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Gingersnap
08-11-2010, 09:58 AM
Upper 80s/low 90s again today with a potentially dry afternoon. Then it slides down in temp for the weekend. :)

TOTD: The Poisoned Wish.

Some old timers may remember that I posted this game about four or five years ago. I think it's time to dust it off and relaunch it again.

The game is very simple: the first poster expresses a wish for himself, the next poster grants that wish but with a poisoned twist. The second poster then asks for her own wish and so it goes.


Example:

Poster A: I wish I could get off work early today and play some golf.

Poster B: Wish granted! Your boss unexpectedly give everybody the afternoon off. You hit the links only to find that your wife is taking swing lessons from the golf pro and those lessons don't involve the driving range.

Poster B: I wish I had a brand new car.

Okay? Here's my wish: I wish my dog would stop chewing on the bedroom quilt. :)

jendf
08-11-2010, 11:02 AM
Here's my wish: I wish my dog would stop chewing on the bedroom quilt. :)

Wish granted! Your dog stops chewing on the bedroom quilt and instead starts gnawing on his own leg, quickly answering to a new name-Tripod.

I wish I could get the remainder of my credit card debt paid off before the end of the year.

Gingersnap
08-11-2010, 11:18 AM
Wish granted! Your dog stops chewing on the bedroom quilt and instead starts gnawing on his own leg, quickly answering to a new name-Tripod.

I wish I could get the remainder of my credit card debt paid off before the end of the year.

Your wish is granted! You take a lucrative part time job table dancing at the local strip club. Your money problems vanish as you rake in big bucks dancing under the name "Naughty Angel".

I wish someone else would cook dinner tonight.

JB
08-11-2010, 11:34 AM
I wish someone else would cook dinner tonight.Granted. I'm making trunk cat.

I wish Naughty Angel would put out for free.

bijou
08-11-2010, 11:45 AM
Granted. I'm making trunk cat.

I wish Naughty Angel would put out for free.

Naughty Angel puts out, unfortunately you find out that Angel is quite a popular name for Hispanic males

Gingersnap
08-11-2010, 11:46 AM
Granted. I'm making trunk cat.

I wish Naughty Angel would put out for free.

Wish granted! Naughty Angel arrives on your doorstep dressed to undress. Sadly, she also covertly filming your activities for upload to her famous website Creepy Sex Pervs. Even worse, a link to the site is already on it's way to your Mom.

I wish Tom Tancredo would win the Colorado Governor's race this fall.

JB
08-11-2010, 12:09 PM
Naughty Angel puts out, unfortunately you find out that Angel is quite a popular name for Hispanic malesur doing it wrong. halfway wrong anyway.

Now reply to Ginger and play right. I have to abandon this thread until more dudes show up.

Good answer by the way. ;)

bijou
08-11-2010, 12:17 PM
ur doing it wrong. halfway wrong anyway.

Now reply to Ginger and play right. I have to abandon this thread until more dudes show up.

Good answer by the way. ;)

Oops, I really shouldn't multitask! :o

bijou
08-11-2010, 12:19 PM
Wish granted! Naughty Angel arrives on your doorstep dressed to undress. Sadly, she also covertly filming your activities for upload to her famous website Creepy Sex Pervs. Even worse, a link to the site is already on it's way to your Mom.

I wish Tom Tancredo would win the Colorado Governor's race this fall.

Wish granted, Tom wins. However he then unveils his new policy, TancredoCare.

I wish I had a self-weeding garden.

Gingersnap
08-11-2010, 12:52 PM
Wish granted, Tom wins. However he then unveils his new policy, TancredoCare.

I wish I had a self-weeding garden.

Your wish is granted! Your neighborhood becomes a Mecca (hah, hah!) for Muslim asylum seekers. As more and more move in, your council decides to declare all backyards common property. Your neighbor's goat herd soon take care of your weed problem.

I wish I had a Smart car (they are sooo cute!).

jendf
08-11-2010, 02:56 PM
I wish I had a Smart car (they are sooo cute!).

Your wish is granted. However, your Smart car decides that you've lead a complete and full life and that it's time for you to go now. Thus, it drives you over a cliff.

