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View Full Version : The downside of 'friends with benefits'



RobJohnson
04-15-2010, 09:55 AM
(CNN) -- When Jennifer Nicholas sees television shows or movies where characters "hook up" or have sex with "friends with benefits," she cringes, because that's how she got herpes.

"Getting an STD wasn't even something that crossed my mind," said Nicholas, 39, who learned that she had herpes at age 22. "One day I'm at the doctor's office and it was, 'Surprise! You've got herpes.' "

MORE (http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/04/15/friends.benefits.stds/index.html?eref=igoogle_cnn)

Not really shocking news but the 1 in 4 ratios are pretty scary to us single guys that "date" more then 4 girls a year.... :eek::)

marv
04-15-2010, 09:59 AM
MORE (http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/04/15/friends.benefits.stds/index.html?eref=igoogle_cnn)

Not really shocking news but the 1 in 4 ratios are pretty scary to us single guys that "date" more then 4 girls a year.... :eek::)
The 17th law of the Universe: "Ya wanna play, ya gotta pay."

The 18th law of the Universe: "Ya bought the ticket. Now ya gotta take the ride."

Gingersnap
04-15-2010, 10:31 AM
Getting a disease is pretty awful (especially for women) but the emotional carnage that these hook-ups cause a lot of women is even worse.

I've known too many women who wasted a huge amount of time partying and sleeping around for years and years. Then they suddenly want the whole husband/child/house thing. Unfortunately, the kind of guys they consider suitable are already involved. Worse yet, if a suitable guy isn't attached but he has known the woman for any length of time, he's less likely to consider her suitable. There are party girls and there are potential spouses but there isn't always a lot of overlap there. :(

ralph wiggum
04-15-2010, 11:06 AM
I've known too many women who wasted a huge amount of time partying and sleeping around for years and years. Then they suddenly want the whole husband/child/house thing. Unfortunately, the kind of guys they consider suitable are already involved. Worse yet, if a suitable guy isn't attached but he has known the woman for any length of time, he's less likely to consider her suitable. There are party girls and there are potential spouses but there isn't always a lot of overlap there. :(

Hey, how did you happen to meet a bunch of my female friends? :D

noonwitch
04-15-2010, 11:28 AM
Getting a disease is pretty awful (especially for women) but the emotional carnage that these hook-ups cause a lot of women is even worse.

I've known too many women who wasted a huge amount of time partying and sleeping around for years and years. Then they suddenly want the whole husband/child/house thing. Unfortunately, the kind of guys they consider suitable are already involved. Worse yet, if a suitable guy isn't attached but he has known the woman for any length of time, he's less likely to consider her suitable. There are party girls and there are potential spouses but there isn't always a lot of overlap there. :(



One of my coworkers finds herself in that position all the time.

obx
04-15-2010, 11:29 AM
STD's are like peanut butter. Not much good if you don't spread it around.
________
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Kay
04-15-2010, 01:56 PM
There are party girls and there are potential spouses but there isn't always a lot of overlap there. :(

Ditto for the man crop too.

I never slept around, because if I ever got even close my mother's face would appear in a little grey cloud above me with that 'look' and put a damper on everything.
I always thought I had to marry my victims first.

Apache
04-15-2010, 02:13 PM
Ditto for the man crop too.

I never slept around, because if I ever got even close my mother's face would appear in a little grey cloud above me with that 'look' and put a damper on everything.
I always thought I had to marry my victims first.

Is there something I should know...:eek:







:p

Apache
04-15-2010, 02:16 PM
Almost all the females out here are the party type... Three are interested, I however, am not. All three have reputations of being doorknobs....:rolleyes:

noonwitch
04-15-2010, 04:18 PM
Ditto for the man crop too.

I never slept around, because if I ever got even close my mother's face would appear in a little grey cloud above me with that 'look' and put a damper on everything.
I always thought I had to marry my victims first.


My mom is crazy about a lot of things, but she gave me pretty good advice about sleeping with men outside of marriage. She told me "every man wants to marry a virgin, but none wants to leave any virgins behind in their past".


She went one further and told me that my dad married her because she was the first girl to say no to him. That was information that I really didn't need to know when I was 13 or 14.

