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Rebel Yell
03-15-2010, 02:08 PM
If suddenly other members of CU died, and you were the only one to decide what would go on their headstones, what would you decide?



I always think of pretty good day threads after I've done a shitty one, but forget them by next Monday.


Here lies Caughtinthe Middle.

" What do conservatives feel were the repercussions of my last decision."

Here lies Linda#'s

"Dis is juss lyke beeing in hail. They're I sed it."

Articulate_Ape
03-15-2010, 02:29 PM
Below this stone in a pine box,
Lies a fellow named BadCat,
Wearing nothing but socks.

megimoo
03-15-2010, 02:34 PM
Below this stone in a pine box,
Lies a fellow named BadCat,
Wearing nothing but his Hat.Fixed !

linda22003
03-15-2010, 04:00 PM
Here lies Linda#'s

"Dis is juss lyke beeing in hail. They're I sed it."

So you want me SPINNING in my grave. :cool::D

linda22003
03-15-2010, 04:02 PM
"Hain't much of a chainge from what I'm useter."
- Rebel Yell

FlaGator
03-15-2010, 04:14 PM
wilbur died a bit too soon
one breezy, sunny afternoon
now he shovels coal all day
an atheist who got his way.

Megaguns91
03-15-2010, 04:27 PM
Here lies Wei Wu Wei...

Yup.

megimoo
03-15-2010, 04:27 PM
wilbur died a bit too soon
one breezy, sunny afternoon
now he shovels coal all day
an atheist who got his way.
Wilbur Denied till his dying day with his wish that GOD would go away now he has his GOD in Sight he begs that He will Make things Right .

Articulate_Ape
03-15-2010, 04:41 PM
Here lies Wilbur beneath the dew,
No longer producing CO2.
He froze to death one summer day,
Waiting for AGW to come his way.

Megaguns91
03-15-2010, 04:56 PM
Here lies Wilbur,
The portley Pig.
All boxed up
In his coffin rig.
Under the dirt,
His bones do lay.
If he were smarter,
We'd have let him stay!

Zafod
03-15-2010, 05:04 PM
hahahaha these are GREAT!!

megimoo
03-15-2010, 05:47 PM
When Wilbur sheds his mortal coil his legacy will have be in vain, His God will forgive his empty toil and welcome him still all the same !

The Hound of Heaven

I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears

I hid from Him, and under running laughter.
Up vistaed hopes I sped;
And shot, precipitated,
Adown Titanic glooms of chasmed fears,

From those strong Feet that followed, followed after.
But with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbèd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
They beat--and a Voice beat
More instant than the Feet--
"All things betray thee, who betrayest Me."

I pleaded, outlaw-wise,
By many a hearted casement, curtained red,
Trellised with intertwining charities
(For, though I knew His love Who followed,
Yet was I sore adread

Lest having Him, I must have naught beside);
But if one little casement parted wide,
The gust of His approach would clash it to.
Fear wist not to evade, as Love wist to pursue.
Across the margent of the world I fled,

And troubled the gold gateways of the stars,
Smiting for shelter on their clanged bars;
Fretted to dulcet jars
And silvern chatter the pale ports o' the moon.
I said to dawn, Be sudden; to eve, Be soon;
With thy young skyey blossoms heap me over
From this tremendous Lover!

Float thy vague veil about me, lest He see!
I tempted all His servitors, but to find
My own betrayal in their constancy,
In faith to Him their fickleness to me,
Their traitorous trueness, and their loyal deceit.
To all swift things for swiftness did I sue;

Clung to the whistling mane of every wind.
But whether they swept, smoothly fleet,
The long savannahs of the blue;
Or whether, Thunder-driven,
They clanged his chariot 'thwart a heaven
Plashy with flying lightnings round the spurn o' their feet--

Still with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbèd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
Came on the following Feet,
And a Voice above their beat--
"Naught shelters thee, who wilt not shelter Me."

I sought no more that after which I strayed
In face of man or maid;

But still within the little children's eyes
Seems something, something that replies;
They at least are for me, surely for me!
I turned me to them very wistfully;
But, just as their young eyes grew sudden fair
With dawning answers there,

Their angel plucked them from me by the hair.
"Come then, ye other children, Nature's--share
With me," said I, "your delicate fellowship;

Let me greet you lip to lip,
Let me twine with you caresses,
Wantoning
With our Lady-Mother's vagrant tresses'
Banqueting
With her in her wind-walled palace,
Underneath her azured daïs,
Quaffing, as your taintless way is,
From a chalice
Lucent-weeping out of the dayspring."

