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View Full Version : Jury Duty Excuses - Let's Hear 'Em.



Gingersnap
12-10-2009, 08:52 PM
My number came up. I must appear. I'm toying with the idea of wearing my t-shirt that has the Confederate Battle Flag in the background with a snarling wolf bursting through the Stars and Bars.

Too extreme? :D

Big Guy
12-10-2009, 08:56 PM
My number came up. I must appear. I'm toying with the idea of wearing my t-shirt that has the Confederate Battle Flag in the background with a snarling wolf bursting through the Stars and Bars.

Too extreme? :D

You go in to the jury pool, and when they start asking questions make sure you ask "If they arent guilty, then why were they arrested?". Make comments like, they shouldnt put themself in the situation". I did it, they dismissed me right away. :D

Bubba Dawg
12-10-2009, 08:58 PM
Yeah, or something like Do you think I'm gonna go to all the trouble of being on a jury and find the schmuck innocent?

Big Guy
12-10-2009, 09:04 PM
Play the race card, if they are white say, nooo way a white guy could do that.
Black, of course they did it all blacks do that stuff.
Mexican, they are too lazey to learn our language let alone work, of course they did it.
Asian, nooo way, they are too smart for that.
No lawyer would pick you.:D

Rockntractor
12-10-2009, 09:07 PM
read one of Glenn becks books while you are waiting.

Big Guy
12-10-2009, 09:08 PM
If you were a dude you could say " My wife is getting pregnant and I want to be there for it":D

Gingersnap
12-10-2009, 09:12 PM
read one of Glenn becks books while you are waiting.

I do plan on taking my 'History of Lobotomy' book but that's purely coincidence.

ralph wiggum
12-10-2009, 09:43 PM
There's an episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" you should watch, "The Car Pool Lane".

PoliCon
12-10-2009, 09:45 PM
read one of Glenn becks books while you are waiting.

BRILLIANT

patriot45
12-10-2009, 09:46 PM
I do plan on taking my 'History of Lobotomy' book but that's purely coincidence.

All kidding aside if you wore an Ann Coulter T shirt they wouldn't even let you in the courthouse!!

Or just don't answer the summons, they don't do anything. I did that when I first opened my shop and I was working 12 hours a day and had no time at all and the 2nd time I just replied that my wife was scheduled for major surgery that day, both things true, and that was the end of that. I'd like to get called when I was actually free to do it, it would be an experience!

PoliCon
12-10-2009, 09:46 PM
Tell them how you support the death penalty for jaywalking

or

Ask how long this will take because you have to check in with the mothership every 4 splarns.

Gingersnap
12-10-2009, 10:53 PM
All kidding aside if you wore an Ann Coulter T shirt they wouldn't even let you in the courthouse!!

Or just don't answer the summons, they don't do anything. I did that when I first opened my shop and I was working 12 hours a day and had no time at all and the 2nd time I just replied that my wife was scheduled for major surgery that day, both things true, and that was the end of that. I'd like to get called when I was actually free to do it, it would be an experience!

I don't have a valid excuse. Sadly.

lacarnut
12-11-2009, 12:11 AM
You can write the appropriate authority asking that they reschedule you for jury duty stating financial hardship at this juncture. I did that but was called several months later.

Do your duty and just go. They may not even pick you. However, with my luck, I was picked both times. That 15 or 20 bucks per day that they give you will come in handy for Xmas.:rolleyes::p

Speedy
12-11-2009, 01:14 AM
Ny dad was called in for Jury Duty in Lubbock, Texas. It was a murder trail and one black dude had killed another in a bar. When asked what he thought about the case my dad said, "Just one nigga killing another nigga, if you ask me."

I was called in once for a drug trial and I said I couldn't serve because I was a customer of the guy and it just wouldn't be right.

FlaGator
12-11-2009, 07:25 AM
George Carlin came up with one of the best ways to avoid jury duty. Say "Your Honor, I'd make a great jurist because I can spot a guilty person <snap your fingers> just like that!"

noonwitch
12-11-2009, 11:17 AM
My late grandmother got called a couple of times in Traverse City-by some weird coincidence, both cases were cases involving the sexual assault on a child. Each time, the lawyers would start the voir dire process, and my grandma would flat out state that she thought that the court should just save themselves the time and have the police take the defendant out back and shoot him.

She was excused each time.

When I was called for jury duty in Detroit, one of the other women in the jury pool got the voir dire process before me. She told the defense lawyer "I look at the defendant and see a thug. I'm voting guilty no matter what". She was excused.

I wasn't, even though I had expressed the beliefs: 1. That children are more honest than adults, and 2. That men and women lie on an equal basis, but that they like about different things. They never excuse public school teachers and state employees, because we get leave from work for jury duty.

linda22003
12-11-2009, 11:34 AM
It's interesting that on a board where liberals are excoriated for being unpatriotic, people are so intent on avoiding a basic civic duty. :cool:

lacarnut
12-11-2009, 11:57 AM
It's interesting that on a board where liberals are excoriated for being unpatriotic, people are so intent on avoiding a basic civic duty. :cool:

How many times have you served.

I served twice. One of those times I tried to convince the Judge to let me off because I was helping my parents do a lease purchase on a rent house they sold. I wanted to make sure certain provisions were included in the purchase agreement. Judge told me no dice and the selection of jurrors ended late that evening.

ralph wiggum
12-11-2009, 01:51 PM
It's interesting that on a board where liberals are excoriated for being unpatriotic, people are so intent on avoiding a basic civic duty. :cool:

Oh, I think most are just joking around.

