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View Full Version : No hooking up, no sex for some coeds



Gingersnap
04-19-2010, 11:13 AM
No hooking up, no sex for some coeds

By Stephanie Chen, CNN

April 19, 2010 9:07 a.m. EDT

Nashville, Tennessee (CNN) -- Almost every weekend, there is a tradition called raging at Vanderbilt University.

It's a recurring, drunken activity that isn't the proudest moment for student Frannie Boyle. After consuming large quantities of alcohol before a party, her night would sometimes end in making out with a stranger or acquaintance.

Casual hook ups fueled by alcohol may be the norm across college campuses, but Boyle, now a 21-year-old junior at the school, chose to stop. Her reasons to quit hooking up echo the emotional devastation of many college students, particularly girls whose hearts are broken by the hook-up scene.

"I saw it [hooking up] as a way to be recognized and get satisfaction," said Boyle, shaking her blond ponytail. "I felt so empty then."

The hook-up culture on campuses may seem more pervasive than ever, especially as media outlets, books and documentaries rush to dissect the subject, but some college women and men are saying no.

Some, like Boyle, experimented with hooking up and quit. Though she is Catholic, she says her reason for disengaging herself from the hook-up culture had more to do with the unhappiness she experienced afterward. Others influenced by religion have abstained from casual physical activity from the moment they set foot on campus.

The idea of rejecting hook-ups may not be as strange as it sounds in a generation surrounded by sex. Pop star Lady Gaga recently announced she was celibate and encouraged others to follow. In Kelly Clarkson's song "I Don't Hook Up," she addresses the dominant hook-up culture: "I do not hook up, up I go slow, so if you want me I don't come cheap."

The term "hook up" is ambiguous, usually defined as a no-commitment, physical encounter with a stranger or acquaintance. Hooking up can range from just a make-out session all the way to sex. Other lingo for the no-commitment sexual encounters are "booty calls" or "friends with benefits."

Various academic studies have cited at least 75 percent of women have engaged in hooking up on campus, and the number is usually higher for men. The activity is most likely precipitated by alcohol, studies show. Boyle's decision to quit hooking up leaves her in the minority.

Evidence of the backlash on hooking up on campuses can be seen in the growing popularity of the Love and Fidelity Network, a secular, nonprofit group dedicated to helping college students open the discussion for a lifestyle that doesn't involve casual sexual activity with anonymous or uncommitted partners.

Interesting and possibly a sign of the End Times. :cool:

:D

CNN (http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/04/19/college.anti.hookup.culture/index.html?hpt=C2)

noonwitch
04-19-2010, 11:40 AM
College students+alcohol=sex.

When I was in college in the dark ages of the early 80s, people were hooking up-every weekend it was a different guy. For some girls, it was a different guy each of the 3 nights of a college weekend (starts Thursday with bar night). Campus Crusade would come to each dorm and show the Josh McDowell anti-sex movie. I doubt it had any overall effect on student morality or the transmission of STDs on campus. My roommate the BJQ was a member of CC. She was born again all day, until she got some beer in her.

Zafod
04-19-2010, 01:28 PM
She was born again all day, until she got some beer in her.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

NJCardFan
04-20-2010, 12:24 AM
That chick is pretty hot so it must be hard for her. She probably gets hit on 100 times a night.

And Noon, the dark ages, eh? Colleges today wish they had it as good as we did then.






2,000th post...whoohoo!

Constitutionally Speaking
04-20-2010, 08:16 AM
From the article:


Some, like Boyle, experimented with hooking up and quit. Though she is Catholic, she says her reason for disengaging herself from the hook-up culture had more to do with the unhappiness she experienced afterward. Others influenced by religion have abstained from casual physical activity from the moment they set foot on campus.


Why doesn't anyone make the connection that one of the REASONS religions frown on such activities is BECAUSE it is empty and hollow - and leaves you feeling that way.


Of course that would get in the way of "religion is there to stifle you" meme.

noonwitch
04-20-2010, 08:46 AM
That chick is pretty hot so it must be hard for her. She probably gets hit on 100 times a night.

And Noon, the dark ages, eh? Colleges today wish they had it as good as we did then.






2,000th post...whoohoo!




My freshman year at WMU (1982-83) cost my dad about $3200. That's two semesters of dorm living, and two semesters of tuition. I paid for my books, which ran about $100-150 a semester. Middle class parents who made a combined $55,000-60,000 could afford to send their kids to college at those rates. I didn't even need financial aid of any sort.

marinejcksn
04-20-2010, 08:53 AM
College age punks seem to have money these days too (I say punks cuz I'm poor and bitter :p). The Spring Break destination for Penn State was Florida and the Bahamas this year. Here I came to school thinking all college kids lived off Ramen noodles and Pabst. :confused:

Gingersnap
04-20-2010, 10:41 AM
Why doesn't anyone make the connection that one of the REASONS religions frown on such activities is BECAUSE it is empty and hollow - and leaves you feeling that way.

