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FlaGator
04-23-2009, 01:15 AM
It looks to be another beautiful spring day here in North Florida. Temps in the mid 70's and clear blue skies!

TOTD: The thought of the day will be basically my thoughts about today and what it means to me. I feel compelled to share this so that others may find some hope in my story. As of today Iíve been clean and sober for 3 years. I can in no way take credit for this because I did nothing to bring it about. God literally took the urge away from me. To set the stage, I had been drinking since I was 15 years old and drinking heavily since I was 18. I had managed to stay sober and off drugs for a few months here and there but no matter my intentions I always found an excuse to once again pick up a drink or a drug. Between the age of 37 and 45 I had pretty much accepted the fact that I was an alcoholic and a drug addict and quit trying to quit using. I had been arrested 3 or 4 times for various drinking offenses and I had 2 DUIs. Three years ago yesterday I got my third DUI.
I sat in jail and felt pretty certain that my life was over. My intention at that point was to get out of jail, go home and kill myself. I finally got bailed out at around 5:00 p.m. on the April 23rd. I went home and started to plot my death. I donít like pain so cutting my wrists or shooting myself was out of the question. I figured that I would put a Led Zeppelin CD in the stereo in my car, start it up in the garage and wait for the inevitable to take place. Basically being a coward I started putting it off. As I lay in my bed enjoying my misery and self-pity the Lord broke in to my thoughts for a personal service announcement. He simply said hang on and things will get better. The emotion I felt could not be denied. It seemed that the voice understood and sympathized. At any rate, I didnít do anything that night. After several days I noticed that I hadnít thought about or wanted a drink.
I have never wanted to drink or do a drug ever again. I quit smoking a few months later and I havenít looked back (wellÖ not very often). God took it all away from me. I had quit drinking before and I had always gone through withdrawal. This time no withdrawal, no DTs, no shakes and most importantly no desire. I donít know why He did this for me when He has let others die. It wasnít because I deserved it. I was not a Christian and never bought into the whole Jesus died from my sins thing. I had never really done anything for anyone other than myself and really didnít care what happened to others. I had never lived a life that in any way honored or respected God. Apparently it didnít matter. He called me to Himself and healed me.
I was thinking about this the last few days and I realized how little I deserved this blessing. I am indebted to him in ways that I can never repay. Not even if I lived for an eternity could I ever balance the scales. I look at the debt that I have and it terrifies me. Sometimes I almost wish He would have let me drink myself to death or OD on some drug. I realize how unworthy I am of all that He has done for me. Iím not talking about the promise of eternal life in the presence of the Holy God; it is the removal of my addictions for which I am not fit to receive. I am sure there are others who are much more deserving of the miracle that I received but yet I sit here alive and whole when, if justice had been done to me, I would be worm food.
So on this birthday/anniversary I want to give thanks God my Father and Christ my Savior for giving me a tangible example of salvation by taking my addictions from me and for how much God loves us even though we donít deserve it. I feel that God has given me a message that he wants me to relate to everyone here. No matter how much you believe or donít believe, no matter how much love or donít love God, no matter what things you have done wrong in your life, no matter how undeserving you may feel you are, God loves you and He wants to give you the things you need the most. All you have to do is to believe and then live like you believe. It is hard to do this sometimes but once you feel the embrace of Godís love and that of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, and guidance of the Holy Spirit you will want to try.
Peace be with everyone of you here at CU. I truly think of all of you as my friends and I donít have so many friends that I can afford to take anyone of them for granted. I am honored to have spent my three years of sober thinking and living amongst such fine people!

Maybe you can get a topic out of this. :)

lacarnut
04-23-2009, 03:20 AM
Looks like it is going to be a beautiful day in south Louisiana. Hope the weather holds cause I am going to Orange Beach AL. Sunday.

Congrats on your 3rd anniversary. I fought those demons for many years and have not had a drink in 30 years. I quit on my own because I figured the next auto crash I got into while intoxicated would be my last. I totaled 4 cars and decided I wanted to live. My forehead looks like a road map from hitting the windshield so many times.

