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View Full Version : Your Best Quitting or Getting Fired off a Job!



Speedy
08-10-2010, 04:03 PM
We have practically all heard of the flight attendant who quit while the plane he was on was taxiing. He cursed out the crew, grabbed a beer and jumped into his grave with both feet.

What is the most colorful way you have left a job or gotten fired? I got canned once for feeding a guy some brisket. I'll get into the details after a couple of posts.

JB
08-10-2010, 05:45 PM
I got canned once for feeding a guy some brisket. I'll get into the details after a couple of posts.Please don't.

I've never been fired from a job but I've had a couple colorful resignations.

Gingersnap
08-10-2010, 09:24 PM
I've never been fired - on the contrary, I've quit and they've called me up two days later begging for my return. Quitting has always been a very cold-blooded calculation for me. I've seldom quit a job without having a better one lined up. No dramatics, sadly. People talk and you never know if you're going to get interviewed by the second cousin of whoever you cursed out.

malloc
08-10-2010, 09:48 PM
I've never been fired - on the contrary, I've quit and they've called me up two days later begging for my return. Quitting has always been a very cold-blooded calculation for me. I've seldom quit a job without having a better one lined up. No dramatics, sadly. People talk and you never know if you're going to get interviewed by the second cousin of whoever you cursed out.

Pretty much the same with me, only I've been fired from my Dad's construction company about a thousand times, but that doesn't really count.

However, when I did get the final signature on my checkout sheet when I was checking out of the Marines I moonwalked/Michael Jacksoned out of the S-1 office. I probably wouldn't have even done that, but it was after hours and the brass and SNCO's were gone.


On Edit: When, or if, I ever leave my current position I was thinking of wearing slippers, boxer shorts and a bathrobe to my last day of work. I don't think anybody would really care though. We have people here with blue hair and staples in their face, so I doubt a bathrobe would raise an eyebrow.

Speedy
08-10-2010, 10:15 PM
I was working for a Chevy dealership doing used car prep. We had a company picnic and they had a shitload of briskets there. They had about 10 or 12 more briskets than what had been needed. On monday when we go back to work, one of the mechanics finds the briskets in the employee lounge. He takes one and a loaf of bread. He heats the brisket up in the microwave and he takes it into the repair bay. He puts it on a bench next to my work area.

One of the salesmen came through and left. A little later he comes back with another salesman who all of the mechanics thought was an asshole. He asks who had gotten the brisket. No one said anything. He asks again and louder. He asks me directly. I ask him if it was HIS brisket and he said that the briskets belonged to the sales crew. I say well, take it and turn away. He grabs my shoulder and turn me back toward him. That was bad enough but then he starts jabbing his finger in my chest.

I did not even plan it. I grabbed him by the neck and pushed him back against the wall. The brisket was there within reach so I grabbed it and stuffed it in his face. "You want brisket? I have your fucking brisket!"

I let him go and I went back to what I had been going. 15 minutes later I get called in through the intercom. The boss says I can't work there anymore. I tell the shop foreman I would be back the next morning for my tools since I had ridden my bike to work that morning. When I went to get my tools the next day, my tool box was outside the shop.

patriot45
08-10-2010, 10:18 PM
I was working for a Chevy dealership doing used car prep. We had a company picnic and they had a shitload of briskets there. They had about 10 or 12 more briskets than what had been needed. On monday when we go back to work, one of the mechanics finds the briskets in the employee lounge. He takes one and a loaf of bread. He heats the brisket up in the microwave and he takes it into the repair bay. He puts it on a bench next to my work area.

One of the salesmen came through and left. A little later he comes back with another salesman who all of the mechanics thought was an asshole. He asks who had gotten the brisket. No one said anything. He asks again and louder. He asks me directly. I ask him if it was HIS brisket and he said that the briskets belonged to the sales crew. I say well, take it and turn away. He grabs my shoulder and turn me back toward him. That was bad enough but then he starts jabbing his finger in my chest.

I did not even plan it. I grabbed him by the neck and pushed him back against the wall. The brisket was there within reach so I grabbed it and stuffed it in his face. "You want brisket? I have your fucking brisket!"

I let him go and I went back to what I had been going. 15 minutes later I get called in through the intercom. The boss says I can't work there anymore. I tell the shop foreman I would be back the next morning for my tools since I had ridden my bike to work that morning. When I went to get my tools the next day, my tool box was outside the shop.

Damn! You didn't stab him 14 times or anything!?!

Speedy
08-10-2010, 10:36 PM
Damn! You didn't stab him 14 times or anything!?!

Just fed a hungry guy some brisket.

Articulate_Ape
08-10-2010, 11:04 PM
I've never been fired - on the contrary, I've quit and they've called me up two days later begging for my return. Quitting has always been a very cold-blooded calculation for me. I've seldom quit a job without having a better one lined up. No dramatics, sadly. People talk and you never know if you're going to get interviewed by the second cousin of whoever you cursed out.

