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Gingersnap
08-03-2010, 11:13 AM
Washington Undecided on Response to Alien Invasion

2010-08-02 12:25:29 Reported By future_coolguy

future_coolguy Senate Democrats announced they would be unable to pass legislation to counteract the impending Alien Invasion before their recess. Pundits on the left declare the invasion imminent citing numerous alien spacecraft dropping millions of fliers on major cities around the world with the message "We are invading in 30 Earth days- surrender or be destroyed" in multiple languages. Right wing talk show host and professional fat dumbass Rush Limbaugh meanwhile continues leading the charge that "this phony baloney invasion theory is just a theory! This wouldn't have happend under Bush! Obama is too soft on terror! This legislation is just a back door to a government run Army, relocation camps, and ACORN!"

House Democrats are furious with Senate Democratic holdouts Dennis Kucinich (D-OH), Bernie Sanders (S-VT) and Dick Durbin (D-IL). All three holdouts claim the plan doesn't go far enough. Kucinich explained: "Sure our nukes will blow them up- but then what? How will we house their survivors? How will we pay for their health care when we don't know anything about them, and we still don't have universal health care?"

Republicans continued their threat to filibuster. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell repeated on the steps of the capital the Republican pledge to stop the "unchecked expansion of government" as will as his charge that Republicans have been left out of the process of drafting the legislation. He did announce an alternative plan which called for tax cuts for the upper 10% of the US population. "The start of an invasion is no time for our hardest workers to worry about how to pay next year's taxes" explained McConnell.

In response to charges that the Republicans are posturing to ensure Obama looks bad by the midterm elections/invasion McConnell replied "The Democrats control the House, the Senate, and the Presidency, if they wanted to they could pass this legislation."

President Obama will call a White House Press Conference later this week and is expected to reaffirm his pledge that stopping the invasion is his top priority and to "strongly encourage" the Senate to pass the bill within 6 months of returning from recess.

The invading aliens have not yet issued an response because their "invasion protocols do not have defined the case in which the dominant government on the host planet struggles to do the tiniest thing."

Typical. :rolleyes:

:D

Rumor Miller (http://www.rumormiller.com/viewtopic.php?f=146&t=142&r=Washington+Undecided+on+Response+to+Alien+Invasi on)

noonwitch
08-03-2010, 01:03 PM
Funny!

What would all those idiots in both parties do if some invasion like Independence Day or V was to happen? All the old school generals like Patton are long gone. I'm pretty sure he could have come up with an effective strategy.

malloc
08-03-2010, 05:17 PM
What I would love to see, is for the House/Senate to come together and have a mock constitutional convention, like our founding fathers, and see how they draft framing documents. I would love to read the absolute monstrosities produced by modern politicians and lawyers compared to the Constitution as it was written, signed and ratified in 1780's.

warpig
08-03-2010, 07:05 PM
I'm shocked and appalled............................:rolleyes:

AmPat
08-04-2010, 01:28 PM
Washington Undecided on Response to Alien Invasion
As soon as the DummycRATS figure out the aliens would vote majority DIMocRAT, they'd close ranks and push for citizenship.:cool: