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View Full Version : Gay Marriage Is Out. New Hotness: Triads.



Gingersnap
05-12-2009, 05:18 PM
First came traditional marriage. Then, gay marriage. Now, there's a movement combining both—simultaneously.

Abby Ellin visits the next frontier of nuptials: the "triad."

Less than 18 months ago, Sasha Lessin and Janet Kira Lessin gathered before their friends near their home in Maui, and proclaimed their love for one another. Nothing unusual about that—Sasha, 68, and Janet, 55—were legally married in 2000. Rather, this public commitment ceremony was designed to also bind them to Shivaya, their new 60-something "husband." Says Sasha: “I want to walk down the street hand in hand in hand in hand and live together openly and proclaim our relationship. But also to have all those survivor and visitation rights and tax breaks and everything like that.”

“I want to walk down the street hand in hand in hand in hand and live together openly and proclaim our relationship,” says Sasha Lessin. “But also to have all those survivor and visitation rights and tax breaks and everything like that.”

Maine this week became the fifth state, and the fourth in New England, to legalize gay marriage, provoking yet another national debate about same-sex unions. The Lessins' advocacy group, the Maui-based World Polyamory Association, is pushing for the next frontier of less-traditional codified relationships. This community has even come up with a name for what the rest of the world generally would call a committed threesome: the "triad."

Unlike open marriages and the swinger days of the 1960s and 1970s, these unions are not about sex with multiple outside partners. Nor are they relationships where one person is involved with two others, who are not involved with each other, a la actress Tilda Swinton. That's closer to bigamy. Instead, triads—"triangular triads," to use precise polyamorous jargon—demand that all three parties have full relationships, including sexual, with each other. In the Lessins case, that can be varying pairs but, as Sasha, a psychologist, puts it, "Janet loves it when she gets a double decker." In a triad, there would be no doubt in Elizabeth Edwards’ mind whether her husband fathered a baby out of wedlock; she likely would have participated in it.

There are no statistics or studies out there, but according to Robyn Trask, the executive director of Loving More, a nonprofit organization in Loveland (yes, really), Colorado, dedicated to poly-education and support, about 25 percent of the estimated 50,000 self-identified polyamorists in the U.S. live together in semi-wedded bliss. A disproportionate number of them are baby boomers. (Paging Timothy Leary: Janet Lessin claims on her Web site that she's able to travel astrally.)

No slippery slopes to see here - move along. :D

The Daily Beast (http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-05-07/threesome-marriages/full/)

Rockntractor
05-12-2009, 05:23 PM
No slippery slopes to see here - move along. :D

The Daily Beast (http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-05-07/threesome-marriages/full/)
I woke up from my nap to read this? That deep puddle in my driveway is looking more and more inviting.

hazlnut
05-12-2009, 05:34 PM
First of all, who knew Ginger read the DailyBeast.:eek:

Second of all, if it hadn't come from the DailyBeast I'd see is as a far-right attempt to drum up fear about acceptance of gay marriage.

Okay so, now I have to deal with it.

Honestly, this is interesting. And logically, because all three participants are 'single' at the time of the ceremony, gay marriage could lead to this.

I would say gay marriage would not lead to the more 'traditional' polygamy practiced in some mormon sects because when applying for a marriage license the groom would have to list his current marital status and therefore not be eligible for a state marriage license.

Mama Mia! Here we go again...

(yes, I like musicals) TMI?

Gingersnap
05-12-2009, 05:40 PM
First of all, who knew Ginger read the DailyBeast.:eek:

Indeed, who knew? :p

BadCat
05-12-2009, 06:29 PM
And coming soon to a Justice of the Peace in YOUR neighborhood...

Man, Man, Woman marriages.
Woman, Woman, Man marriages.
Man, woman, underaged girl marriages.
Man, Man, goat marriages.
Woman, woman, horse marriages.
Man, Man, young boy, dead woman marriages.
Woman, woman, young boy, dead horse marriages.

It's "progressive"!

megimoo
05-12-2009, 06:40 PM
And coming soon to a Justice of the Peace in YOUR neighborhood...

Man, Man, Woman marriages.
Woman, Woman, Man marriages.
Man, woman, underaged girl marriages.
Man, Man, goat marriages.
Woman, woman, horse marriages.
Man, Man, young boy, dead woman marriages.
Woman, woman, young boy, dead horse marriages.

