PDA

View Full Version : What is this Economic Stimulus you speak of?



Rebel Yell
04-08-2009, 10:24 AM
I started to post this in Humor, but there is just too much truth in there to really be a joke.



ECONOMIC STIMULUS PAYMENT

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment.
This is a very exciting new program and will explain using the Q and
A format.


Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.


Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition
TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China and S.Korea?

A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending
your stimulus check wisely:


If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China .

If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer it will go to India .

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico,Honduras, and
Guatemala (unless you buy organic).

If you buy a car it will go to Japan .

If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan .

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America . You can keep the money
in America by spending it at yard sales, Lotto, Casinos, going to a
baseball game, or spend it on massage parlor, prostitutes, beer
(domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

Odysseus
04-08-2009, 12:02 PM
I started to post this in Humor, but there is just too much truth in there to really be a joke.

You forgot bourbon! Buy American! Jack Daniels rules! It's as American as baseball, hotdogs, apple pie and fixed percentage of every domestically made automobile! :D

Rebel Yell
04-08-2009, 12:04 PM
You forgot bourbon! Buy American! Jack Daniels rules! It's as American as baseball, hotdogs, apple pie and fixed percentage of every domestically made automobile! :D

Call me crazy, but I've never liked Jack, or Crown for that matter. I'm a SoCo man, myself.:D

enslaved1
04-08-2009, 10:56 PM
You are absolutely right, there is way too much truth in that to be a joke.

Odysseus
04-09-2009, 12:31 PM
Call me crazy, but I've never liked Jack, or Crown for that matter. I'm a SoCo man, myself.:D

Personally, I like Gentleman Jack and Jack Daniels Single Barrel, both of which compare nicely to most single malt scotches, but are generally cheaper.

tacitus
04-09-2009, 12:40 PM
Nothing but the best.
http://www.knobcreek.com/img/store_pro_labels.jpg

Elspeth
04-10-2009, 01:48 PM
Actually, you can stimulate the economy buy buying from American small businesses. Even purchases from your Avon lady, your local mechanic, your local handyman, can help stimulate the AMERICAN economy.