So it was done;
I in their delicate fellowship was one--
Drew the bolt of Nature's secrecies.
I knew all the swift importings
On the wilful face of skies;
I knew how the clouds arise
Spumèd of the wild sea-snortings;
All that's born or dies
Rose and drooped with--made them shapers

Of mine own moods, or wailful or divine--
With them joyed and was bereaven.
I was heavy with the even,
When she lit her glimmering tapers
Round the day's dead sanctities.
I laughed in the morning's eyes.

I triumphed and I saddened with all weather,
Heaven and I wept together,
And its sweet tears were salt with mortal mine;
Against the red throb of its sunset-heart
I laid my own to beat,
And share commingling heat;

But not by that, by that, was eased my human smart.
In vain my tears were wet on Heaven's gray cheek.
For ah! we know not what each other says,
These things and I; in sound I speak--
Their sound is but their stir, they speak by silences.
Nature, poor stepdame, cannot slake my drouth;
Let her, if she would owe me,

Drop yon blue bosom-veil of sky, and show me
The breasts of her tenderness;
Never did any milk of hers once bless
My thirsting mouth.

Nigh and nigh draws the chase,
With unperturbèd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy;
And past those noisèd Feet
A voice comes yet more fleet--
"Lo naught contents thee, who content'st not Me."

Naked I wait Thy love's uplifted stroke!
My harness piece by piece Thou hast hewn from me,
And smitten me to my knee;
I am defenseless utterly.
I slept, methinks, and woke,

And, slowly gazing, find me stripped in sleep.
In the rash lustihead of my young powers,
I shook the pillaring hours
And pulled my life upon me; grimed with smears,
I stand amid the dust o' the mounded years--
My mangled youth lies dead beneath the heap.

My days have crackled and gone up in smoke,
Have puffed and burst as sun-starts on a stream.
Yea, faileth now even dream
The dreamer, and the lute the lutanist;

Even the linked fantasies, in whose blossomy twist
I swung the earth a trinket at my wrist,
Are yielding; cords of all too weak account
For earth with heavy griefs so overplussed.
Ah! is Thy love indeed
A weed, albeit amaranthine weed,

Suffering no flowers except its own to mount?
Ah! must--
Designer infinite!--
Ah! must Thou char the wood ere Thou canst limn with it?
My freshness spent its wavering shower i' the dust;
And now my heart is a broken fount,
Wherein tear-drippings stagnate, spilt down ever
From the dank thoughts that shiver
Upon the sighful branches of my mind.
Such is; what is to be?

The pulp so bitter, how shall taste the rind?
I dimly guess what Time in mist confounds;
Yet ever and anon a trumpet sounds
From the hid battlements of Eternity;

Those shaken mists a space unsettle, then
But not ere him who summoneth
I first have seen, enwound
With blooming robes, purpureal, cypress-crowned;
His name I know, and what his trumpet saith.
Whether man's heart or life it be which yields
Thee harvest, must Thy harvest fields
Be dunged with rotten death?

Now of that long pursuit
Comes on at hand the bruit;
That Voice is round me like a bursting sea:
"And is thy earth so marred,
Shattered in shard on shard?

Lo, all things fly thee, for thou fliest Me!
Strange, piteous, futile thing,
Wherefore should any set thee love apart?
Seeing none but I makes much of naught," He said,
"And human love needs human meriting,

How hast thou merited--
Of all man's clotted clay rhe dingiest clot?
Alack, thou knowest not
How little worthy of any love thou art!
Whom wilt thou find to love ignoble thee
Save Me, save only Me?

All which I took from thee I did but take,
Not for thy harms.
But just that thou might'st seek it in my arms.
All which thy child's mistake
Fancies as lost, I have stored for the at home;
Rise, clasp My hand, and come!"

Halts by me that footfall;
Is my gloom, after all,
Shade of His hand, outstreched caressingly?
"Ah, fondest, blindest, weakest,
I am He Whom thou seekest!
Thou dravest love from thee, who dravest Me."

Francis Thompson (1859-1907)

FlaGator
03-15-2010, 05:54 PM
I didn't realize this was a jump on wilbur thread... how about a new victi... dearly departed.

SR ruled with his force choke
Banning many a cheesy bloke
Proving gluttony is a sin
Too much bacon did him in

Articulate_Ape
03-15-2010, 05:56 PM
I think we're gonna need a bigger block of granite.

Rockntractor
03-15-2010, 06:16 PM
Here stands Policon on his head. You can kiss my ass now that I'm dead!

Rockntractor
03-15-2010, 06:20 PM
Here lies Gingersnap under a barrel, full of Clorox so she'll stay sterile.

Rockntractor
03-15-2010, 06:29 PM
Here lies Patriot . Twas a sad day he left our domain, some of his chicken contained ptomaine.

Articulate_Ape
03-15-2010, 06:32 PM
Here lies Rockntractor in a crate,
Because his insurance wasn't great.
We cut him up for it wasn't big,
But that's what you do with slaughtered pig.