It's "progressive"!After a while the dead horse would stink as much as the hippie woman !

megimoo
05-12-2009, 06:47 PM
No slippery slopes to see here - move along. :D

The Daily Beast (http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-05-07/threesome-marriages/full/)Lets see If I have this straight?Two woman one man .At least one of the woman is Bi Sexual and the man is straight but with very low sexual tastes ?Or are both of the woman lesbian and the man bi Sexual ? Or Are they All Bi Sexual ?And "Janet loves it when she gets a double decker " this one must be Bi ?

samurai
05-12-2009, 08:45 PM
This has already happened over in the Netherlands:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=46583


And there are definitely advocates for "triads" in the US. The group mentioned in the original article is just 1 of several. It will be next up on the agenda once gay marriages are fairly firmly ensconced in most or all of the US.

FlaGator
05-12-2009, 10:09 PM
No slippery slopes to see here - move along. :D

The Daily Beast (http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-05-07/threesome-marriages/full/)

sssssh! Don't wake wilbur up. He's comfortably asleep on his not slippery slope.

Shannon
05-12-2009, 10:37 PM
I've been seriously considering marrying my dog. Any objections?


BTW, she is very capable of consenting.:rolleyes:

Gingersnap
05-12-2009, 10:40 PM
Lets see If I have this straight?Two woman one man .At least one of the woman is Bi Sexual and the man is straight but with very low sexual tastes ?Or are both of the woman lesbian and the man bi Sexual ? Or Are they All Bi Sexual ?And "Janet loves it when she gets a double decker " this one must be Bi ?

Any combo is fair game or any group of one type. I'm sort of clued into this because I live in Colorado. We have a lot of "intentional communities", some of which are frankly polyamorous (and some polygynous, etc.).

Rockntractor
05-12-2009, 10:45 PM
I've been seriously considering marrying my dog. Any objections?


BTW, she is very capable of consenting.:rolleyes:
I think you are misreading the whole humping your leg thing!

Gingersnap
05-12-2009, 11:29 PM
I've been seriously considering marrying my dog. Any objections?


BTW, she is very capable of consenting.:rolleyes:

Sandy Jean would make a fine companion but will she mow the lawn and write horror stories? Doubtful.

Shannon
05-12-2009, 11:36 PM
Sandy Jean would make a fine companion but will she mow the lawn and write horror stories? Doubtful.

No...but her faithfulness is unquestionable.;)

Gingersnap
05-12-2009, 11:56 PM
No...but her faithfulness is unquestionable.;)

Well, yes. She's spayed and locked in the house. We sort of frown on that treatment for Domestic Partners these days.

jinxmchue
05-13-2009, 08:24 AM
This has already happened over in the Netherlands:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=46583


And there are definitely advocates for "triads" in the US. The group mentioned in the original article is just 1 of several. It will be next up on the agenda once gay marriages are fairly firmly ensconced in most or all of the US.

Yep. This was predicted by gay marriage opponents many years ago. Gay marriage advocates pooh-poohed the predictions, claiming they were a slippery slope fallacy. Then that three person marriage happened in the Netherlands and blew their skepticism (if it ever was real) out of the water. The door has been cracked open, folks, and the once unthinkable is now starting to creep in.

"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.

"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him."

FeebMaster
05-13-2009, 08:27 AM
Won't someone please think of the children?

stsinner
05-13-2009, 10:36 AM
America was once a great country with great morals. No more. Sick fucking people. Sick fucking judges. Sick fucking schools. Our poor children have to inherit this shit hole of a country now, no better than Amsterdam. It's like all of America is now Las Vegas.

Gingersnap
05-13-2009, 11:02 AM
Won't someone please think of the children?

Oh, they have. That's why they removed all those LDS fundy kids in Colorado City. Now, I doubt that social services is prepared to make a sweep of various "alternative lifestyle" sexual groupings who also contain kids.

I mean, with the fundy kids there was some serious "religious abuse" in their parents' screwed up sexual couplings. Kids in polyamorous groups are just exposed to more "sophistication" than some would like. :rolleyes:

wilbur
05-13-2009, 11:05 AM
This has already happened over in the Netherlands:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=46583


And there are definitely advocates for "triads" in the US. The group mentioned in the original article is just 1 of several. It will be next up on the agenda once gay marriages are fairly firmly ensconced in most or all of the US.

Actually, this article is wrong. These people didnt get married, nor did they get a triad registered partnership (Dutch civil union of sorts). In fact, there is no legal recognition for tried partnerships in the Netherlands at all.

They signed cohabitation contracts together, and held their own little ritual.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samenlevingscontract

Sorry folks, your slippery slope is still a figment of your imagination.

Gingersnap
05-13-2009, 11:13 AM
Sorry folks, your slippery slope is still a figment of your imagination.