I wish the Diamondbacks didn't suck so bad.

jendf
08-11-2010, 02:58 PM
Naughty Angel puts out, unfortunately you find out that Angel is quite a popular name for Hispanic males

:D Nice one, bijou.

RobJohnson
08-11-2010, 03:54 PM
Your wish is granted. However, your Smart car decides that you've lead a complete and full life and that it's time for you to go now. Thus, it drives you over a cliff.

I wish the Diamondbacks didn't suck so bad.

Your wish is granted. However, the series they won involved 1st graders and T-ball.

I wish that I could have a one night stand with Marie Osmond.

Articulate_Ape
08-11-2010, 04:24 PM
Your wish is granted. However, the series they won involved 1st graders and T-ball.

I wish that I could have a one night stand with Marie Osmond.

Your wish is granted, but you are horrified to learn that Marie's name at birth was Marty, and for good reason.

I wish I could take a year long vacation.

bijou
08-11-2010, 04:26 PM
Your wish is granted, but you are horrified to learn that Marie's name at birth was Marty, and for good reason.

I wish I could take a year long vacation.

Wish granted, sadly your vacation companion is called Bubba and is in for 10 years.

I wish I could paint like Titian.

Gingersnap
08-11-2010, 05:41 PM
Wish granted, sadly your vacation companion is called Bubba and is in for 10 years.

I wish I could paint like Titian.

Your wish is granted! However, your new found genius is due to a tragic Lasik mishap which has left your vision permenently impaired. Everything you see is slightly pump and vaguely reddish.

I wish Friday was the start of a three-day weekend.

PoliCon
08-11-2010, 06:01 PM
Your wish is granted! However, your new found genius is due to a tragic Lasik mishap which has left your vision permenently impaired. Everything you see is slightly pump and vaguely reddish.

I wish Friday was the start of a three-day weekend.

Your wish is granted. Friday starts your three day weekend but only because Islam is now the dominant religion in American and Sharia law requires you to walk around covered in bedsheets all day every day.


I wish Satanicus were smarter. :)

malloc
08-11-2010, 06:04 PM
Your wish is granted. Friday starts your three day weekend but only because Islam is now the dominant religion in American and Sharia law requires you to walk around covered in bedsheets all day every day.


I wish Satanicus were smarter. :)

Your wish is granted! Stanticus has been elevated from knuckle dragger stupid, to mouth breather stupid, unfortunately he drools all over you while mouth breathing.

I wish I could get more sleep during the week.

m00
08-11-2010, 06:43 PM
I wish I could get more sleep during the week.

Wish granted! You find yourself locked in a room with Al Gore, who needs to practice his presentation for the next Global Warming Summit over and over again. Except there is one-way glass wall separating you, and you can't communicate or interact with him in any way.

I wish Obama wasn't president.

malloc
08-11-2010, 07:03 PM
I wish Obama wasn't president.

Your wish is granted! Unfortunately, shortly after assuming the Presidency Joe Biden suffers a fatal heart attack making Nancy Pelosi President of the United States, hoards of illegals invade the U.S. while Wall Street plummets and unemployment nears 50%.

Articulate_Ape
08-11-2010, 07:13 PM
Your wish is granted! Unfortunately, shortly after assuming the Presidency Joe Biden suffers a fatal heart attack making Nancy Pelosi President of the United States, hoards of illegals invade the U.S. while Wall Street plummets and unemployment nears 50%.

What's your wish, meathead? Geez, does Ginger have to explain this all again? :rolleyes:

malloc
08-11-2010, 07:36 PM
What's your wish, meathead? Geez, does Ginger have to explain this all again? :rolleyes:

Hey, I'm slow.

I wish I were more on the ball today.

PoliCon
08-11-2010, 08:26 PM
Hey, I'm slow.

I wish I were more on the ball today.

You're wish is granted. You are now a circus bear and you get to spend every day on the ball.


I wish the summer was longer.

BadCat
08-11-2010, 08:39 PM
You're wish is granted. You are now a circus bear and you get to spend every day on the ball.


