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Articulate_Ape
08-15-2010, 05:23 PM
Man, this site is a laugh riot (http://clientsfromhell.net/)! :D




Me: “Okay, let’s start from the beginning. Is your computer’s power cable plugged in?”

Client: “Yes.”

Me: “What is it plugged in to?”

Client: “The power strip.”

Me: “Is the power strip on?”

Client: “Yes. It is in the on position, but no lights are lit up.”

Me: “What is the power strip plugged in to?”

Client: “The power strip…”



Back story: this was a redesign to add a product directory to a magazine website.

Client: ”I want you to bury all the links for the magazine at the bottom of the page.”

Me: “Wait, you don’t want them in the nav bar? At all?”

Client: “No, I want the product guide to be the only thing that matters.”

Me: ”What happens if someone comes to the site to subscribe to the magazine?”

Client: “Fuck ‘em.”

A year later, the magazine folded.


Hilarity!
PoliCon
08-15-2010, 05:47 PM
Client: “How come all the photos I took have the heads cut off?”

Me: “Hmm, Did you look though the view finder when you took them?”

Client: “I don’t know what that is. Can’t you just move the picture up so I can see their heads? I mean they’re digital pictures?”


ROTFLMAO!
Articulate_Ape
08-15-2010, 05:50 PM
ROTFLMAO!

Heh. I killed almost an hour on that site. There be pure gold there.
warpig
08-15-2010, 07:40 PM
Client: “How about we pay you in free alcohol?”

Me: “Only if I can make your poster out of macaroni noodles.”



“Left click? But the mouse is in my right hand….

:D
PoliCon
08-15-2010, 07:59 PM
Heh. I killed almost an hour on that site. There be pure gold there.

Some of them had me wanting to hurt the 'client' out of pure sympathy.
NJCardFan
08-15-2010, 11:43 PM
When I worked for American Airlines in reservations, the guy sitting next to me got a call from a guy who wanted to fly in cargo in a pet cage. This turned into a supervisor call. If you truly want to experience clients from hell, work for an airline.

And here's a client that needs to be strapped to a chair and beaten with hammers:



Me: “Here are the designs, and, with your approval, we’ll code them and put them up in a couple of days.”

Client: “Why aren’t they up now?”

Me: “We require client approval before we put up the final product, in order to make any changes.”

Client: “I wanted it up yesterday.”

Me: “Well, this is the first time that we’ve had a chance to meet in person and go over the designs.”

Client: “But I wanted it put up yesterday.”

Me: “I had emailed these to you for approval, but you never responded.”

Client: “I thought you would just put it up.”

Me: “Not without your approval, sir.”

Client: “Well, put it up.”

A week later.

Client: “You know what, there are a few changes I need you to make… I can’t believe you put that up.”
noonwitch
08-16-2010, 02:29 PM
I thought this was about my job.
cajunrevenge
08-17-2010, 05:34 PM
When I worked at Pizza Hut I had someone try to pay for their order with stuffed animals. And yes, this was a grown man.
ralph wiggum
08-17-2010, 05:45 PM
When I worked at Pizza Hut I had someone try to pay for their order with stuffed animals. And yes, this was a grown man.

Just clicked the link and look what was right near the top?


“I don’t have the money right now. Could I pay you with some of our puppies? How many do you need?