Of course that would get in the way of "religion is there to stifle you" meme.

Whether you believe in a Creator or not, it's undeniable that every society has regulated sex. Sex is potentially one of the most damaging behaviors that a human being can engage in. Even in cultures that appear to support promiscuity, you will find a very carefully composed hierarchy of who gets who under what circumstances. People who step out of those boundaries are harshly punished.

In our society, the payoff for men is fairly obvious but there is no corresponding payoff for most women. Most women can't even have an orgasm when they are drunk or with a stranger so a lot of that is just acting learned from porn. Women are much more likely to contract an STI than their male counterparts and the infection is more likely to do permanent damage. Only women get pregnant, obviously, and hooking up happens at the age when men and women are most fertile. Women are more likely to sustain emotional damage from meaningless encounters since women seek emotional connections as part of their psychological wellbeing.

There's a lot of risk for not much reward here.

noonwitch
04-20-2010, 12:53 PM
College age punks seem to have money these days too (I say punks cuz I'm poor and bitter :p). The Spring Break destination for Penn State was Florida and the Bahamas this year. Here I came to school thinking all college kids lived off Ramen noodles and Pabst. :confused:


They live off of Ramen noodles and Pabst so they can save their pennies and spend them all during spring break!

Novaheart
04-20-2010, 01:18 PM
Why doesn't anyone make the connection that one of the REASONS religions frown on such activities is BECAUSE it is empty and hollow - and leaves you feeling that way.


Wow, and all this time I thought that religion "frowns" (if one can call stoning to death frowning) on such activity because it is providing governmental and societal (with the force of GOD SAYS) ownership of females and offspring so men will know who their heirs are and women will be worthy of bearing men heirs.


Except whores, concubines, conquest rape, eunichs, temple boys, and other sexual expressions not expressly forbidden prior to a given point in time or expressly ignored when convenient or by person of sufficient social rank. Results not typical, your experience will vary.

Novaheart
04-20-2010, 01:21 PM
W........women seek emotional connections as part of their psychological wellbeing........

People in hell want ice water.

Novaheart
04-20-2010, 01:23 PM
College age punks seem to have money these days too (I say punks cuz I'm poor and bitter :p). The Spring Break destination for Penn State was Florida and the Bahamas this year. Here I came to school thinking all college kids lived off Ramen noodles and Pabst. :confused:

Ramen noodles and Pabst- saving money for the important stuff, like pot and Spring Break.

Gingersnap
04-20-2010, 01:44 PM
People in hell want ice water.

I guess I'm not seeing your point here. You think women should shut up and put out whether it benefits them or not?

Or do you think that women's emotional needs are so trivial that they aren't worth any discussion? :confused:

Constitutionally Speaking
04-20-2010, 02:49 PM
Wow, and all this time I thought that religion "frowns" (if one can call stoning to death frowning) on such activity because it is providing governmental and societal (with the force of GOD SAYS) ownership of females and offspring so men will know who their heirs are and women will be worthy of bearing men heirs.


Except whores, concubines, conquest rape, eunichs, temple boys, and other sexual expressions not expressly forbidden prior to a given point in time or expressly ignored when convenient or by person of sufficient social rank. Results not typical, your experience will vary.



Just goes to show you how much you know - I don't think the reasons you gave are found anywhere in the Bible.


However, I would point out to you that I said ONE of the reasons.

Novaheart
04-20-2010, 05:46 PM
I guess I'm not seeing your point here. You think women should shut up and put out whether it benefits them or not?

Or do you think that women's emotional needs are so trivial that they aren't worth any discussion? :confused:

I think that what women want and what they get are not necessarily the same thing. I think that pop psychology has raised women's expectations beyond reason.

Novaheart
04-20-2010, 05:47 PM
Just goes to show you how much you know - I don't think the reasons you gave are found anywhere in the Bible.


However, I would point out to you that I said ONE of the reasons.

Hebrew and Greek translate roughly.

Megaguns91
04-20-2010, 06:13 PM
I think that what women want and what they get are not necessarily the same thing. I think that pop psychology has raised women's expectations beyond reason.

Please expand on this philosophy.
I'm not following you.

BadCat
04-20-2010, 06:24 PM
Please expand on this philosophy.
I'm not following you.

You don't want to follow "it".

Megaguns91
04-20-2010, 06:27 PM
You don't want to follow "it".

I'm hoping I can get him/her to expand on something that strikes me as purposely offensive.
I know what I want as a woman. I'm 100 percent capable of getting it as well.
Thus, I'm asking him/her to expand. I'm thoroughly interested, mostly to refute him/her for the sake of smart and capable women.

