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View Full Version : Should this man be nominated for a Darwin Award?



AHeneen
04-24-2009, 08:08 AM
Man Pretending to Fall Off Bridge Actually Falls
Fox News (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,517702,00.html)

BLOOMINGTON, Minn. Police said a 23-year-old man is in stable condition after he pretended that he was falling off a bridge over the Minnesota River, then actually fell off the bridge.

Police got a call just before 5 a.m. Sunday from a 21-year-old man who said his friend fell off the Highway 77 bridge and into a marshy area about 30 feet below.

The caller said he was driving north when his friend, who he said had been drinking, told him to pull into the bridge's emergency lane so he could urinate.

The 23-year-old stood eventually climbed to the ledge of the bridge, then looked at his friend and pretended to fall. "He then in fact fell," reads a press release from the Bloomingtin Police Department.

Police from Bloomington and Eagan responded, and the Eagan Fire Department used a chair lift to retrieve the man. He was transported to Hennepin County Medical Center where was treated.

linda22003
04-24-2009, 08:29 AM
The caller said he was driving north when his friend, who he said had been drinking, told him to pull into the bridge's emergency lane so he could urinate.

The 23-year-old stood eventually climbed to the ledge of the bridge, then looked at his friend and pretended to fall. "He then in fact fell," reads a press release from the Bloomingtin Police Department.



Behold, the Power of Alcohol. :rolleyes:

I think that to be eligible for a Darwin Award, you have to be killed, right?

This is the kind of story I like to play a game with: "Guess the Sex of the Victim". Even if you mask any gender indications in the article, there's a 100-in-100 chance of guessing if the person in the article is male or female. :p

Gingersnap
04-24-2009, 09:45 AM
This is why the ratio of baby boys to baby girls is 106:100. :D

linda22003
04-24-2009, 09:50 AM
This is why the ratio of baby boys to baby girls is 106:100. :D

Things have a way of evening out. :)

Odysseus
04-24-2009, 10:06 AM
Behold, the Power of Alcohol. :rolleyes:

I think that to be eligible for a Darwin Award, you have to be killed, right?
I think that the requirement is that the act has to render you incapable of adding to the gene pool, so if the nominee lost certain critical anatomy, it might qualify, but other than that, I'd say that they have to be killed.


This is the kind of story I like to play a game with: "Guess the Sex of the Victim". Even if you mask any gender indications in the article, there's a 100-in-100 chance of guessing if the person in the article is male or female. :p
In this case, I think that a woman would not have been likely to pee off of a bridge, but would have looked for some bushes, so this one is kind of a no-brainer (in more ways than the obvious). :D

linda22003
04-24-2009, 10:12 AM
In this case, I think that a woman would not have been likely to pee off of a bridge, but would have looked for some bushes, so this one is kind of a no-brainer (in more ways than the obvious). :D

If you break it into parts, and only consider the "pretending to fall off the bridge" part, I think we still have an obvious answer. :p

Odysseus
04-24-2009, 10:32 AM
If you break it into parts, and only consider the "pretending to fall off the bridge" part, I think we still have an obvious answer. :p

Very true. I'd have no doubt that this was a male, most likely white, most likely not a college graduate (but possibly a college student, especially if he's in a frat). Accidental shooting victims tend to be male also, but racially neutral. Now, if I told you that someone had made a 911 call to complain that their fast food order had been shorted on French Fries, what would you guess about the UNSUB?

linda22003
04-24-2009, 10:57 AM
Oh, I agree, the nitpicky ones are totally Chick Crimes. Any that involve egregious bodily injury because of drunkenness or clowning around is the province of the male. You know, the ones that can kill you. :)

Odysseus
04-24-2009, 12:12 PM
Oh, I agree, the nitpicky ones are totally Chick Crimes. Any that involve egregious bodily injury because of drunkenness or clowning around is the province of the male. You know, the ones that can kill you. :)

True, although I do think that some women are inclined to get men killed by proxy. In fact, that brings me back to one night...:

Years ago, a group of teenagers, three or four boys and one girl, were drinking beers on my doorstep (this was back when I lived in a groundfloor apartment in Manhattan) and I politely asked them to take it somewhere else, as it was after midnight and I had to be up early the next morning for a PT test. The boys were fine with it, but the girl threw her beer bottle against the door, shattering it. I came out again and despite the best efforts of the boys to shut her up, she continued to yell, make threats and otherwise try to piss me off, and she succeeded. Understand, I'd gone to bed early because I had a 0500 formation the next day and had to get out of bed to ask them to stop making noise in the middle of the night. After coming back out and getting a ration of obscenity from this idiot, I was so pissed that I was sorely tempted to break my rule against hitting a woman. Now to understand how stupid this girl was, you have to understand a few things about me back then: I was in my late twenties, about a head taller than the biggest kid in front of me, and I was in the best shape of my life. I was benching 225 and weighed in at 185, had a 48-inch chest and 32-inch waist, plus I was wearing Army PT sweats, and even the nastiest punks in my neighborhood considered me someone to avoid (That was nineteen years, four herniated disks and many pounds ago...<sigh>). I radiated menace, and those kids, except for the girl, could see it. Every time she said some vicious, stupid, drunken thing that pissed me off, the boys would alternate between frantically trying to shut her up and frantically (and sincerely) apologizing to me. I'd calm down, turn around, and then she'd do it again. It suddenly occurred to me that she wanted to see a fight and that she didn't care who got hurt. Since then, I've seen women pick fights that most men would avoid, secure in the knowledge that they'd never get hit, but I've seen a lot of men get their asses kicked because of it.

linda22003
04-24-2009, 12:14 PM
True, although I do think that some women are inclined to get men killed by proxy.

Excellent point. We also give more heart attacks than we get. ;)

Odysseus
04-24-2009, 12:19 PM
Excellent point. We also give more heart attacks than we get. ;)

Exactly. The reason that most men die before their wives is that they want to. :D