Rockntractor
03-15-2010, 06:33 PM
Within this ground beneath this granite lies Sarasota from a different planet.

Sonnabend
03-15-2010, 06:38 PM
Beneath this earth lies FlaGator
He ate some beef and a bad potater
'twas not the beef that was a sin
'twas vegetables that did him in.

Articulate_Ape
03-15-2010, 06:45 PM
Here lies Apache's funeral pyre.
Where we burned his ass when he expired.
We were all so sad to see him go,
Not just him, but his camel toe.

megimoo
03-15-2010, 07:10 PM
I didn't realize this was a jump on wilbur thread... how about a new victi... dearly departed.

SR ruled with his force choke
Banning many a cheesy bloke
Proving gluttony is a sin
Too much bacon did him inYou initially selected the victim .
But if you so direct will will pile on your master.

An Ode to Loyalty:
Our leader with a mighty stroke has banned from us all feckless folk his claim impartial to end Has driven Gator from his den .

His pride now wounded will not pain from those who offer more disdain I morn his absence from the fold and miss his wisdom from on old.His hatred's all is masking pain for his lost comrade's fallen slain.

His anger blazes they who dispute who would fault his words of truth.His words to some are harsh and boast But I for one fathom the most.He will not stop till his dying day his loyalty,his fault, always on display.He morns his lost among the most his fallen comrade's his only boast .

His love he shows for all to see his friends his shipmates lost at sea .A man who loves his fallen friends will always suffer to the end .

GOD knows the souls men and always loves them offers mend .He sees the nobility of friend and understands the loss of loyal men.

Rockntractor
03-15-2010, 07:10 PM
Articulate_Ape; The debate did rage that fateful day when Badcat blew his shit away.

Sonnabend
03-15-2010, 07:33 PM
Herein lies the RocknTractor
Fell into a trash compactor
They found his wallet and his hat
He's feeling sad and rather flat.

Sonnabend
03-15-2010, 07:39 PM
Here now is megimoo's last residence
At long long last
He's making sense.

:D:D

Sonnabend
03-15-2010, 07:42 PM
In this tomb lies CU's Ape
Had too much of the evil grape
Got in his car with his merry manner
And wound up as a steel banana.

Sonnabend
03-15-2010, 07:45 PM
Pause now stranger, at the tomb of Gator
Said to his wife "I'll see ya later"
Got too drunk on wine and Bailey's
And said "fuck you" to an Israeli :D

Sonnabend
03-15-2010, 07:46 PM
Here rests a happy Hampshirebrit
Went too fast
And that was it :D

Sonnabend
03-15-2010, 07:50 PM
Here rests the happy hippy Wilbur
Died in his sleep whilst reading Plimer
He liked to argue and debate in private
Now others enjoy the peaceful climate. :D

Rockntractor
03-15-2010, 07:51 PM
Herein lies the RocknTractor
Fell into a trash compactor
They found his wallet and his hat
He's feeling sad and rather flat.

:eek::eek:

Sonnabend
03-15-2010, 07:52 PM
Here rests the NJCardfan
And here's the rub
He followed the Cubs :D

PoliCon
03-15-2010, 07:58 PM
Here lies Wilbur beneath the dew,
No longer producing CO2.
He froze to death one summer day,
Waiting for AGW to come his way.

Oh I like that one! :D

PoliCon
03-15-2010, 07:59 PM
When Wilbur sheds his mortal coil his legacy will have be in vain, His God will forgive his empty toil and welcome him still all the same !

The Hound of Heaven

I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears

I hid from Him, and under running laughter.
Up vistaed hopes I sped;
And shot, precipitated,
Adown Titanic glooms of chasmed fears,

From those strong Feet that followed, followed after.
But with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbèd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
They beat--and a Voice beat
More instant than the Feet--
"All things betray thee, who betrayest Me."

I pleaded, outlaw-wise,
By many a hearted casement, curtained red,
Trellised with intertwining charities
(For, though I knew His love Who followed,
Yet was I sore adread

Lest having Him, I must have naught beside);
But if one little casement parted wide,
The gust of His approach would clash it to.
Fear wist not to evade, as Love wist to pursue.
Across the margent of the world I fled,

And troubled the gold gateways of the stars,
Smiting for shelter on their clanged bars;
Fretted to dulcet jars
And silvern chatter the pale ports o' the moon.
I said to dawn, Be sudden; to eve, Be soon;
With thy young skyey blossoms heap me over
From this tremendous Lover!