Brothels are dodgy that way.

Gingersnap
08-10-2010, 11:11 PM
Brothels are dodgy that way.

And I've heard gay Madams are sooooo bitchy. You have my sympathy. :)

Articulate_Ape
08-10-2010, 11:54 PM
And I've heard gay Madams are sooooo bitchy. You have my sympathy. :)

A phenomenon that seems to cross the divide of your former profession, which your clear familiarity with enlightens us all. :p

Gingersnap
08-11-2010, 12:02 AM
A phenomenon that seems to cross the divide of your former profession, which your clear familiarity with enlightens us all. :p

No, my familiarity is with Customer Service and Focus groups, not customer servicing and orgies, although your experience with gay brothels sounds intriguing. Do tell.

Now back to our possibly less salacious Quitting stories. :p

CueSi
08-11-2010, 01:12 AM
When I quit stripping, it was spur of the moment ,but it wasn't as if it never crossed my mind before. My hate and resentment of the job just reached a boiling point. Some strippers DO end up hating men when it's over. I just end up hating strip club managers. Okay, I may have hated a couple of the other dancers too. But it was apparent : Sunday, it stopped being fun, damn the money. Monday, I walked into work with a bin to put my clothes in.

"Dallas, what are you doing?"

"Quitting. I'm sick of this shit."

"Are you sure, I mean, don't you want a week off to think about it?"

"No. Because that week will turn into 3 days, when that stringy haired **** of a manager will call and beg me to come back. I'll come back, thinking it'll be different, but then I have to deal with Vanessa snaking out customers from under me, coming into the dressing room to see Janis smoking crack in the shower, and the stringy haired **** who runs the entire thing, trying to emotionally abuse me AND trying to sleep with like I ain't got a daddy and don't know better. And he knows this!! I ain't sucking his dishwater dick, I don't care how much he pays me. I'm done treating this like a job. FUCK. THIS. SHIT."

"We'll call you in three days."

The manager did call three days later. I told him that I could find plenty of people to make my life hell better than he could. That was six months ago. Ain't never looked back.

Ain't never been happier.

~QC

Tecate
08-11-2010, 01:50 AM
21 years ago...

It's never a good thing to get caught with a smoking bong in the front seat of a parked car when the police pull up out of nowhere and surprise you. It wasn't my vehicle, my dope, or my bong, but I was there and that's all it takes. It's even worse when you are bonded through your profession because you work on bank vault security systems, time locks, alarm systems, silent duress alarms, video surveillance in federal buildings, etc. And worst of all, I was already on probation for a DUI ~2 years earlier. They could have revoked my probation and sent me straight to jail, but it didn't happen. I was given two more years of probation instead.

It doesn't take your employer very long to find out that you've been arrested. Yes, I was fired immediately and I can't believe I just posted this shit on the internet.

ralph wiggum
08-11-2010, 09:24 AM
I was a part-time bouncer at a popular campus bar in college my senior year. Just a couple or three nights a week. The wimmens would pass me beer, so it wasn't like I was working very hard. Plus our campus was somewhat small enough that I pretty much knew who was of age & who wasn't.

We had a keg in the park one Saturday afternoon on a night I was supposed to work. I just wasn't in the mood to do that crap anymore. The party moved back to my house, and I called into the bar and asked for the owner. I said "I'm really sorry, but I'm not coming in tonight. Or any other night." Click.

noonwitch
08-11-2010, 01:21 PM
My first job was waitressing at an IHOP. I didn't tell anyone off when I left, but the manager was a dickwad who made us all wear dresses that were too small so he could watch a bunch of 16 year old girls walk around, hoping one of us would have to bend over to pick something up, I guess.


As I was the youngest and cutest girl there, he didn't want me to quit. I worked there for 8 months and quit right before school started for my senior year. I had gotten a better job at a department store. He berated me, told me I was taking the easy way out and that my main reason was bullshit (that I had school and couldn't be working until 11 at night-I didn't know at the time he was violating child labor laws). I had to turn in my uniform after my last day, and I made sure I turned it in to the owner, who was a very nice guy. He told me he was sad to see me leave, and I told him he'd keep his waitresses longer if he got rid of the manager.

RobJohnson
08-11-2010, 03:48 PM
I left employment in Illinois with a bang. After being lied to several times about money & new opportunities, on top of every excuse in the world for putting off my evaluation, it was getting old.

I had a nasty slip and fall on a wet greasy floor. The day that I seen the doctor for the injury I rec'd a voice mail that I was fired. Stupid them. :D

lacarnut
08-11-2010, 04:32 PM
Been fired twice for threatening to kick a Union puke ass for bad mouthing me on a construction job, and caught the President and Chairman of the Board stealing golf balls at the Country Club I worked at. Made him pay for them. After that, he was hell bent on getting the rest of the board members to oust me. The sorry prick was also a High School Principal.

aerojarod
08-11-2010, 05:03 PM
None to share myself, but check out: thatsmyboss.com