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View Full Version : Mayo Versus Miracle Whip - Part VIII



Odysseus
08-24-2010, 11:00 AM
Ugh... now I like mayo. Goes on all my sandwhiches, burgers, etc... but I can't just eat the struff straight up. Japanese had a habit of doing that, and it just made my skin crawl.

You would go into a restaurant, and you could order things like a side of rice, or kimchi, or mayo... Or at the sushi bar, they got the plates on the converybelt going by and you see a roll of seaweed with a bed of rice about 1/4 in thick, and the rest of it was filled with mayo. *sighs*

Well, I meant on sandwiches.

I have a buddy who stayed with me years ago when I lived in NYC. He was from Iowa and one night, we went out to the corner deli for sandwiches. He ordered a ham and mayo on white bread and the counter guy did a double take. From then on, Mr. Kim called him "Whitebread Mayo." :D

CueSi
08-24-2010, 02:06 PM
Mayonnaise makes me puke. I don't know how humans can consume that crap.

~QC

Shannon
08-24-2010, 02:29 PM
Mayonnaise makes me puke. I don't know how humans can consume that crap.

~QC

Mayo is the condiment of The Gods. :D

Odysseus
08-24-2010, 02:40 PM
Mayonnaise makes me puke. I don't know how humans can consume that crap.

~QC
You've never had chicken salad or tuna salad? At least you like Depeche Mode. :D

Mayo is the condiment of The Gods. :D
It comes in third, behind nectar and ambrosia. :D

PoliCon
08-24-2010, 02:56 PM
Mayonnaise makes me puke. I don't know how humans can consume that crap.

~QC

no wonder you're a lesbian. :p

Gingersnap
08-24-2010, 03:04 PM
Mayo is the condiment of The Gods. :D

And God wanted us to study food chemistry, hence Miracle Whip. He didn't call it 'Miracle" for nothing. :p

Shannon
08-24-2010, 03:11 PM
And God wanted us to study food chemistry, hence Miracle Whip. He didn't call it 'Miracle" for nothing. :p

I was waiting on you.:p A thread about wiggers is going to turn into another Mayo Vs. Miracle Whip thread. Ya gotta love this place.

Rebel Yell
08-24-2010, 03:12 PM
I was waiting on you.:p A thread about wiggers is going to turn into another Mayo Vs. Miracle Whip thread. Ya gotta love this place.

Miracle Whip sucks.

Shannon
08-24-2010, 03:16 PM
Miracle Whip sucks.

I am aware of your opinion. I am your evil (younger) twin. ;)

PoliCon
08-24-2010, 03:17 PM
I was waiting on you.:p A thread about wiggers is going to turn into another Mayo Vs. Miracle Whip thread. Ya gotta love this place.

What do you expect? Miracle Whips is the wigger of the condiment world. ;)

Rebel Yell
08-24-2010, 03:17 PM
I am aware of your opinion. I am your evil (younger) twin. ;)

Tastes like somebody pissed in the Mayo.

CueSi
08-24-2010, 03:57 PM
no wonder you're a lesbian. :p

Bisexual, actually... though I guess a bisexual that doesn't sleep with YOU may as well be a lesbian.


You've never had chicken salad or tuna salad? At least you like Depeche Mode. :D

It comes in third, behind nectar and ambrosia. :D

Nope... I actually make my tuna salad with mustard. Good shit. . .Yup . . . my friend in SLC is devoted to DM, so I couldn't escape it. You haven't lived till you dance on a table drunk to "Policy of Truth".

Wait... YOU like dM? My. Mind. Is. Blown.


Mayo is the condiment of The Gods. :D

Which one? Hades?


~QC

bijou
08-24-2010, 04:14 PM
I have never had Miracle Whip and have only seen it in one shop over here. It was suspiciously cheap and looked like a jar of white paint, however I may be forced to go back to the shop to see if it is still in stock and buy some. However it is unlikely it is going to taste better than mayonnaise.

djones520
08-24-2010, 04:17 PM
Bisexual, actually... though I guess a bisexual that doesn't sleep with YOU may as well be a lesbian.

~QC

OH SNAP!

jendf
08-24-2010, 04:17 PM
Mayo is the condiment of The Gods. :D

+1

djones520
08-24-2010, 04:18 PM
I have never had Miracle Whip and have only seen it in one shop over here. It was suspiciously cheap and looked like a jar of white paint, however I may be forced to go back to the shop to see if it is still in stock and buy some. However it is unlikely it is going to taste better than mayonnaise.

It's tangier. I'll take either or, but I think I'd prefer regular mayo.