BadCat
04-20-2010, 06:29 PM
I'm hoping I can get him/her to expand on something that strikes me as purposely offensive.
I know what I want as a woman. I'm 100 percent capable of getting it as well.
Thus, I'm asking him/her to expand. I'm thoroughly interested, mostly to refute him/her for the sake of smart and capable women.

Well, I believe "it" is a "he" who wants to be a "she", sexually at least.
Therefore, what "it" thinks about anything is irrelevant.

Starbuck
04-21-2010, 08:53 AM
Whether you believe in a Creator or not, it's undeniable that every society has regulated sex. Sex is potentially one of the most damaging behaviors that a human being can engage in. Even in cultures that appear to support promiscuity, you will find a very carefully composed hierarchy of who gets who under what circumstances. People who step out of those boundaries are harshly punished.

In our society, the payoff for men is fairly obvious but there is no corresponding payoff for most women. Most women can't even have an orgasm when they are drunk or with a stranger so a lot of that is just acting learned from porn. Women are much more likely to contract an STI than their male counterparts and the infection is more likely to do permanent damage. Only women get pregnant, obviously, and hooking up happens at the age when men and women are most fertile. Women are more likely to sustain emotional damage from meaningless encounters since women seek emotional connections as part of their psychological wellbeing.

There's a lot of risk for not much reward here.

Well expressed. I think.

But maybe the payoff for all men is not quite so obvious. I know what you're saying, of course, all I'm saying is it is not all that simple. People - men and women - are verrrrry complicated critters.

I have seen several lives ruined - and I do mean ruined, not altered - by casual sex and unplanned pregnancies.
I remember back when we all thought the pill would prevent that sort of thing. It didn't. There is no substitute for mature actions. None at all.

Gingersnap
04-21-2010, 09:58 AM
Well expressed. I think.

But maybe the payoff for all men is not quite so obvious. I know what you're saying, of course, all I'm saying is it is not all that simple. People - men and women - are verrrrry complicated critters.

I have seen several lives ruined - and I do mean ruined, not altered - by casual sex and unplanned pregnancies.

I remember back when we all thought the pill would prevent that sort of thing. It didn't. There is no substitute for mature actions. None at all.

True enough. The stereotype of the wham, bam, thank you ma'am guy exists, of course, but plenty of men end up in life-changing situations through casual sex. The days are long gone when men could deny paternity and skip out of child support. Now, if a woman keeps her child, that father is on the hook emotionally and financially forever. Today if a woman says that a drunken encounter was forced, there's not a lot a guy can do. Even if the charge can't be substantiated, he's still got the 'rapist' label.

Novaheart
04-21-2010, 10:55 AM
Please expand on this philosophy.
I'm not following you.

It's not philosophy, it's observation. I think someone else called it "Phil Donohue Syndrome" (PDS) , ie the whole "I'm married to my best friend" thing. It's rather revolting to anyone who actually has a classic best friend and wouldn't have sex with his best friend even if it crossed his mind, well not sober and definitely not twice anyway. But I digress.

The PDS led to giving women permission to do what many of them are inclined to do, which is to cling and smother, which of course destroys marriages or else ends up with men who call their wife "Mrs." or "Mommy" and sleep in twin beds.

In all fairness, there are men who cling and smother too but society is much less indulgent where they are concerned.

Novaheart
04-21-2010, 10:58 AM
Well, I believe "it" is a "he" who wants to be a "she", sexually at least.
Therefore, what "it" thinks about anything is irrelevant.

Are you trying to be retarded or insulting? You're succeeding.

Megaguns91
04-21-2010, 11:34 AM
It's not philosophy, it's observation. I think someone else called it "Phil Donohue Syndrome" (PDS) , ie the whole "I'm married to my best friend" thing. It's rather revolting to anyone who actually has a classic best friend and wouldn't have sex with his best friend even if it crossed his mind, well not sober and definitely not twice anyway. But I digress.

The PDS led to giving women permission to do what many of them are inclined to do, which is to cling and smother, which of course destroys marriages or else ends up with men who call their wife "Mrs." or "Mommy" and sleep in twin beds.

In all fairness, there are men who cling and smother too but society is much less indulgent where they are concerned.

It has just become very obvious to me that you know nothing of what you're talking about. Maybe this is because you're not interested in the opposite sex and have never had to opportunity to experience a relationship with a (fairly sane) woman. I think your generalizations come from lack of experience, my friend.

Molon Labe
04-21-2010, 12:59 PM
College students + alcohol = sex.

