View Full Version : Dear Liberals: We want a divorce

07-27-2010, 04:07 PM
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters..

We have stuck together since the late 1950痴, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know, we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but, sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot, and will not ever agree on what is right, so let痴 just end it on friendly terms. We can smile, chalk it up to irreconcilable differences, and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don稚 like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we値l take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O奪onnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them) .

We値l keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We値l keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO痴, and rednecks. We値l keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we値l retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks, and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we値l help provide them security.

We値l keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.

We値l keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing doctors. We値l continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We値l keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I知 sure you値l be happy to substitute Imagine, I壇 Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.

We値l practice trickle down economics, and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you we値l keep our history, our name, and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots, and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I値l bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely, John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda

Thanks Jim

07-27-2010, 05:49 PM
That is a fantastic agreement.

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda

LOL @ This part.

07-27-2010, 05:52 PM
im tempted to sign it and send to elected officials

07-27-2010, 05:54 PM
im tempted to sign it and send to elected officials

Well, you could always use it as a signature on Obama's Birthday Card (http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/barackbirthday)

07-27-2010, 05:58 PM
fuck him and the 3 legged jack ass he rode in on.

i could copy and paste into they're online gmail.

PC Guy
07-28-2010, 08:45 PM
Thanks for sharing namvet.:D