Gingersnap
08-24-2010, 04:24 PM
I have never had Miracle Whip and have only seen it in one shop over here. It was suspiciously cheap and looked like a jar of white paint, however I may be forced to go back to the shop to see if it is still in stock and buy some. However it is unlikely it is going to taste better than mayonnaise.

Well, if snot is your benchmark, then "no". :D

FlaGator
08-24-2010, 04:27 PM
If God made a condiment better than Mayo then he kept it to Himself...

Gingersnap
08-24-2010, 04:30 PM
If God made a condiment better than Mayo then he kept it to Himself...

...And the Elect.

bijou
08-24-2010, 04:30 PM
Well, if snot is your benchmark, then "no". :D

Why the hate for eggs and olive oil? Are you a secret communist for whom only 'proletariat food' is good enough?

Rebel Yell
08-24-2010, 04:44 PM
Why the hate for eggs and olive oil? Are you a secret communist for whom only 'proletariat food' is good enough?

Olive oil Mayo is NOT mayo. My wife buys that shit since my cholesterol is slightly high. When we have a cookout, she buys the good stuff. Then the olive oil crap sits in the fridge until I run out of mayo.

Gingersnap
08-24-2010, 04:48 PM
Why the hate for eggs and olive oil? Are you a secret communist for whom only 'proletariat food' is good enough?

I'm a birkie-wearing, gun-toting, organic gardener who has a degree in Chemistry. I know better living through chemistry when I taste it.

In my world, most sandwich preparations need nothing but some require horseradish or mustard. A select few need the gentler efforts of a milder but yet tangy condiment - that's Miracle Whip.

I can't believe you would ask me this since you people eat yeast paste and think it's patriotic.

bijou
08-24-2010, 04:49 PM
Olive oil Mayo is NOT mayo. My wife buys that shit since my cholesterol is slightly high. When we have a cookout, she buys the good stuff. Then the olive oil crap sits in the fridge until I run out of mayo.

Technically mayo can be made with any oil, but I've only ever made it with olive oil.

Rebel Yell
08-24-2010, 04:53 PM
Technically mayo can be made with any oil, but I've only ever made it with olive oil.

I'm talking about Kraft Olive Oil Mayo. It's alright on a sandwich with mustard, but DON'T LICK THE SPOON.

PoliCon
08-24-2010, 04:54 PM
Bisexual, actually... though I guess a bisexual that doesn't sleep with YOU may as well be a lesbian.

OH PLEASE. In the words of the immortal Andrew Dice Clay -


And bisexuals. Let me explain something to you. There is no bisexual. You either suck dick, or you do not suck dick. I mean, what do these guys do, get up in the morning and flip a coin to decide? Heads I want hairpie, tails- balls across the nose! Oh!

:p:p:p:p

bijou
08-24-2010, 04:56 PM
I'm a birkie-wearing, gun-toting, organic gardener who has a degree in Chemistry. I know better living through chemistry when I taste it.

In my world, most sandwich preparations need nothing but some require horseradish or mustard. A select few need the gentler efforts of a milder but yet tangy condiment - that's Miracle Whip.

I can't believe you would ask me this since you people eat yeast paste and think it's patriotic.



MIRACLE WHIP - DRESSING - ORIGINAL
Ingredients: WATER, SOYBEAN OIL, VINEGAR, SUGAR, MODIFIED CORNSTARCH, EGGS, CONTAINS LESS THAN 2% OF SALT, MUSTARD FLOUR, PAPRIKA, SPICE, NATURAL FLAVOR, POTASSIUM SORBATE AS A PRESERVATIVE, ENZYME MODIFIED EGG YOLK, DRIED GARLIC. CONTAINS: EGG.
Size: 60 OZ
Upc: 2100064515

This is a Kosher Product
http://www.kraftrecipes.com/Products/ProductInfoDisplay.aspx?SiteId=1&Product=2100064515

Nom, nom, nom I love that 'natural flavor'. :D

hampshirebrit
08-24-2010, 04:58 PM
Mayo is the condiment of The Gods. :D

Jesus invented mayonnaise, didn't he? :confused:

hampshirebrit
08-24-2010, 05:00 PM
Technically mayo can be made with any oil, but I've only ever made it with olive oil.

I'm crap at mayo. Delia has let me down on mayo, big-time. :mad:

Gingersnap
08-24-2010, 05:03 PM
Jesus invented mayonnaise, didn't he? :confused:

No, but had He seen a need for such a condiment, He would have. So now we know that mayo is not just snot-like but unbiblical.