Several years later, I was sitting on the couch watching TV while smoking (3 pks a day) a voice told me to quit smoking. I got up threw the cigs and lighter in the trash and never had the urge to smoke another cig. That is a miracle in my opinion because I had tried to stop a few times cause once I started boozing it up all bets were off. I think I am alive today because of my moms prayers. She prayed for me every day of her life. Since my mom and dad are gone, I figured I better start doing my own praying so that I can keep that Angel on my shoulder.

Good luck to you my friend and keep up the good work.

SarasotaRepub
04-23-2009, 08:33 AM
Looks to a nice day here also, maybe near 80.

Oh thanks FlaGator for sucking me back into the Day Threads...bastid!!!!:D
Congrats on your "stopping" for 3 solid years.

I'm going out side for a smoke and a shot now...
JUST KIDDING!!!:p

linda22003
04-23-2009, 09:07 AM
Congratulations, FlaGator, for making such big changes in your life. If our access to God's love and mercy depended on our "deserving" it, very few of us would have a snowball's chance, of course.

Not having had the compulsions you mention in your post, I can only imagine how difficult they are to live with (and sometimes, to live without). So.... good for you! :)

Gingersnap
04-23-2009, 10:29 AM
Good for you! It really is a shocking and almost frightening thing to be personally set on the right path the Lord. Being the recipient of a miracle really does make you think. Clearly, your work wasn't done (or maybe even begun). :)

movie buff
04-23-2009, 10:39 AM
Congratulations, FLAGator! May God continue to bless you!

FlaGator
04-23-2009, 01:03 PM
I want to thank all of you for your kindness and words of encouragement. I truly appreciated them and you. Perhaps this explains to do degree my zealousness towards God and my faith. I owe him more that I can ever repay. :)

Peace,
G

SaintLouieWoman
04-23-2009, 03:30 PM
Your words are inspiring. Congratulations on listening to what God was telling you. Wish He would come to St Louis and whisper about the evils of cigars into my favorite person in the world's ear. I have pulmonary hypertension and the smoke really gets to me, literally. No smoking is in the house, though, so that helps.

I had an uncle and two cousins (long gone) who suffered from those demons. Sadly, God didn't come to them or they didn't choose to listen. Both my cousins died young. My uncle was a broken man. After seeing that growing up, I have never gotten into drinking and don't really find it amusing.

FlaGator
04-23-2009, 04:46 PM
Your words are inspiring. Congratulations on listening to what God was telling you. Wish He would come to St Louis and whisper about the evils of cigars into my favorite person in the world's ear. I have pulmonary hypertension and the smoke really gets to me, literally. No smoking is in the house, though, so that helps.

I had an uncle and two cousins (long gone) who suffered from those demons. Sadly, God didn't come to them or they didn't choose to listen. Both my cousins died young. My uncle was a broken man. After seeing that growing up, I have never gotten into drinking and don't really find it amusing.

I am sorry to hear that. I think that God speaks to all of us in a really quiet little voice and we can only hear Him when we are so down that we just stop thinking and cluttering up our minds. There is a verse from scripture that I like from 1 Kings and I think it sums thing up nicely.


1Ki 19:11 And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake:
1Ki 19:12 And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.
1Ki 19:13 And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?


I guess I was finally quiet enough to hear Him speak. Now I try to keep my life very quiet...

Bubba Dawg
04-23-2009, 10:56 PM
Good on ya, Noble Mon.

May God continue to Bless and keep you.

And, Peace.

SaintLouieWoman
04-23-2009, 11:12 PM
This is a time for anniversaries. The one coming up here isn't life-shattering. It's about Blue, my avatar dog. Eight years ago Blue was diagnosed with epilepsy. He went through weekly, sometimes monthly (if we were lucky) grand mall seizures. The vet had "the talk" to me that it might be time to evaluate whether Blue should continue.

Tomorrow is Blue's 10th birthday. In that time I lost two other greyhounds, but brave Blue carries on. He's still on so many anti-seizure drugs that his back legs sometimes give out on him. But he persists. He has a beautiful spirit.

And he's been seizure free almost 21 months. He loves SR and SR's greyhound, Xena, and our other greyhound, Darlene. He has a happy little life now.

Life is all about spirit, whether with humans or animals. Congrats to everyone who has overcome whatever demons have been tormenting them. God is good.