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CaughtintheMiddle1990
04-10-2010, 06:06 PM
Am I the only one who sees the idea of Alimony as completely unfair? Well maybe not completely unfair..I don't know. I support child support 100% but the idea of also supporting the spouse (especially if there are no children involved) seems a bit too much.

When my grandparents (Mom's parents) broke up (late 1960s), my grandma took my grandpa (who was a WWII vet and already sickly with hypertension, gout and other things) and tried to get every last penny from him. She got a weekly child support check of $35 (which in today's money would be about $800 monthly (He was a Security Guard) plus collected alimony and collected half of his cut also when he and his siblings would sell off his father's properties and lands. She went after him so intensely that the Judge said to her, "You know, he has to live too."

PoliCon
04-10-2010, 06:09 PM
Am I the only one who sees the idea of Alimony as completely unfair? Well maybe not completely unfair..I don't know. I support child support 100% but the idea of also supporting the spouse (especially if there are no children involved) seems a bit too much.

Depends on the situation.

patriot45
04-10-2010, 06:10 PM
Am I the only one who sees the idea of Alimony as completely unfair? Well maybe not completely unfair..I don't know. I support child support 100% but the idea of also supporting the spouse (especially if there are no children involved) seems a bit too much.

Why is grass green? Which way does a road go? Does ice cream have bones? Does a bear shit in the woods?

I really wish you could give me a couple a paragraphs on each! That should keep you busy for a while.

coach
04-10-2010, 06:11 PM
All depends on the circumstances IMO.

Take the girl down the street, hubby got caught thinking with the small head while she was preggers with #2. That's costing him and it should. Vows are vows.

No fault ? Then both walk away.

PoliCon
04-10-2010, 06:13 PM
No fault ? No such thing.

lurkalot
04-10-2010, 07:40 PM
I think Alimony had its time and place. There was a time when career options for women, especially women with children were just not available. Now I really don't see much reason for alimony. I think in the case of the wife working to put the husband through college and putting her own education on the back burner might present a case for the husband to now do the same for his ex until she has career skills or the ability to support herself. Other than that... :rolleyes:

FlaGator
04-10-2010, 07:59 PM
Just for lurky

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_E-QOimQgi8

lurkalot
04-10-2010, 09:56 PM
I Love It!

Kay
04-10-2010, 10:04 PM
OMG my sides hurt from that video. Weird Al is hilarious.
I know someone going through a divorce right now that will love it.

Apocalypse
04-10-2010, 10:10 PM
No such thing.

Live here in Iowa. The majority of divorces are labeled as No Fault. A co-worker of mine ended her marriage after 15+ years because he was doing drugs and cheating on her. It was labeled as No Fault Divorce. Did a little online search to see if there were any thing to help her with support. Iowa basically, is a No Fault Divorce state. It did have an older law that list impotence as the only grounds for a 'Fault Divorce'. But the impression I got was it wasn't enforced.

noonwitch
04-12-2010, 09:35 AM
My dad was supposed to pay my mom alimony for 5 years after the divorce, and cover her medical insurance for that period. He stopped after about 3, and he knew she didn't have enough money to pay a lawyer to take him back to court.

On the other hand, their assets were also split in half at the time of the divorce-he got to keep his business, and she got the house, and he made sure she got a good price for it when she sold it (although she continually bitched while they were selling it about how she just wanted to sell it- but by being stubborn and not taking the first offer, he got her an extra $35,000 in the selling price).


I don't think alimony is needed most of the time, but there are always exceptions. If a woman sacrificed her own career to work so her husband could go to med school or law school, she should get some kind of compensation, especially if the husband is trading her in for a new model.

FlaGator
04-12-2010, 10:39 AM
OMG my sides hurt from that video. Weird Al is hilarious.
I know someone going through a divorce right now that will love it.

I have found that Weird Al has a song for just about every situation.

djones520
04-12-2010, 10:41 AM
I have found that Weird Al has a song for just about every situation.