Float thy vague veil about me, lest He see!
I tempted all His servitors, but to find
My own betrayal in their constancy,
In faith to Him their fickleness to me,
Their traitorous trueness, and their loyal deceit.
To all swift things for swiftness did I sue;

Clung to the whistling mane of every wind.
But whether they swept, smoothly fleet,
The long savannahs of the blue;
Or whether, Thunder-driven,
They clanged his chariot 'thwart a heaven
Plashy with flying lightnings round the spurn o' their feet--

Still with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbèd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
Came on the following Feet,
And a Voice above their beat--
"Naught shelters thee, who wilt not shelter Me."

I sought no more that after which I strayed
In face of man or maid;

But still within the little children's eyes
Seems something, something that replies;
They at least are for me, surely for me!
I turned me to them very wistfully;
But, just as their young eyes grew sudden fair
With dawning answers there,

Their angel plucked them from me by the hair.
"Come then, ye other children, Nature's--share
With me," said I, "your delicate fellowship;

Let me greet you lip to lip,
Let me twine with you caresses,
Wantoning
With our Lady-Mother's vagrant tresses'
Banqueting
With her in her wind-walled palace,
Underneath her azured daïs,
Quaffing, as your taintless way is,
From a chalice
Lucent-weeping out of the dayspring."

So it was done;
I in their delicate fellowship was one--
Drew the bolt of Nature's secrecies.
I knew all the swift importings
On the wilful face of skies;
I knew how the clouds arise
Spumèd of the wild sea-snortings;
All that's born or dies
Rose and drooped with--made them shapers

Of mine own moods, or wailful or divine--
With them joyed and was bereaven.
I was heavy with the even,
When she lit her glimmering tapers
Round the day's dead sanctities.
I laughed in the morning's eyes.

I triumphed and I saddened with all weather,
Heaven and I wept together,
And its sweet tears were salt with mortal mine;
Against the red throb of its sunset-heart
I laid my own to beat,
And share commingling heat;

But not by that, by that, was eased my human smart.
In vain my tears were wet on Heaven's gray cheek.
For ah! we know not what each other says,
These things and I; in sound I speak--
Their sound is but their stir, they speak by silences.
Nature, poor stepdame, cannot slake my drouth;
Let her, if she would owe me,

Drop yon blue bosom-veil of sky, and show me
The breasts of her tenderness;
Never did any milk of hers once bless
My thirsting mouth.

Nigh and nigh draws the chase,
With unperturbèd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy;
And past those noisèd Feet
A voice comes yet more fleet--
"Lo naught contents thee, who content'st not Me."

Naked I wait Thy love's uplifted stroke!
My harness piece by piece Thou hast hewn from me,
And smitten me to my knee;
I am defenseless utterly.
I slept, methinks, and woke,

And, slowly gazing, find me stripped in sleep.
In the rash lustihead of my young powers,
I shook the pillaring hours
And pulled my life upon me; grimed with smears,
I stand amid the dust o' the mounded years--
My mangled youth lies dead beneath the heap.

My days have crackled and gone up in smoke,
Have puffed and burst as sun-starts on a stream.
Yea, faileth now even dream
The dreamer, and the lute the lutanist;

Even the linked fantasies, in whose blossomy twist
I swung the earth a trinket at my wrist,
Are yielding; cords of all too weak account
For earth with heavy griefs so overplussed.
Ah! is Thy love indeed
A weed, albeit amaranthine weed,

Suffering no flowers except its own to mount?
Ah! must--
Designer infinite!--
Ah! must Thou char the wood ere Thou canst limn with it?
My freshness spent its wavering shower i' the dust;
And now my heart is a broken fount,
Wherein tear-drippings stagnate, spilt down ever
From the dank thoughts that shiver
Upon the sighful branches of my mind.
Such is; what is to be?

The pulp so bitter, how shall taste the rind?
I dimly guess what Time in mist confounds;
Yet ever and anon a trumpet sounds
From the hid battlements of Eternity;

Those shaken mists a space unsettle, then
But not ere him who summoneth
I first have seen, enwound
With blooming robes, purpureal, cypress-crowned;
His name I know, and what his trumpet saith.
Whether man's heart or life it be which yields
Thee harvest, must Thy harvest fields
Be dunged with rotten death?

Now of that long pursuit
Comes on at hand the bruit;
That Voice is round me like a bursting sea:
"And is thy earth so marred,
Shattered in shard on shard?

Lo, all things fly thee, for thou fliest Me!
Strange, piteous, futile thing,
Wherefore should any set thee love apart?
Seeing none but I makes much of naught," He said,
"And human love needs human meriting,

How hast thou merited--
Of all man's clotted clay rhe dingiest clot?
Alack, thou knowest not
How little worthy of any love thou art!
Whom wilt thou find to love ignoble thee
Save Me, save only Me?

All which I took from thee I did but take,
Not for thy harms.
But just that thou might'st seek it in my arms.
All which thy child's mistake
Fancies as lost, I have stored for the at home;
Rise, clasp My hand, and come!"