I wish the summer was longer.

You don't get a wish.
No wishes for short people.

malloc
08-11-2010, 08:42 PM
You're wish is granted. You are now a circus bear and you get to spend every day on the ball.


I wish the summer was longer.

Your wish is granted! Summer is now 360 days out of the year! Unfortunately, shortly thereafter you were arrested for being short in public and sentenced to 20 years in a tent city in Yuma, AZ.

I wish I could take a vacation.

Articulate_Ape
08-11-2010, 08:47 PM
Your wish is granted! Summer is now 360 days out of the year! Unfortunately, shortly thereafter you were arrested for being short in public and sentenced to 20 years in a tent city in Yuma, AZ.

I wish I could take a vacation.

Your wish is granted. You're fired.

I wish the next person's wish, whatever it might be, will allow me to get all the wishes I want. :)

Rockntractor
08-11-2010, 08:49 PM
Your wish is granted. You're fired.

I wish the next person's wish, whatever it might be, will allow me to get all the wishes I want. :)

I wish a large gorilla would have its way with Articulate Ape.:D

Bubba Dawg
08-11-2010, 08:49 PM
Your wish is granted. You're fired.

I wish the next person's wish, whatever it might be, will allow me to get all the wishes I want. :)

Your wish is granted but you have to live in Pittsburg for a year for every wish you make.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner.

PoliCon
08-11-2010, 08:51 PM
Your wish is granted but you have to live in Pittsburg for a year for every wish you make.

You're making him move to California? :confused:

Bubba Dawg
08-11-2010, 08:54 PM
You're making him move to California? :confused:

The "h" is on a six game suspension. :p

Gingersnap
08-11-2010, 09:00 PM
Your wish is granted but you have to live in Pittsburg for a year for every wish you make.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner.

Your wish is granted! In fact, you the Oscar Meyer Weiner. Sadly, your carbon footprint now exceeds the allowable limits for novelty vehicles and you've been sent to the crusher.

I wish I had $10,000 gift certificate to Neiman Marcus.

Bubba Dawg
08-11-2010, 09:02 PM
Your wish is granted! In fact, you the Oscar Meyer Weiner. Sadly, your carbon footprint now exceeds the allowable limits for novelty vehicles and you've been sent to the crusher.

I wish I had $10,000 gift certificate to Neiman Marcus.

Ouch. And everybody was in love with me.....

Here's your gift certificate. In the fine print, though, it's only good for clown art.

I wish I had a box of good cigars.

Gingersnap
08-11-2010, 09:09 PM
Ouch. And everybody was in love with me.....

Here's your gift certificate. In the fine print, though, it's only good for clown art.

I wish I had a box of good cigars.

Your wish is granted! You have a box of the finest hand-rolled cigars on the planet. Sadly, you are in the ICU awaiting a lung transplant.

I wish I could meet Alton Brown.

Bubba Dawg
08-11-2010, 09:11 PM
Your wish is granted! You have a box of the finest hand-rolled cigars on the planet. Sadly, you are in the ICU awaiting a lung transplant.

I wish I could meet Alton Brown.

Your wish is granted. He came by to ask if you remembered to close the garage door.

I wish I had a new bicycle.

malloc
08-11-2010, 09:11 PM
Your wish is granted! You have a box of the finest hand-rolled cigars on the planet. Sadly, you are in the ICU awaiting a lung transplant.

I wish I could meet Alton Brown.

Your wish is granted! You finally get to meet Alton Brown. Unfortunately, upon arrival you find out it's some guy named Atlon Brown from Newark, not THE Alton Brown, and then he mugs you.

I wish I had a self-cleaning house.

Bubba Dawg
08-11-2010, 09:15 PM
Your wish is granted! You finally get to meet Alton Brown. Unfortunately, upon arrival you find out it's some guy named Atlon Brown from Newark, not THE Alton Brown, and then he mugs you.

Could be worse, he could be from Pittsburgh

Articulate_Ape
08-11-2010, 09:42 PM
Your wish is granted! You finally get to meet Alton Brown. Unfortunately, upon arrival you find out it's some guy named Atlon Brown from Newark, not THE Alton Brown, and then he mugs you.