Yeah, I've always loves his work. Especially when he mocks gangster rap, like Amish Paradise.

Rebel Yell
04-12-2010, 10:42 AM
If a woman gets married, stays at home, raises the kids and keeps house, the husband should have to pay alimony for a period of time to allow her to get on her feet. If both have jobs outside the home, then no one should be paying the other a damn thing.

marv
04-12-2010, 10:50 AM
When I divorced my first wife after eleven years, I quit claimed the house to her so she could learn what it takes to make payments. I knew I could always get another. She remarried three or four times afterwards. Enough said about that!

I kicked my second wife out after four years, refinanced that next house, and split the difference with her.

Never any alimony.

FlaGator
04-12-2010, 11:19 AM
Yeah, I've always loves his work. Especially when he mocks gangster rap, like Amish Paradise.

My two favorite Weird Al tunes are 'Amish Paradise' and 'The Saga Begins' (the Star Wars Episode 1 version of 'American Pie').

Articulate_Ape
04-12-2010, 11:56 AM
According to my two son's from my first marriage, the child support I paid my ex ended up being alimony.

PoliCon
04-12-2010, 12:11 PM
People should learn how to make wise choices and the definition of commitment. That being said - the injured party should be compensated when there is reason for divorce.

Zathras
04-12-2010, 12:38 PM
Yeah, I've always loves his work. Especially when he mocks gangster rap, like Amish Paradise.

I've been a fan of his pretty much since the start of his career. In fact he has a new album coming out soon and will be going on tour later this year.

noonwitch
04-12-2010, 01:39 PM
According to my two son's from my first marriage, the child support I paid my ex ended up being alimony.


Things are a little better now-if a non-custodial parent wants an accounting of how the child support money is spent, he can ask the court to audit the other parent. The court won't do it to harrass the custodial parent, but if there is a legitimate question brought up, especially if the kid(s) brings it up, the court will investigate.

fettpett
04-12-2010, 02:53 PM
My two favorite Weird Al tunes are 'Amish Paradise' and 'The Saga Begins' (the Star Wars Episode 1 version of 'American Pie').

HAHA, my favorite ones too! along with Albuquerque.

Personally, If the wife stayed home with the kids, than she deserves some support till either the kids are grown or she finds work, then it should shift to child support only. I also feel that the recipient of the child support should be made to show EXACTLY what the Child support is going for in the form of receipts and utility bills. There are many women that take advantage and use the child support for things that aren't necessary.

My mother-in-law has had to pay back child support to my father in law since after my wife and i got married on her and her sister. She is STILL paying on it, even though He NEVER needed the money and is only doing it to get back at her for divorcing her. Also he was good friends with the Judge and my mother in law never stood a chance at getting either girl at custody time.

fettpett
04-12-2010, 02:55 PM
Things are a little better now-if a non-custodial parent wants an accounting of how the child support money is spent, he can ask the court to audit the other parent. The court won't do it to harrass the custodial parent, but if there is a legitimate question brought up, especially if the kid(s) brings it up, the court will investigate.

um...how good are they in MI when the other parent lives out of State (in my last post, my father in law moved to WI and still lives there)

NJCardFan
04-12-2010, 05:40 PM
People should learn how to make wise choices and the definition of commitment. That being said - the injured party should be compensated when there is reason for divorce.

So, I take it that I'm the exception to the rule? My wife booted me out for another guy who got her pregnant and engage to her even before our first court date yet the judge dipped me in pork fat and roasted me over a spit. Not only did I have to pay her monthly, but she got 98% of everything in the house. I got a 13" TV, my truck, and my clothes. And I've never violated my vows. In that marriage or the one I'm in now. The bitch of it is that we lived together for 4 years before we got married yet were together in the same house as man and wife for a little over 18 months.

Phillygirl
04-12-2010, 06:37 PM
Alimony does not necessarily have anything to do with what the grounds for a divorce are. Most states are no-fault in terms of obtaining a divorce, although some still retain the fault aspect, but they are rarely used.