Halts by me that footfall;
Is my gloom, after all,
Shade of His hand, outstreched caressingly?
"Ah, fondest, blindest, weakest,
I am He Whom thou seekest!
Thou dravest love from thee, who dravest Me."

Francis Thompson (1859-1907)

My all time favorite poem. :o

PoliCon
03-15-2010, 08:02 PM
Here now is megimoo's last residence
At long long last
He's making sense.

:D:D

See! There is a God!! ;)

Rockntractor
03-15-2010, 08:02 PM
Here lies RobJohnson so contrite, he screwed the daughter of a knight. When he was asked just why he laid er’ he simply replied he was gladiater.

Articulate_Ape
03-15-2010, 08:02 PM
Here lie the remains of Sonnabend.
Who took it up of the rear end.
Hey, put away your dirty mind,
It was a bus from up behind.

Sonnabend
03-15-2010, 08:16 PM
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing025.gif

FlaGator
03-15-2010, 08:32 PM
Beneath this earth lies FlaGator
He ate some beef and a bad potater
'twas not the beef that was a sin
'twas vegetables that did him in.

:D:D:D

You can't imagine how funny that is. I hate veggies and it's a running joke in my family that if someone ever slipped in some veggies in my food it would probably kill me.

FlaGator
03-15-2010, 08:35 PM
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing025.gif

Your pretty good at this. Perhaps you have a new career in writing epitaphs.

Sonnabend
03-15-2010, 08:51 PM
Nah, changing careers this close to fifty would be a grave mistake.

Rockntractor
03-15-2010, 08:55 PM
Nah, changing careers this close to fifty would be a grave mistake.
When you guys get old down under does everything sag up instead of down?:confused:

Sonnabend
03-15-2010, 09:01 PM
When you guys get old down under does everything sag up instead of down

Nah, to prevent it, we eat more pork :D

Kay
03-15-2010, 09:25 PM
Nah, changing careers this close to fifty would be a grave mistake.

Life begins at 50!
For reals.

PoliCon
03-15-2010, 10:13 PM
Life begins at 50!
For reals.

You mean I need to wait more than 20 more years for life to even start??? NOT FAIR!:mad:

Articulate_Ape
03-15-2010, 10:16 PM
Below lies Kay for she has gone,
To find her heartthrob whose name is Sean.
Unfortunately, and to her surprise,
Old Connery never dies.

patriot45
03-15-2010, 10:20 PM
Here lies Shannon
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.


Here lies Policon
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down.
It was.

Rockntractor
03-15-2010, 10:24 PM
In a box below lies Zafod he went to fast and blew a rod.

Articulate_Ape
03-15-2010, 10:30 PM
Within this vault lies SaintLouieWoman
Who thought that she knew what was doin'.
But figured out way to late,
The awesomeness of Articulate Ape.

Rockntractor
03-15-2010, 10:36 PM
You mean I need to wait more than 20 more years for life to even start??? NOT FAIR!:mad:

Here is your future Poli!
http://i686.photobucket.com/albums/vv230/upyourstruly/15PigUgly.jpg?t=1268710575

Sonnabend
03-15-2010, 10:39 PM
Within this vault lies SaintLouieWoman
Who thought that she knew what was doin'.
She said some rules were just irrelevant.
And lost an argument with an elephant.

Articulate_Ape
03-15-2010, 10:47 PM
Gingersnap, the CU fox,
Ended up inside a box.
Underground and very dead,
But even there she's giving...

lurkalot
03-15-2010, 11:01 PM
Nah, changing careers this close to fifty would be a grave mistake.

ummm your sig line would NOT be popular with somebody I know Uncle B! Dont worry, I won't tell her!;)

lurkalot
03-15-2010, 11:08 PM
Here lies Shannon
torn asunder
six feet wide
and three feet under


:D

Rockntractor
03-15-2010, 11:29 PM
Here lies Shannon
torn asunder
six feet wide
and three feet under


:D

Outstanding!!:D:D

Sonnabend
03-15-2010, 11:31 PM
Here lies lurkalot
She lurked
A lot.

Rockntractor
03-15-2010, 11:40 PM
Here lies sonnabend, how sad it is he reached his end.:(

Sonnabend
03-15-2010, 11:44 PM
Here lies sonnabend, how sad it is he reached his end.

Here lies RocknTractor
Not a dork
But GREAT roast pork :D:D

Rebel Yell
03-16-2010, 08:57 AM
"Hain't much of a chainge from what I'm useter."
- Rebel Yell

For some reason, I read that in the Carl Childers' voice.:D

Gingersnap
03-16-2010, 09:42 AM
Gingersnap, the CU fox,
Ended up inside a box.
Underground and very dead,
But even there she's giving...