Speedy
04-15-2010, 04:24 PM
In my current situation, I do not mind the "friends with benefits" thing. I am single, too old to really run around much, so I have a friend to stays over sometimes. She is a long time divorcee and we know that for now the way things are it is best for both of us.

CaughtintheMiddle1990
04-15-2010, 04:31 PM
I was going to date this girl and the day before we were supposed to go on a date she told me she had a cold sore on her lips and asked if I ever got them. I'm like...''you realize that's a form of Herpes right.." and she said.."No it isn't" and I'm like, "yes..it is." and she's like "O.O" (which is a shocked face in IM lingo)..all my friends get them and my family." And I'm like '''you're the first person I've known whose gotten one."

lacarnut
04-15-2010, 04:33 PM
I quit drinking and partying nightly in the 80's. Good thing cause herpes came on the scene. Then the stupid pins with I have been tested and not positive.

Rockntractor
04-15-2010, 04:36 PM
I was going to date this girl and the day before we were supposed to go on a date she told me she had a cold sore on her lips and asked if I ever got them. I'm like...''you realize that's a form of Herpes right.." and she said.."No it isn't" and I'm like, "yes..it is." and she's like "O.O" (which is a shocked face in IM lingo)..all my friends get them and my family." And I'm like '''you're the first person I've known whose gotten one."
Chicken pox is herpes too but is not the same as the sexually transmitted type. There are several types of herpes.

CaughtintheMiddle1990
04-15-2010, 04:39 PM
Chicken pox is herpes too but is not the same as the sexually transmitted type. There are several types of herpes.

She said she had chicken pox when she was a kid. I think it's very rare to get chicken pox twice in a lifetime.

Gingersnap
04-15-2010, 04:56 PM
Cold sores are herpes. Kissing somebody with a cold sore would be idiotic. ;)

CaughtintheMiddle1990
04-15-2010, 05:03 PM
Chicken pox is herpes too but is not the same as the sexually transmitted type. There are several types of herpes.


Cold sores are herpes. Kissing somebody with a cold sore would be idiotic. ;)

Exactly.

Rockntractor
04-15-2010, 05:40 PM
Cold sores are herpes. Kissing somebody with a cold sore would be idiotic. ;)

I would kiss Jessica Alba with a cold sore!

FlaGator
04-15-2010, 05:56 PM
I would kiss Jessica Alba with a cold sore!

I don't think you have much chance of that happening, with or without your cold sore.

Rockntractor
04-15-2010, 05:58 PM
I don't think you have much chance of that happening, with or without your cold sore.

But but but.........:mad:

Odysseus
04-15-2010, 06:17 PM
One of my coworkers finds herself in that position all the time.

Missionary? :D

fettpett
04-15-2010, 08:29 PM
She said she had chicken pox when she was a kid. I think it's very rare to get chicken pox twice in a lifetime.

you can, it's called shingles



though i've never heard that chicken pox was related to herpes

Megaguns91
04-15-2010, 08:41 PM
you can, it's called shingles



though i've never heard that chicken pox was related to herpes

Chickenpox and Shingles are both a form of herpes family VZV: vericella-zoster virus.

fettpett
04-15-2010, 08:49 PM
Chickenpox and Shingles are both a form of herpes family VZV: vericella-zoster virus.

yeah, it's herpes 3 or 4. I looked it up after i made that post

Rockntractor
04-15-2010, 09:01 PM
Shingles is ebil, worst pain I have ever felt!

CaughtintheMiddle1990
04-15-2010, 09:29 PM
Try Esptein Barr/Mono. That shit you won't even know you have it, but it'll give you a nice case of Hodgkins or MS. Got that from a friend of a friend who knew she had Mono and was active yet was sharing drinks with people and only told us after the fact.

fettpett
04-15-2010, 09:52 PM
Try Esptein Barr/Mono. That shit you won't even know you have it, but it'll give you a nice case of Hodgkins or MS. Got that from a friend of a friend who knew she had Mono and was active yet was sharing drinks with people and only told us after the fact.

I've had Mono, sucks ass:mad: got it while visiting my wife when we were dating...little snot didn't get it

Gingersnap
04-15-2010, 10:12 PM
Try Esptein Barr/Mono. That shit you won't even know you have it, but it'll give you a nice case of Hodgkin's or MS. Got that from a friend of a friend who knew she had Mono and was active yet was sharing drinks with people and only told us after the fact.