I wish I had a self-cleaning house.

Your wish is granted. You now live in a casket.

I wish my penis didn't drag on the floor.

malloc
08-11-2010, 09:47 PM
Your wish is granted. You now live in a casket.

I wish my penis didn't drag on the floor.

Your wish is granted! You now have prosthetic legs to replace the 2 inch stumps you were rocking before.

I wish it didn't go over 100F or below 70F all summer.

Gingersnap
08-12-2010, 09:58 AM
Your wish is granted! You now have prosthetic legs to replace the 2 inch stumps you were rocking before.

I wish it didn't go over 100F or below 70F all summer.

Wish granted! You now reside in a SuperMax facility down the hall from the Unibomber.

I wish someone else would pick up all those darn apples. :(

RobJohnson
08-14-2010, 07:15 AM
Wish granted! You now reside in a SuperMax facility down the hall from the Unibomber.

I wish someone else would pick up all those darn apples. :(

Wish granted. The goats have ate the apples, littered your lawn, found a home in the left open garage and your new roommate Rockntractor is late with his rent.

I wish I could fly.

PoliCon
08-14-2010, 08:41 AM
Wish granted. The goats have ate the apples, littered your lawn, found a home in the left open garage and your new roommate Rockntractor is late with his rent.

I wish I could fly.

Your wish is granted. You can now fly. . . . that is until you hit the ground. Your new gay lover - whom you have made the sole beneficiary of everything you own - talked you into going skydiving . . . . only he didn't give you a parachute before he pushed you out of the plane . . . . .


I wish there was no such thing as dust.

Sonnabend
08-14-2010, 09:56 AM
I wish there was no such thing as dust.

Your wish is granted. You now live in a plastic bubble for the rest of your life after contracting a horribly contagious disease. Hope you like sterile water.

I wish I lived in Texas.

m00
08-14-2010, 10:52 AM
Your wish is granted. You now live in a plastic bubble for the rest of your life after contracting a horribly contagious disease. Hope you like sterile water.

I wish I lived in Texas.

Wish Granted. Obama allows Mexico to annex Texas. You now live in Texas, Mexico.

I wish I knew the perfect wish.

Sonnabend
08-14-2010, 11:43 AM
I wish I knew the perfect wish.

Granted. You just used up your wish to get the perfect wish...which wont work now.

I wish I could go back in time to when I was 18...with everything I know now, including knowledge of the future.

Articulate_Ape
08-14-2010, 01:40 PM
Granted. You just used up your wish to get the perfect wish...which wont work now.

I wish I could go back in time to when I was 18...with everything I know now, including knowledge of the future.

Your wish is granted, unfortunately you land in the center of Antarctica wearing nothing but a bathing suit and flip-flops.


I wish whoever grants my wish has the exact same wish granted to them.

m00
08-14-2010, 01:56 PM
Your wish is granted, unfortunately you land in the center of Antarctica wearing nothing but a bathing suit and flip-flops.


I wish whoever grants my wish has the exact same wish granted to them.

Your wish is granted and the exact same wish is granted to me. Unfortunately, only you get the poisoned bit.

I wish this thread would end.

RobJohnson
08-14-2010, 05:31 PM
Your wish is granted and the exact same wish is granted to me. Unfortunately, only you get the poisoned bit.

I wish this thread would end.

Your wish is granted. However, you are now obsessed with it & won't let it go.

I wish someone would show up at my door with a hot fresh pizza and not ask for money.

PoliCon
08-14-2010, 07:35 PM
Your wish is granted. However, you are now obsessed with it & won't let it go.

I wish someone would show up at my door with a hot fresh pizza and not ask for money.

You're wish is granted. The delivery guy instead insists that you pay with sexual favors and he's big enough to make you do it. So now you're left lying in the fetal position in the corner wishing you were dead - but hey - you have a hot pizza for which you didn't have to pay.


i wish Satanicus was capable of a cogent argument.