When I was in college in the dark ages of the early 80s, people were hooking up-every weekend it was a different guy. For some girls, it was a different guy each of the 3 nights of a college weekend (starts Thursday with bar night). Campus Crusade would come to each dorm and show the Josh McDowell anti-sex movie. I doubt it had any overall effect on student morality or the transmission of STDs on campus. My roommate the BJQ was a member of CC. She was born again all day, until she got some beer in her.


That was a my favorite math equation in those days. :D

Sonnabend
04-21-2010, 04:42 PM
Wow, and all this time I thought that religion "frowns" (if one can call stoning to death frowning)We're discussing the US, not Iran or Somalia. The US isnt Muslim and no one has been stoned to death in I don't know...a thousand years or more...unlike the Islamic states, where such things happen every day.

Then again, you knew that when you said it.

Liberals. :rolleyes:

BadCat
04-21-2010, 06:07 PM
Are you trying to be retarded or insulting? You're succeeding.

If you have to ask if I'm insulting you, your HIV must be settling in your brain.

Rockntractor
04-21-2010, 10:10 PM
Are you trying to be retarded or insulting? You're succeeding.

http://i686.photobucket.com/albums/vv230/upyourstruly/puzzled.jpg?t=1271901757

Novaheart
04-21-2010, 10:23 PM
If you have to ask if I'm insulting you, your HIV must be settling in your brain.

You're a real piece of shit, aren't you? Fortunately, I don't have HIV but that would have been so thoroughly common if you had said that to someone who does.

Rockntractor
04-21-2010, 10:25 PM
You're a real piece of shit, aren't you? Fortunately, I don't have HIV but that would have been so thoroughly common if you had said that to someone who does.

I thought you liked shit.
http://i686.photobucket.com/albums/vv230/upyourstruly/Puzzled_by_ChrissieCool.jpg?t=1271903192

Novaheart
04-21-2010, 10:32 PM
I thought you liked shit.
http://i686.photobucket.com/albums/vv230/upyourstruly/Puzzled_by_ChrissieCool.jpg?t=1271903192


How cute! A contest to see which one of you can be the bigger dirtbag.

Rockntractor
04-21-2010, 10:35 PM
How cute! A contest to see which one of you can be the bigger dirtbag.

As far as physical size goes I would be a larger dirt bag, I guess your not as fond of me as Badcat our I would have rated shit too. I'm hurt!:confused:

Novaheart
04-21-2010, 10:49 PM
As far as physical size goes I would be a larger dirt bag, I guess your not as fond of me as Badcat our I would have rated shit too. I'm hurt!:confused:

Consider it implied in every post.

Rockntractor
04-21-2010, 10:56 PM
Consider it implied in every post.
http://i686.photobucket.com/albums/vv230/upyourstruly/puzzledgog.jpg?t=1271904933

AmPat
04-21-2010, 11:18 PM
How cute! A contest to see which one of you can be the bigger dirtbag.

EW EW, pick me, pick me!:eek:

BadCat
04-22-2010, 04:50 PM
You're a real piece of shit, aren't you? Fortunately, I don't have HIV but that would have been so thoroughly common if you had said that to someone who does.

No, I'm a nice guy.
I just can't stand faggots.

Are you a genetic or social defect?

CueSi
04-22-2010, 05:13 PM
How about neither?

~QC

Gingersnap
04-22-2010, 07:52 PM
Okay - knock it off, guys.

Let's get back to the more compelling question of why the decision to not put out during college seems so controversial. ;)

Rockntractor
04-22-2010, 07:54 PM
Okay - knock it off, guys.

Let's get back to the more compelling question of why the decision to not put out during college seems so controversial. ;)
Put out what?:confused:

Gingersnap
04-22-2010, 08:02 PM
Put out what?:confused:

Grain, in your case.

Rockntractor
04-22-2010, 08:04 PM
Grain, in your case.

Oh yeah, up with grain. Grain rules!:cool:

lurkalot
04-22-2010, 11:08 PM
The first time around when I attended the University I was shy, stupid and 250 pounds, so hook ups were not exactly falling my way. However, I was a great girl "buddy" LOL
The second time getting a degree at a university I had improved in the looks department but in the meantime had gotten a nursing degree and fifteen years of wisdom..watching a few patients die of AIDS sorta chills the old "hook up" desires....
now... too old and tired....:cool:

Gingersnap
04-22-2010, 11:21 PM
now... too old and tired....:cool:

AKA: Smart.

malloc
04-22-2010, 11:43 PM
I skipped the whole college thing, but still got to make it to the hook up party scene by hanging out with my friends who went to ASU when I was on leave, or when I got out and into the Reserves.

Now I'm married, and the only women besides my wife I'm allowed to hook up with are Salma Hayek, Eliza Dushku or Naureen DeWulf if the opportunity ever presents itself. Apparently the missus says all others are off limits. :( :D