PDA

View Full Version : Married Biological Parents Best For Kids.



Gingersnap
01-29-2010, 01:35 PM
Family structure and living arrangement.

Family structure reflects the number of parents in the household and their relationship to the child; living arrangement reflects their marital or cohabitation status. Considering both factors, the NIS–4 classified children into six categories: living with two married biological parents, living with other married parents (e.g., step-parent, adoptive parent), living with two unmarried parents, living with one parent who had an unmarried partner in the household, living with one parent who had no partner in the household, and living with no parent. The groups differed in rates of every maltreatment category and across both definitional standards. Children living with their married biological parents universally had the lowest rate, whereas those living with a single parent who had a cohabiting partner in the household had the highest rate in all maltreatment categories. Compared to children living with married biological parents, those whose single parent had a live-in partner had more than 8 times the rate of maltreatment overall, over 10 times the rate of abuse, and nearly 8 times the rate of neglect.

You knew it but as a society we probably can't talk about it enough: married bio parents are better for kids than other random family arrangements.

Not all traditional families are good for all kids but taken as a large population, this is the best solution to many childhood hazards.

Fourth National Incidence Study For Child Abuse And Neglect - Report To Congress (http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/opre/abuse_neglect/natl_incid/nis4_report_congress_full_pdf_jan2010.pdf)

noonwitch
01-29-2010, 01:56 PM
Of course, it is best for kids to be with their married, biological parents.

But when there are children and the parents are either not available or unable to parent, the next best things start coming into play.

Gingersnap
01-29-2010, 02:40 PM
Of course, it is best for kids to be with their married, biological parents.

But when there are children and the parents are either not available or unable to parent, the next best things start coming into play.

The problem right now is that a lot of women aren't thinking of even trying the kids-within-marriage thing. :(

linda22003
01-29-2010, 02:43 PM
The problem right now is that a lot of women aren't thinking of even trying the kids-within-marriage thing. :(

That probably has a correlation to the quality of the men.

Gingersnap
01-29-2010, 03:00 PM
That probably has a correlation to the quality of the men.

Doubtful. It's more a commentary on the unrealistic visions of sex and romance that a lot of women have today. Men are pretty impervious to Oprah-style aspirations. They generally don't actually expect their wives to look like Page Three girls, earn like hedge fund managers, and put up with 24/7 bitchiness.

A lot of women, however, expect pretty much that deal in terms of a husband. He has to look a certain way, make a pile of money, and be completely passive in the face of any irrational behavior on the part of the wife.

Since this magical creature doesn't exist, a lot of women keep waiting and they meanwhile have children with random "almost Mr. Rights". It's a sad situation.

linda22003
01-29-2010, 03:04 PM
Well, I didn't have unrealistic expectations, and I have a great guy.

Ironically, a big reason for our happiness is probably NOT having children. :p

RobJohnson
01-29-2010, 03:08 PM
Well, I didn't have unrealistic expectations, and I have a great guy.

Ironically, a big reason for our happiness is probably NOT having children. :p

The key to happiness is no children. :D

noonwitch
01-29-2010, 04:24 PM
The problem right now is that a lot of women aren't thinking of even trying the kids-within-marriage thing. :(



I know. I see it every day. Even my 22 year old cousin, who is now a father, isn't married to the mother. I give him a hard time about it every time I see him. I tell him that my brother can perform the wedding for free, and we probably wouldn't have to pay much to use my church, plus, my church had sign language interpreters for the deaf people in his family.

I work the girlfriend, and tell her the same thing. You guys have a kid. You love each other. Get married!

CaughtintheMiddle1990
01-29-2010, 05:28 PM
I know I would've been better off had my dad not been there, and my sisters were better off without their dad being there as he was a Heroin addict--my mom left him after discovering what he was and he never bothered with them, not a single call or letter; he died at 35, possibly of an overdose, and even while in the Hospital didn't bother to call them or see them, even though the hospital he was in was only a few blocks away from where my mother and sisters happened to be living at the time.

My sisters grew up to be relatively stable and both without any substance abuse problems, or any interest in taking substance; meanwhile, their half sister who did grow up with their father has major alcohol and depression issues, and their half brother who also grew up with their father has drug problems and landed in jail. Neither of my sisters have ever had a drug problem, neither do they have any interest in doing drugs, in fact the younger of my two sisters is very anti drug, and never once were either arrested.

So really, while overall married biological parents is probably the best thing, in many individual cases, it isn't.

FlaGator
01-29-2010, 07:23 PM
Well, I didn't have unrealistic expectations, and I have a great guy.

Ironically, a big reason for our happiness is probably NOT having children. :p

But since you don't have children, how do you know that the relationship wouldn't have been enhanced with a kid or two?

linda22003
01-29-2010, 07:32 PM
But since you don't have children, how do you know that the relationship wouldn't have been enhanced with a kid or two?

Probably the fact that I have never for an instant regretted the decision. Also, people tend to make a point of telling you when they regret having done so - not when they're happy they did. :o