Alimony is a remedy separate and apart from division of assets. Every state is different in terms of when alimony is applicable, and it usually has to do with the earnings or earning potential of the individual spouses. Some states have guidelines that determine this...e.g. a certain percentage and a certain length of time based on the earnings/earning capacities of the parties and the length of the marriage at issue.

Generally, fault by the party who would be the recipient of alimony may come into play as a defense to alimony, but it is rarely, if ever, relevant with regards to the payor spouse.

Articulate_Ape
04-12-2010, 06:41 PM
Things are a little better now-if a non-custodial parent wants an accounting of how the child support money is spent, he can ask the court to audit the other parent. The court won't do it to harrass the custodial parent, but if there is a legitimate question brought up, especially if the kid(s) brings it up, the court will investigate.

That's good to hear. My sons are all grown up now with the youngest (my step-son) graduating college next month. I have a great relationship with all of them despite my ex's every attempt to ruin it. I am glad to see that at least some courts are aware of such abuses.

MrsSmith
04-12-2010, 09:27 PM
So, I take it that I'm the exception to the rule? My wife booted me out for another guy who got her pregnant and engage to her even before our first court date yet the judge dipped me in pork fat and roasted me over a spit. Not only did I have to pay her monthly, but she got 98% of everything in the house. I got a 13" TV, my truck, and my clothes. And I've never violated my vows. In that marriage or the one I'm in now. The bitch of it is that we lived together for 4 years before we got married yet were together in the same house as man and wife for a little over 18 months.

You are no exception...I think most men get royally screwed regardless of who is at fault. My hubby's ex messed around on him, but managed to get alimony for 6 years despite remarrying and got child support ordered that we've since found out was $500 a month too high for his current wages. When I met him, his income was $650 a month after he paid his ex...and out of that he had to pay 1/2 of uncovered medical, 1/2 of all extra curricular stuff (we're talking $200 each kid for church camp and stuff) and 100% of transportation costs to see the kids. Weirdly enough, he ended up filing for bankruptcy. :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Today, according to state figures, the child support is actually OK for his income. (It hasn't changed, though his income has tripled.) However, on top of the same support amount, he is now also ordered to pay 60% of his kid's college education...including her food costs. Which puts him still paying more than double the amount the state formula says he should have to pay for his income. And he still covers 1/2 medical, 1/2 extracurricular everything (though we managed to get out of providing 1/2 the cost of a car) and 100% of all transportation.

What really kills me is that his ex lives in a MUCH nicer, more expensive house, drives a very nice SUV, and, according to her expense statements, spends more money at her hairdresser every month than our house payment. Now, figure that out. :mad:

fettpett
04-12-2010, 09:33 PM
You are no exception...I think most men get royally screwed regardless of who is at fault. My hubby's ex messed around on him, but managed to get alimony for 6 years despite remarrying and got child support ordered that we've since found out was $500 a month too high for his current wages. When I met him, his income was $650 a month after he paid his ex...and out of that he had to pay 1/2 of uncovered medical, 1/2 of all extra curricular stuff (we're talking $200 each kid for church camp and stuff) and 100% of transportation costs to see the kids. Weirdly enough, he ended up filing for bankruptcy. :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Today, according to state figures, the child support is actually OK for his income. (It hasn't changed, though his income has tripled.) However, on top of the same support amount, he is now also ordered to pay 60% of his kid's college education...including her food costs. Which puts him still paying more than double the amount the state formula says he should have to pay for his income. And he still covers 1/2 medical, 1/2 extracurricular everything (though we managed to get out of providing 1/2 the cost of a car) and 100% of all transportation.

What really kills me is that his ex lives in a MUCH nicer, more expensive house, drives a very nice SUV, and, according to her expense statements, spends more money at her hairdresser every month than our house payment. Now, figure that out. :mad:

sounds like it's time to get a new lawyer and try and get some of that fixed