From the OP article:


"We should have every right to inherit from each other and visit each other—I don’t care what you call it, we’re not second-class citizens!” says Janet Lessin. “Any people who wish to form a marriage with all the rights and duties of a marriage should have the legal right to. The spurious arguments of marriage being for procreation of children is ridiculous.”

wilbur
05-13-2009, 11:21 AM
From the OP article:

So what? I find it hard to believe that this woman and her unconventional relationship have been any more or less enabled by same-sex marriage (which btw, is still illegal most everywhere). One quote from an article does not make a movement. They have a term for this sort of thing... its called "crying wolf".

Molon Labe
05-13-2009, 11:26 AM
And coming soon to a Justice of the Peace in YOUR neighborhood...

Man, Man, Woman marriages.
Woman, Woman, Man marriages.
Man, woman, underaged girl marriages.
Man, Man, goat marriages.
Woman, woman, horse marriages.
Man, Man, young boy, dead woman marriages.
Woman, woman, young boy, dead horse marriages.

It's "progressive"!


You forgot man, man, step daughter & man, man, stepson
What would we do without progressive thinking. :rolleyes:

NJCardFan
05-13-2009, 11:29 AM
America was once a great country with great morals. No more. Sick fucking people. Sick fucking judges. Sick fucking schools. Our poor children have to inherit this shit hole of a country now, no better than Amsterdam. It's like all of America is now Las Vegas.
If anyone has trouble understand the concept of Sodom and Gomorrah, just take a look around.

Gingersnap
05-13-2009, 11:48 AM
So what? I find it hard to believe that this woman and her unconventional relationship have been any more or less enabled by same-sex marriage (which btw, is still illegal most everywhere). One quote from an article does not make a movement. They have a term for this sort of thing... its called "crying wolf".

Then why do all of these unconventional people cite the movement for gay marriage as a fundamental precedent in legalizing their own arrangements? You're aware that there are several suits currently working their way through the court system to decriminalize and ultimately legalize polygamy, right? You're aware of the fight going on in Germany to sanction "marriage" between two siblings, right?

While one quote doesn't make a movement, there is simply no reason to believe that people in unconventional relationships will not attach themselves to a movement that already exists. And why not? Redefining marriage opens up the possibility of endless tinkering. How could you say that two women and five men should not receive the legal benefits of marriage when two men can? What would be your contra argument?

FeebMaster
05-13-2009, 11:54 AM
Then why do all of these unconventional people cite the movement for gay marriage as a fundamental precedent in legalizing their own arrangements? You're aware that there are several suits currently working their way through the court system to decriminalize and ultimately legalize polygamy, right? You're aware of the fight going on in Germany to sanction "marriage" between two siblings, right?

While one quote doesn't make a movement, there is simply no reason to believe that people in unconventional relationships will not attach themselves to a movement that already exists. And why not? Redefining marriage opens up the possibility of endless tinkering. How could you say that two women and five men should not receive the legal benefits of marriage when two men can? What would be your contra argument?

You brought this on yourselves by getting the government involved in marriage in the first place.

wilbur
05-13-2009, 12:06 PM
Then why do all of these unconventional people cite the movement for gay marriage as a fundamental precedent in legalizing their own arrangements? You're aware that there are several suits currently working their way through the court system to decriminalize and ultimately legalize polygamy, right? You're aware of the fight going on in Germany to sanction "marriage" between two siblings, right?

While one quote doesn't make a movement, there is simply no reason to believe that people in unconventional relationships will not attach themselves to a movement that already exists. And why not? Redefining marriage opens up the possibility of endless tinkering. How could you say that two women and five men should not receive the legal benefits of marriage when two men can? What would be your contra argument?

Again, so what? Such ankle bitters straggling behind, looking for a free ride to legitimacy on the backs of others, are something that we always have to deal with, when changing just about any law. I'm sure there's probably some nuts in Texas who feel emboldened to fight for state approval to carpet their lawns with landmines, anytime gun control laws are repealed. But so what?

Its interesting that gay marriage has had comparatively resounding success, when compared with polygamists movements, who have been fighting their battle much longer.

Gingersnap
05-13-2009, 12:10 PM
You brought this on yourselves by getting the government involved in marriage in the first place.

You'll get no argument from me on that point. If government does have to be involved in personal relationships, we could at least make those relationships contractual and not sexual.

hazlnut
05-13-2009, 12:16 PM
You brought this on yourselves by getting the government involved in marriage in the first place.

I guess we own a big thanks to the supporters of Prop 8 then. Government tried to get out (In re Marriage Cases) but they were pulled back in... (Al Pacino GF III)