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View Full Version : " Al-Qa'eda Takes A Stand Against Brutality And Cucumber,Invokes New Cucumber Laws!"



megimoo
08-11-2008, 05:05 PM
Al-Qa'eda in Iraq alienated by cucumber laws and brutality

"Women were not allowed to buy cucumbers, only men."

"Sounds as If Some Arab Men Have A problem With The Temptations Of 'Goat Sex' !"

"They even killed female goats because their private parts were not covered and their tails were pointed upward, which they said was haram. "

Besides the terrible killings inflicted by the fanatics on those who refuse to pledge allegiance to them, Al-Qa'eda has lost credibility for enforcing a series of rules imposing their way of thought on the most mundane aspects of everyday life.

They include a ban on women buying suggestively-shaped vegetables, according to one tribal leader in the western province of Anbar.

Sheikh Hameed al-Hayyes, a Sunni elder, told Reuters: "They even killed female goats because their private parts were not covered and their tails were pointed upward, which they said was haram.

"They regarded the cucumber as male and tomato as female. Women were not allowed to buy cucumbers, only men."

Other farcical stipulations include an edict not to buy or sell ice-cream, because it did not exist in the time of the Prophet, while hair salons and shops selling cosmetics have also been bombed.



http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/iraq/2538545/Al-Qaeda-in-Iraq-alienated-by-cucumber-laws-and-brutality.html

PB2012
08-11-2008, 05:43 PM
"Oh I'm proud to be an American.."

Gingersnap
08-12-2008, 10:32 AM
Uh.......so, if you kill all the female goats, where will the baby goats come from? Also, why would it be forbidden for women to buy cukes when it would apparently be okay for women to prepare them? I mean, it's not like some patriarchal Muslim dude is going to make a nice Greek salad for his family. :confused:

megimoo
08-12-2008, 10:57 AM
Uh.......so, if you kill all the female goats, where will the baby goats come from? Also, why would it be forbidden for women to buy cukes when it would apparently be okay for women to prepare them? I mean, it's not like some patriarchal Muslim dude is going to make a nice Greek salad for his family. :confused:They're ok once they are cut up but a man be in the room to supervise the prep.As for the female goats all they do is tie the tails down !Them Arabs are worse than Catholics !:cool:

biccat
08-12-2008, 12:07 PM
Uh.......so, if you kill all the female goats, where will the baby goats come from? Also, why would it be forbidden for women to buy cukes when it would apparently be okay for women to prepare them? I mean, it's not like some patriarchal Muslim dude is going to make a nice Greek salad for his family. :confused:

They probably didn't have Greek salads at the time of the prophet, so anyone caught making a Greek salad would be stoned to death.

noonwitch
08-12-2008, 01:24 PM
So, are men allowed to buy tomatos? I'm curious if the ban only affects women, which I suspect is the case. In that part of the world, men's sexual sins are excused because women are blamed for tempting men by being women.

megimoo
08-12-2008, 01:32 PM
So, are men allowed to buy tomatos? I'm curious if the ban only affects women, which I suspect is the case. In that part of the world, men's sexual sins are excused because women are blamed for tempting men by being women.It's biblical, don't cha know ?

Goldwater
08-12-2008, 01:57 PM
How can Al Qaeda enact any laws? They don't govern or run any region.

Odysseus
08-12-2008, 02:21 PM
So, are men allowed to buy tomatos? I'm curious if the ban only affects women, which I suspect is the case. In that part of the world, men's sexual sins are excused because women are blamed for tempting men by being women.

Since Arab men can buy actual women, buying tomatos is probably not an issue. I assume that a woman who purchased a cucumber and two tomatos would be completely beyond redemption, and don't get me started on the theological implications of Kumquats. :D
:D

How can Al Qaeda enact any laws? They don't govern or run any region.

The simply enforced their idea of Sharia law, which is sort of like having Nancy Pelosi enforcing her idea of US Constitutional law.