In your dreams, Necro Boi. :p

Articulate Ape

Once to these forums and now archived
The virtual life of an Ape arrived
A witty rogue, he spent his time
Posting jokes in insulting rhyme

He feared no jape, no quip, no joke
For in return he’d pry and poke
Insulting every Miss and Mister
Till in shame they all would blister.

His end came sooner than he thought
When in a pic thread he was caught
His monkey face inspired laughter
(Not the quite effect that he was after)

The pic was LOL’d and then reposted
His reputation had been toasted
He lost his post count, friends as well
So now he only texts in Hell.

Sonnabend
03-16-2010, 09:46 AM
Here rests the CU foxy mod.
We never got to see her bod.
Was driving home with Mr Snap
And forgot the ocean on the map.

Zafod
03-16-2010, 11:43 AM
In a box below lies Zafod he went to fast and blew a rod.

thats kinda cool.....

Rebel Yell
03-16-2010, 11:44 AM
thats kinda cool.....

You blew a rod? Dude, that's not cool.

Zafod
03-16-2010, 11:46 AM
You blew a rod? Dude, that's not cool.

Thats how I roll yo!

Rebel Yell
03-16-2010, 11:51 AM
Thats how I roll yo!

My number is (555) 555- 0123.:p

Megaguns91
03-16-2010, 01:52 PM
Here lies Mr. Rebel Yell,
Never could tie his shoes,
So he tripped and fell.
Doctors pronounced him
As good as dead,
After he sustained
That bump on the head.

aerojarod
03-16-2010, 02:11 PM
Here lies resting, Patriot45
One fateful day he took a dive-
His Prius pedal stuck to the floor
Now, co-pilots the Lord forevermore.

Apache
03-16-2010, 02:54 PM
Here lies Apache's funeral pyre.
Where we burned his ass when he expired.
We were all so sad to see him go,
Not just him, but his camel toe.

That was FUNNY!:D

Apache
03-16-2010, 02:55 PM
Life begins at 50!
For reals.

OH, so NOW you believe me? :p

patriot45
03-16-2010, 04:59 PM
Here lies resting, Patriot45
One fateful day he took a dive-
His Prius pedal stuck to the floor
Now, co-pilots the Lord forevermore.

Aaarghhhh! Thats the only way you would catch me in a prius......DEAD!!!!! :D

linda22003
03-16-2010, 05:03 PM
For some reason, I read that in the Carl Childers' voice.:D

I have no idea who that is.

Sonnabend
03-16-2010, 05:09 PM
Here lies Linda2203
Fell out of an apple tree
Was sent to Heaven and then detached to Hell
Because God said Satan couldn't spell.

Space Gravy
03-16-2010, 05:12 PM
I have no idea who that is.

Sling Blade.

Articulate_Ape
03-16-2010, 07:21 PM
Beneath this turf The Night Owl rests,
Having failed the final test,
Upon faith in God he always frowned,
Now he's debating underground.

Articulate_Ape
03-16-2010, 07:30 PM
FlaGator lies beneath this stone,
Because his Father called him home.
But at the Gates he missed his chance,
He'd left his keys in his other pants.

linda22003
03-16-2010, 08:28 PM
Sling Blade.

OK, I saw that movie years ago. Couldn't have told you the character's name, though.

Gingersnap
03-16-2010, 08:31 PM
Here lies Sonna, short of fuse
His paranoia did not amuse

He yipped, he bit, he dug big holes
He frightened all the gentle souls

His bark was bigger than his bite
Until the shelter said, "Good Night".

:D

fettpett
03-16-2010, 09:05 PM
these are great lol

Articulate_Ape
03-16-2010, 09:15 PM
Sarasota lies under here,
Shat the bed without a tear.
A 5 Guys burger was his demise,
But just because he Super-Sized.

Gingersnap
03-16-2010, 09:39 PM
Lacarnut, he drove fast
Left the speed-traps in the past

Tho’ he loved cars in scarlet red
No cedar chips were in his beds

“Just natural”, he cried with glee
That’s the ticket for guys like me!

He got his wish one moonless night
When River Drive had no light

He took the curve at 109
The fish think ’natural’ is plenty fine.

Gingersnap
03-16-2010, 10:09 PM
Noonwitch she was a covert Con
Her social-worker cover was hard won.

She stared down creeps, sluts, and thugs
Who dissed her help, stared at her jugs.

She dealt out Justice, helped the meek
And always let the victims speak.

She won the Lotto one fine day
And evaded all the tax to pay.

She built a church, a bar, a park
And helped the school kids hit their mark.

She lies at rest in snappy clothes
At peace from head right to her toes.

Articulate_Ape
03-16-2010, 10:17 PM
Apocalypse lies below this grass,
After food killed his ass,
Now it's food preservatives,
That sustains this dead conservative.