Apache
08-14-2010, 07:45 PM
You're wish is granted. The delivery guy instead insists that you pay with sexual favors and he's big enough to make you do it. So now you're left lying in the fetal position in the corner wishing you were dead - but hey - you have a hot pizza for which you didn't have to pay.


i wish Satanicus was capable of a cogent argument.

Your wish is granted. Satanicus instead insists that you pay with sexual favors and he's big enough to make you do it. So now you're left lying in the fetal position in the corner wishing you were dead - but hey - you have a cogent argument... :eek:


I wish I could make a profit.

PoliCon
08-14-2010, 07:56 PM
Your wish is granted. Satanicus instead insists that you pay with sexual favors and he's big enough to make you do it. So now you're left lying in the fetal position in the corner wishing you were dead - but hey - you have a cogent argument... :eek:
THIEF! :mad:

Apache
08-14-2010, 07:59 PM
THIEF! :mad:

You need a hand with your panties :confused:



Where's my WISH :(

Apache
08-14-2010, 08:33 PM
Poli?

PoliCon
08-14-2010, 08:37 PM
Poli?

I don't give wishes to thieves. :p

Apache
08-14-2010, 08:46 PM
I don't give wishes to thieves. :p

Imitation is the sincerest(sp?) form of flattery...:D

PoliCon
08-14-2010, 09:04 PM
Imitation is the sincerest(sp?) form of flattery...:D

GINGER!!! APACHE is being a turd! :mad: Make him stop! :D

Rockntractor
08-14-2010, 09:25 PM
Wish granted. The goats have ate the apples, littered your lawn, found a home in the left open garage and your new roommate Rockntractor is late with his rent.

I wish I could fly.

Oh you will fly when Ginger sees this!:eek:

RobJohnson
08-14-2010, 09:26 PM
Oh you will fly when Ginger sees this!:eek:


LOL!!!! :D

RobJohnson
08-14-2010, 09:31 PM
Your wish is granted. Satanicus instead insists that you pay with sexual favors and he's big enough to make you do it. So now you're left lying in the fetal position in the corner wishing you were dead - but hey - you have a cogent argument... :eek:


I wish I could make a profit.

Your first large return on investment check finally came. However, Bank of Obama went under & you can't cash the check!

I wish I could quit having strange dreams at night.

Sonnabend
08-15-2010, 01:49 AM
I wish I could quit having strange dreams at night.

Granted. Helen Thomas has come to your bed to make them all come true. :D

I wish I could know the future.

m00
08-15-2010, 09:11 AM
Granted. Helen Thomas has come to your bed to make them all come true. :D

I wish I could know the future.

There is no need to grant your wish, because you already know what's going to happen.

I wish I could get Natural American Spirits in Canada.

Sonnabend
08-15-2010, 09:16 AM
I wish I could get Natural American Spirits in Canada.Granted. You will be drowned in 400 proof brandy from Kentucky at dawn tomorrow. :D

I wish Satanicus had a brain.

m00
08-15-2010, 09:32 AM
Granted. You will be drowned in 400 proof brandy from Kentucky at dawn tomorrow. :D

I wish Satanicus had a brain.

Granted, he now has a brain so large and powerful, he's capable of enslaving the human race through his psychic powers. The first thing he does, is make you love Obama.

I wish Sonnabend was the target of my next poisoned wish.

PoliCon
08-15-2010, 09:51 AM
Granted, he now has a brain so large and powerful, he's capable of enslaving the human race through his psychic powers. The first thing he does, is make you love Obama.

I wish Sonnabend was the target of my next poisoned wish.

Your wish is granted. Except that Sonnabend will have to be the target for all your poisoned wishes and all your conversations and everything else as well. You see, Iran started a Nuclear war and you and Sonna are the only two people left alive in the world.


I wish that mornings didn't come so early in the day.

RobJohnson
08-15-2010, 11:14 AM
Granted. Helen Thomas has come to your bed to make them all come true. :D



Yikes! :D

Sonnabend
08-16-2010, 04:23 AM
I wish that mornings didn't come so early in the day.Granted. A 200 piece brass band will be along every morning at 5am to make sure you get the most out of your day :D

I wish that I owned the entire Judge Dredd collection.