I have yet to be summoned to jury duty.

RobJohnson
12-11-2009, 02:19 PM
I don't have a valid excuse. Sadly.

It's your civic duty.

TandT
12-11-2009, 02:50 PM
have gotten summoned twice ... once for a federal case that had a defendant with the same name of retired marine warrant officer .. asked if he was the same guy and was excused ... the other for a civil matter, was selected and served as foreman ... we heard testimony and went to deliberate - took 2 minutes before verdict ..

jendf
12-11-2009, 02:59 PM
Tell the judge you are a psychic and you already know the outcome of the case.

This actually happened when I went for jury duty. When the judge asked us if there was any reason why we could not serve on this jury, a guy in my row stood up and gave that reason. All of us potential jurors were snickering but I think he got the last laugh because the judge dismissed him.

FlaGator
12-11-2009, 03:01 PM
Tell the judge you are a psychic and you already know the outcome of the case.

This actually happened when I went for jury duty. When the judge asked us if there was any reason why we could not serve on this jury, a guy in my row stood up and gave that reason. All of us potential jurors were snickering but I think he got the last laugh because the judge dismissed him.


Take Jen's advice. Point to your results on the psychic quiz as proof...

Never mind.

linda22003
12-11-2009, 03:14 PM
How many times have you served.

I served twice. One of those times I tried to convince the Judge to let me off because I was helping my parents do a lease purchase on a rent house they sold. I wanted to make sure certain provisions were included in the purchase agreement. Judge told me no dice and the selection of jurrors ended late that evening.

We have a system in my county where if you are up for jury duty you're issued a group number, and for a week you have to call in each morning to see if your group has been called. I have been notified of this twice, called in each morning for a week, and my group has never been called. :( I wouldn't avoid it.

lacarnut
12-11-2009, 03:55 PM
We have a system in my county where if you are up for jury duty you're issued a group number, and for a week you have to call in each morning to see if your group has been called. I have been notified of this twice, called in each morning for a week, and my group has never been called. :( I wouldn't avoid it.


In my parish, you are sent a summons to appear on a certain date and given a number. If your number is not called, you get to go home. Like I said, both times my number came up... was a juror on an armed robbery and rape case and another concerning receiving stolen goods.

Both cases were quite interesting. The only thing that pissed me off was the Judge bending over backwards to protect the rights of the accused in his instructions to the jury.

Speedy
12-11-2009, 04:40 PM
It's interesting that on a board where liberals are excoriated for being unpatriotic, people are so intent on avoiding a basic civic duty. :cool:


I have sat on a jury a couple of times. One was a murder trial and we aquitted the guy much to the chagrin of the local citizens. At least half of us had gone into deliberations sure the guy was guilty but in the end, the evidence taken one by one pointed to his guilt but as a whole did not add up. It was with some trepidation that we let him go. Turn out that someone else had done it and confessed to it.

The other was a rape trial and the guy pleaded guilty after the first witness so we were released.

A couple of other times I have been called and I have opinions already that won't be swayed so I see it as unfair to sit on the jury so I make some wild ass excuse.

Gingersnap
12-11-2009, 04:52 PM
It's interesting that on a board where liberals are excoriated for being unpatriotic, people are so intent on avoiding a basic civic duty. :cool:

Lighten up, Francis. :p

Of course I went. Fate was playing with me. Some elderly party declared that his prostrate wouldn't endure a one day trial so I was picked last.

The case was a minor assault thing. Some 20-something chick slapped some dude during an argument. They were lovers, of course.

During the lawyer-picking deal, I expressed the radical notion that grown-ups probably shouldn't slap each other during heated arguments. I got tossed out on the elimination round. Seriously, this isn't 1850. It's not okay to express your displeasure by slapping your lover when he has 911 on speed-dial. :D

PoliCon
12-11-2009, 04:54 PM
During the lawyer-picking deal, I expressed the radical notion that grown-ups probably shouldn't slap each other during heated arguments. Oh I don't know . . . some people are into that kind of thing.;)

Gingersnap
12-11-2009, 05:02 PM
Oh I don't know . . . some people are into that kind of thing.;)

I don't have a problem with that. Just don't add the police to your audience when you do it.

PoliCon
12-11-2009, 05:07 PM
I don't have a problem with that. Just don't add the police to your audience when you do it.

well some people are into THAT as well! lol

linda22003
12-12-2009, 11:07 AM
In my parish, you are sent a summons to appear on a certain date and given a number. If your number is not called, you get to go home.

That seems inefficient. At least in our system, you're still at home when you make the call to see whether to go in or not.

RobJohnson
12-12-2009, 11:55 AM
That seems inefficient. At least in our system, you're still at home when you make the call to see whether to go in or not.

That's how it's always been where I have lived.

You get the postcard in the mail, and call on Monday morning to see if you need to do anything else.

NJCardFan
12-12-2009, 12:28 PM
I've gotten the notice 3 times in my life. The first 2 while living in NJ, I was scheduled to go on vacation both times(truth) and was excused. The 3rd while I was in Arizona, I sat around for hours and ended up never being called and was sent home. Now, I'd never get chosen because I'm a law enforcement officer but I'd jump at the opportunity to sit on a jury.