Gingersnap
03-16-2010, 10:22 PM
Alaskamomma is just so shy
It’s a quick witted poster to give her an eye.

She checks in daily when the days are long
And in the longest night to the Arctic’s Song.

She doesn't say much but she does PM
When a point is made, if you’re not a Dem.

She was almost eaten by a rabid seal
But she lurks here yet; an uneaten meal.

*waves*

:D

Gingersnap
03-16-2010, 10:51 PM
Gingersnap was so darn cheap
She bought red cedar chips to keep.

Her redneck neighbors liked it fine
But latte-sippers loved to whine:

"Too red, too poor, too just-not-us!"
They fell together and made a fuss.

"It just looks fake (like your grass, your pond)"
"We'd make it rip rap, if we had a wand!"

Poor ol' Ginger shook her head
And just went on and mulched that bed.

She noticed that those folks would chill
When they ate a burger with beer to swill. :p

NB: out here the "red kind" is more expensive than the natural litter. ;)

patriot45
03-16-2010, 10:54 PM
Gingersnap was so darn cheap
She bought red cedar chips to keep.

Her redneck neighbors liked it fine
But latte-sippers loved to whine:

"Too red, too poor, too just-not-us!"
They fell together and made a fuss.

"It just looks fake (like your grass, your pond)"
"We'd make it rip rap, if we had a wand!"

Poor ol' Ginger shook her head
And just went on and mulched that bed.

She noticed that those folks would chill
When they ate a burger with beer to swill. :p

NB: out here the "red kind" is more expensive than the natural litter. ;)

That would be a BIG tombstone!
All I want is:

I told you I was sick!
:D

Gingersnap
03-16-2010, 11:23 PM
That would be a BIG tombstone!
All I want is:

I told you I was sick!
:D

Pat 45 was a good old boy,
He worked the whole day hard.

He Rachel Ray'd his grub at dusk
And loved to use that lard.

One fateful eve he cleaned some crawdads,
Sweet they were, and fat.

He mentioned that he felt some off -
he died and that was that.

Articulate_Ape
03-17-2010, 12:56 AM
http://i531.photobucket.com/albums/dd359/JamesSavant/golden_thread.jpg

Sonnabend
03-17-2010, 06:45 AM
Here sleeps old man Megimoo
He had too much to drink
We looked for his self made epitaph
Alas, there was no link :D

lacarnut
03-17-2010, 12:01 PM
Lacarnut, he drove fast
Left the speed-traps in the past

Tho’ he loved cars in scarlet red
No cedar chips were in his beds

“Just natural”, he cried with glee
That’s the ticket for guys like me!

He got his wish one moonless night
When River Drive had no light

He took the curve at 109
The fish think ’natural’ is plenty fine.

Cool. I want it fast and quick

Apache
03-17-2010, 12:15 PM
Cool. I want it fast and quick

Your wife/girlfriend must love you...:rolleyes:







:p

Megaguns91
03-17-2010, 12:29 PM
Here rests Gingersnap,
Under this lovely gold mulch.


:D

Rockntractor
03-17-2010, 12:49 PM
To buy some shoes she went that day, beneath the store the ground gave way, into a pit she tumbled down with pumps and sandals all around, Tis’ sad she left the earth that way but in this pit she’ll always stay. Shannon would want it this way!

Gingersnap
03-17-2010, 12:50 PM
Mega Gun, Ninety-One
Went to the range where she had fun.

With the RO near,
She thought the lane was clear.

Bang!


:p

ralph wiggum
03-17-2010, 12:54 PM
This is even better than the mulch thread. :D

Megaguns91
03-17-2010, 01:11 PM
Mega Gun, Ninety-One
Went to the range where she had fun.

With the RO near,
She thought the lane was clear.

Bang!


:p

Knowing my luck this is more of a prediction than anything. :eek:

Gingersnap
03-17-2010, 01:31 PM
Knowing my luck this is more of a prediction than anything. :eek:

Don't worry - we've established that I'm not psychic.

Now, "psychotic"....well, that's a whole different thing. :cool:

Articulate_Ape
03-17-2010, 01:40 PM
Don't worry - we've established that I'm not psychic.

Now, "psychotic"....well, that's a whole different thing. :cool:


I knew you were gonna say that.

megimoo
03-17-2010, 06:03 PM
Noonwitch she was a covert Con
Her social-worker cover was hard won.

She stared down creeps, sluts, and thugs
Who dissed her help, stared at her jugs.

She dealt out Justice, helped the meek
And always let the victims speak.

She won the Lotto one fine day
And evaded all the tax to pay.

She built a church, a bar, a park
And helped the school kids hit their mark.

She lies at rest in snappy clothes
At peace from head right to her toes.You should work her green dress into that one.

megimoo
03-17-2010, 07:24 PM
Here lies Poli slow to think fearful of a lack of link .
Quick to fault and slow to grace he'll bitch and moan to make his case.

