PDA

View Full Version : Lesbian Couple That Launched Gay Marriage in MA Calls It Quits



Gingersnap
02-04-2009, 10:09 AM
Lesbian Couple That Launched Gay Marriage in MA Calls It Quits

by Kilian Melloy
EDGE Contributor
Tuesday Feb 3, 2009


http://i43.tinypic.com/14465gp.jpg
Hillary and Julie Goodridge (Source:Charles Krupa / AP)

When Massachusetts couple Hillary and Julie Goodridge wed, nearly five years ago, they were hailed as "pioneers" who had ushered in a new day for America’s gay and lesbian families--a day of matrimonial equity, when gays and lesbians could, for the first time, wed their life’s partners.

What the court case that bore their name--the case that is still called "Goodridge" for short"--meant was that the right to a family was, in Massachusetts at least, a matter of constitutional guarantee. Gays and lesbians were, for the first time, as good as everyone else: good enough to marry legally... and good enough to divorce.

After all, the point of marriage equality was never to lay claim to gay and lesbian relationships being better than heterosexual unions. All gay and lesbian families wanted was equality: the right to decide who to offer promises to, and the right to then try to keep those vows intact for life.

Inevitably, some of the marriages that followed were going to end in divorce: the flipside of equality.

But the Goodridges led the way. They were seen as a symbol, and symbols are of interest to the wider community.

Thus, when Hillary and Julie Goodridge filed for divorce on Jan. 29, there was bound to be interest from those in the GLBT community, as well as from those who fought to prevent marriage equality and, after it became a matter of law in Massachusetts five years ago, sought to repeal it.

A Feb. 3 article in the Boston Herald called the Goodridges "gay icons," and noted that the details of their divorce have been kept private.

The article quoted Ann Kiernan Smith, the 82-year-old mother of Hillary Goodridge, who observed, "I guess because Julie and Hillary made headlines, people will pick on it."

Indeed, marriage equality foe Kris Mineau, who heads up the anti-gay Massachusetts Family Institute, was quick to issue commentary about the news.

Said Mineau about the divorce--one of 168 that were filed for in one month in Suffolk County, the Herald said, with most of those divorcing couples being of opposite genders--"Obviously, they don’t hold the institution in very high esteem."

Mineau said that he couldn’t "help but reflect on the pain this couple has caused on the Commonwealth [of Massachusetts] and the nation to redefine marriage.

"And now they’re getting divorced?" Mineau continued.

"It doesn’t make a lot of sense."

Edge Boston (http://www.edgeboston.com/index.php?ch=news&sc=&sc2=news&sc3=&id=86775)

Apocalypse
02-04-2009, 11:22 AM
I remember few years back another Lesbian couple that married in Mass. who lived here in Iowa later wanted to get divorced. But they ran into an interesting problem, in that Iowa doesn't recognize same sex marriages, and as such, wouldn't preform their divorce because if they did, it could be used to force Iowa law to recognize same sex unions. So they were caught in legal limbo, for they were by Mass law married, but under Iowa law couldn't divorce because Iowa didn't recognize it.

One lesson gays should have learned, if you use these few places to marry, stay there because the legal issues of where you go home too, will only mount if problems arise.

hmac
02-04-2009, 01:32 PM
Honestly, considering the divorce rates among men and women, you would think the gay divorce rate would be even higher. In general, legally or not legally married, people don't take marriage seriously. People forget that it's not all about love. So many want it sooo bad, then they get there, and it's not all about the "dream" anymore. It's reality. Spirituality is a large part of marriage and many times, it's what keeps it together. People get selfish and forget the purpose of marriage. And in the chrisitan world, it's about serving God as a couple.

PoliCon
02-04-2009, 01:43 PM
marriage is great when you have love in it - but marriage is not about love. It's about social order and familial stability.

Gingersnap
02-04-2009, 02:28 PM
marriage is great when you have love in it - but marriage is not about love. It's about social order and familial stability.

And smart financial planning. ;)

PoliCon
02-04-2009, 03:21 PM
And smart financial planning. ;)

That's one of the things that allows for stability and the love . . . . .

jinxmchue
02-04-2009, 04:48 PM
Five years? That's an unusually long time for a homosexual relationship to last. The average is 18 months.

Odysseus
02-04-2009, 04:56 PM
I remember few years back another Lesbian couple that married in Mass. who lived here in Iowa later wanted to get divorced. But they ran into an interesting problem, in that Iowa doesn't recognize same sex marriages, and as such, wouldn't preform their divorce because if they did, it could be used to force Iowa law to recognize same sex unions. So they were caught in legal limbo, for they were by Mass law married, but under Iowa law couldn't divorce because Iowa didn't recognize it.

One lesson gays should have learned, if you use these few places to marry, stay there because the legal issues of where you go home too, will only mount if problems arise.
Ah, but the whole point of getting one state to legalize gay marriage was to impose it on the other 49 through the "full faith and credit" clause.

marriage is great when you have love in it - but marriage is not about love. It's about social order and familial stability.
And the gay lifestyle is about hedonism and the elevation of personal preferences over the needs or norms of society and children.

snuglet
02-06-2009, 06:33 AM
And the gay lifestyle is about hedonism and the elevation of personal preferences over the needs or norms of society and children.

Yup. These two women didn't care about their marriage. They cared about being poster children for a stupid movement.

BTW, My dad, on love:

"Never marry for money.
Hang around the rich and marry for love."

Odysseus
02-06-2009, 09:58 AM
Yup. These two women didn't care about their marriage. They cared about being poster children for a stupid movement.
BTW, My dad, on love:
"Never marry for money.
Hang around the rich and marry for love."

That's good advice. My dad knew a guy who married an heiress. She treated him like a servant, and his life was miserable. My dad's conclusion was that if you marry into money, you're still going to have to earn it.

PoliCon
02-06-2009, 09:58 AM
Yup. These two women didn't care about their marriage. They cared about being poster children for a stupid movement.

BTW, My dad, on love:

"Never marry for money.
Hang around the rich and marry for love."most every woman on the planet marries for money - they just don't have the guts to admit it. This is evidenced in that the bulk of divorces are over money. Women want security and money is one of the best ways to get that sense of security.

wilbur
02-08-2009, 01:58 PM
Mineau said that he couldn’t "help but reflect on the pain this couple has caused on the Commonwealth [of Massachusetts] and the nation to redefine marriage.


Wow, that sounds awful. How did they ever get through it?

FlaGator
02-08-2009, 02:42 PM
Five years? That's an unusually long time for a homosexual relationship to last. The average is 18 months.

Male homosexual relationships are short, female relation ships tend to last much longer. It has to do with female homosexual being more monogamous that male homosexuals. Male homosexuals are basically whores.

FlaGator
02-08-2009, 02:45 PM
Wow, that sounds awful. How did they ever get through it?

Direct that question to those in California who can't get over the people passing an amendment to bar same sex marriges. They seem to be having a lot of trouble "getting through it".

Odysseus
02-09-2009, 10:18 AM
Wow, that sounds awful. How did they ever get through it?
By correcting for it when possible, such as with Prop 8.

Male homosexual relationships are short, female relation ships tend to last much longer. It has to do with female homosexual being more monogamous that male homosexuals. Male homosexuals are basically whores.
Gay men are still men, and the excesses of gay males are the excesses of male sexuality, which, without the restraints placed upon it by women, would be promiscuous, shallow and lacking in emotional commitment, but goes beyond that. Think of all of the stupid, fratboy behavior that men indulge in when they are in pursuit of women, then multiply it. Being straight in a gay neighborhood is like being a woman walking past a construction site.

Repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell is going to be all sorts of interesting...