What? I've had mono. Hodgkin's lymphoma is poorly a understood cancer. Your odds of contracting MS have much more to do with your location (Scotland, Colorado) than anything else.

Most people who get mono are never diagnosed. I was only diagnosed because my Uncle had it at the same time and both of us were seen by the same doc who bothered to do the tests.

Either way, your odds of getting either disease are vanishingly small in a population of 300 million.

CaughtintheMiddle1990
04-15-2010, 10:34 PM
What? I've had mono. Hodgkin's lymphoma is poorly a understood cancer. Your odds of contracting MS have much more to do with your location (Scotland, Colorado) than anything else.

Most people who get mono are never diagnosed. I was only diagnosed because my Uncle had it at the same time and both of us were seen by the same doc who bothered to do the tests.

Either way, your odds of getting either disease are vanishingly small in a population of 300 million.

MS runs in many family, at least on my mom's side.
I happened to be diagnosed during a run of blood tests and I got a positive Epstein Barr/Mono IgG.

Gingersnap
04-15-2010, 10:48 PM
I happened to be diagnosed during a run of blood tests and I got a positive Epstein Barr/Mono IgG.

You and millions of others if they were tested. I test positive for TB - so what? I don't have it but I was exposed to it (as were thousands of kids who lived on or near reservations).

We're getting way too close to thinking of medical issues as though they were virtues, sins, or karma. They are not. We need to stop thinking so much about the body and spend more time thinking about the mind and the soul.

fettpett
04-15-2010, 11:02 PM
You and millions of others if they were tested. I test positive for TB - so what? I don't have it but I was exposed to it (as were thousands of kids who lived on or near reservations).

We're getting way too close to thinking of medical issues as though they were virtues, sins, or karma. They are not. We need to stop thinking so much about the body and spend more time thinking about the mind and the soul.

We need to think of them not as 3 separate aspects of our selves but as One, everything is tied together. our physical and mental states are affected by our physical, our physical is affected by our mental and spiritual selves.

Kay
04-16-2010, 12:22 AM
Chickenpox and Shingles are both a form of herpes family VZV: vericella-zoster virus.

This is news to me. I never knew that. I had chickenpox as a kid,
and I also get cold sores, rarely but occasionally. OMG! I'ma carrier! :eek:


What? I've had mono. Hodgkin's lymphoma is poorly a understood cancer. Your odds of contracting MS have much more to do with your location (Scotland, Colorado) than anything else.

Now this is something else I've never heard. What does location have to do with?
Is it the cold or the elevation?

noonwitch
04-16-2010, 08:59 AM
What? I've had mono. Hodgkin's lymphoma is poorly a understood cancer. Your odds of contracting MS have much more to do with your location (Scotland, Colorado) than anything else.

Most people who get mono are never diagnosed. I was only diagnosed because my Uncle had it at the same time and both of us were seen by the same doc who bothered to do the tests.

Either way, your odds of getting either disease are vanishingly small in a population of 300 million.


I've read that about MS, too, that there are areas where it is more common than others. I've heard that the Lake Erie coastal area of PA and NY have a lot of MS cases, too. Michigan, to some degree, also. The theory I read had something to do with cold winters and genetic predisposition.

Gingersnap
04-16-2010, 09:36 AM
Now this is something else I've never heard. What does location have to do with?
Is it the cold or the elevation?

No one knows. At first, they thought that Scots ancestry might be a factor but they ruled that out. There are a lot of people who live at high elevations (and we're way higher than Scotland) who aren't more likely to get it.

It's just one of those weird things. :confused:

Megaguns91
04-16-2010, 10:19 AM
This is news to me. I never knew that. I had chickenpox as a kid,
and I also get cold sores, rarely but occasionally. OMG! I'ma carrier! :eek:



Now this is something else I've never heard. What does location have to do with?
Is it the cold or the elevation?

Herpes Simplex 2 is the only herpes you have to worry about. Herpes vericella and herpes zoster do not morph into herpes simplex. Very similar viruses, however, very different....points of the body that they affect.

Let's just say most (90 percent) of people are carriers for coldsore herpes as well as chickenpox/shingles herpes. No biggie. :)