His subject posted sure to please while venom flows with greatest ease.
His comments odd and out of place much telling of a lack of grace.

He fauns the mighty with such gall while slights he the fairest of us all.
A small man and in such pain who's sure to fault more to complain.

He's at his rest and silent still here he lies just beyond yon hill.
He'll rise one day to heavens door and pity Peter for the bore .:D

Rockntractor
03-17-2010, 07:29 PM
Here lies Poli slow to think fearful of a lack of link .
Quick to fault and slow to grace he'll bitch and moan to make his case.

His subject posted sure to please while venom flows with greatest ease.
His comments odd and out of place much telling of a lack of grace.

He fauns the mighty with such gall while slights he the fairest of us all.
A small man and in such pain who's sure to fault more to complain.

He's at his rest and silent still here he lies just beyond yon hill.
He'll rise one day to heavens door and pity Peter for the bore .:D

Snicker snicker.:D

stsinner
03-17-2010, 07:52 PM
Here lies Poli slow to think fearful of a lack of link .
Quick to fault and slow to grace he'll bitch and moan to make his case.

His subject posted sure to please while venom flows with greatest ease.
His comments odd and out of place much telling of a lack of grace.

He fauns the mighty with such gall while slights he the fairest of us all.
A small man and in such pain who's sure to fault more to complain.

He's at his rest and silent still here he lies just beyond yon hill.
He'll rise one day to heavens door and pity Peter for the bore .:D

Bravo.. Nice one. I'm waiting on mine, and with StSinner, I'm hoping will include something about, "in 'er." LoL...

Rockntractor
03-17-2010, 08:15 PM
Bravo.. Nice one. I'm waiting on mine, and with StSinner, I'm hoping will include something about, "in 'er." LoL...

Beneath this soil looking up lays Stsinner what a schmuck. Twas burning crosses one Sunday morn and did not know his sheet was torn. The dancing flames did light the fray and roasted Stsinner done that day.


Nothing personal, poetic license!:D

Rockntractor
03-17-2010, 08:26 PM
Wilbur Wilbur what a fruit was eating beans and let a toot. Twas cold and damp that day in May and by the fire he did stay. When the flames met his long fart it blew his asshole clean apart!

Articulate_Ape
03-17-2010, 08:32 PM
Here rest the remains of PoliCon,
Once alive, but now he's gone.
He couldn't open his meds in time,
And the reason is a bitter crime,
Though the bottle was next to 'teach',
The lid was so high he couldn't reach.

Rockntractor
03-17-2010, 08:33 PM
Megaguns had little buns but on the top was heavy, when she leaned forward to catch fish she fell into the levy.

patriot45
03-17-2010, 08:50 PM
Here lies the Rock
A hard man to knock
but you don't turn your back
on a goat named Jack
or you're likely to get
killed by your pet

lacarnut
03-17-2010, 09:13 PM
Wilbur Wilbur what a fruit was eating beans and let a toot. Twas cold and damp that day in May and by the fire he did stay. When the flames met his long fart it blew his asshole clean apart!

:):):)

Rockntractor
03-17-2010, 09:14 PM
Waiter waiter said Flagator why’s my soup so cold and bland. The waiter cried our stove has died and choked him with his hand.

Articulate_Ape
03-17-2010, 09:19 PM
Rockntractor, though porcine,
Liked to imbibe him some cheap wine.
So now this shoat has left the scene,
Death sucked him up with a tractor beam.

patriot45
03-17-2010, 09:25 PM
Bubba be Done
He always had fun
Worshipping the Dude
and never too lewd
spandex and biking
he died like a Viking
when struck by lightning

Rockntractor
03-17-2010, 09:45 PM
Bubba the dawg wanted a hawg to ride down the mountain he stepped on the brake but hit the lake and ran into the fountain.

Megaguns91
03-18-2010, 12:32 AM
Megaguns had little buns but on the top was heavy, when she leaned forward to catch fish she fell into the levy.

hahahahahahaha. I almost spit water all over my new laptop!

Bubba Dawg
03-18-2010, 07:42 PM
Bubba be Done
He always had fun
Worshipping the Dude
and never too lewd
spandex and biking
he died like a Viking
when struck by lightning

Nice. We should resurrect this thread in case some missed it. :D

Bubba Dawg
03-18-2010, 07:43 PM
Bubba the dawg wanted a hawg to ride down the mountain he stepped on the brake but hit the lake and ran into the fountain.

Nice. :D

RobJohnson
03-19-2010, 05:05 AM
Here lies RobJohnson so contrite, he screwed the daughter of a knight. When he was asked just why he laid er’ he simply replied he was gladiater.


:eek::p