Thanks, Hamp. :D

bijou
08-24-2010, 05:05 PM
I'm crap at mayo. Delia has let me down on mayo, big-time. :mad:

I've just googled her recipe, she uses groundnut oil, is that what went wrong? Olive oil is the way to go.

hampshirebrit
08-24-2010, 05:09 PM
No, but had He seen a need for such a condiment, He would have. So now we know that mayo is not just snot-like but unbiblical.



Hah! I'm very impressed!! :p



Thanks, Hamp. :D

You're most welcome, it was entirely my pleasure. :)

hampshirebrit
08-24-2010, 05:12 PM
I've just googled her recipe, she uses groundnut oil, is that what went wrong? Olive oil is the way to go.

Damn it, she does. I half rescued one one time, the other three I tried went tits up.

Thanks, Bijou, yet again.

Odysseus
08-24-2010, 05:43 PM
Bisexual, actually... though I guess a bisexual that doesn't sleep with YOU may as well be a lesbian.


Nope... I actually make my tuna salad with mustard. Good shit. . .Yup . . . my friend in SLC is devoted to DM, so I couldn't escape it. You haven't lived till you dance on a table drunk to "Policy of Truth".

Wait... YOU like dM? My. Mind. Is. Blown.
~QC
I love dM, and OMD, the Ramones, Blondie, Patty Smythe and Scandal, pretty much anything late 70's-early 90's.... Remember, I grew up in NYC and spent my adolescence in the shadow of CBGB's.

I make my chicken salad with ranch dressing now, but in honor of my musical past, I leave in the safety pins. :D


Jesus invented mayonnaise, didn't he? :confused:
No, that was Moses. Exodus 16:14 (21st Century King James Version):

14And when the dew that lay had gone up, behold, upon the face of the wilderness there lay a small round thing, as small as the hoarfrost on the ground. And Moses spake unto the Israelites, saying gather up the manna, and take eggs and oil, but not the oil of the olive, lest you be afflicted with high cholesterol, and when you have ground and baked the manna, give unto it a little schmere of the mayonaise which ye have made from the eggs and oil, and you will have a good nosh.

hampshirebrit
08-24-2010, 06:14 PM
No, that was Moses. Exodus 16:14 (21st Century King James Version):

14And when the dew that lay had gone up, behold, upon the face of the wilderness there lay a small round thing, as small as the hoarfrost on the ground. And Moses spake unto the Israelites, saying gather up the manna, and take eggs and oil, but not the oil of the olive, lest you be afflicted with high cholesterol, and when you have ground and baked the manna, give unto it a little schmere of the mayonaise which ye have made from the eggs and oil, and you will have a good nosh.

Sorry, Major, my bad. I missed that bit at Sunday School. :p

Gingersnap
08-24-2010, 06:18 PM
Sorry, Major, my bad. I missed that bit at Sunday School. :p

Don't listen to him, he's Messianic. Real Christian sandwich-eaters abide under the New Covenant.

JB
08-24-2010, 07:56 PM
I actually make my tuna salad with mustard.Dude. Wait. What.

That's the third freakiest thing I've ever seen posted on CU.

malloc
08-24-2010, 07:58 PM
Dude. Wait. What.

That's the third freakiest thing I've ever seen posted on CU.

I thought it was weird as well, but then I was trying to work out if it was deli mustard, hot mustard, or regular French's yellow.


Edit: Back in the day living at the Bachelor Pad, we were out of mayo. One of my roomates wanted to make a tuna salad sandwich, so he substituted BBQ sauce. He doesn't recommend it. I think the exact quote was, "most fucking disgusting thing ever near my mouth."

NJCardFan
08-24-2010, 08:01 PM
Hellman's Mayo(or Best Foods for those west of the Mississippi) is the best mayo on the face of the earth. Miracle Whip is good for nothing but making macaroni or potato salad only because it won't spoil when outside on the picnic table.

JB
08-24-2010, 08:01 PM
I thought it was weird as well, but then I was trying to work out if it was deli mustard, hot mustard, or regular French's yellow.I'm not sure it matters bud.

And congrats on 1K. I don't do woot threads so this will have to do.

malloc
08-24-2010, 08:04 PM
I'm not sure it matters bud.

And congrats on 1K. I don't do woot threads so this will have to do.

Thanks!

hampshirebrit
08-24-2010, 09:05 PM
Oh yeah, well done Malloc.

1000 is a good landmark.

CueSi
08-25-2010, 12:45 AM
OH PLEASE. In the words of the immortal Andrew Dice Clay -


And bisexuals. Let me explain something to you. There is no bisexual. You either suck dick, or you do not suck dick. I mean, what do these guys do, get up in the morning and flip a coin to decide? Heads I want hairpie, tails- balls across the nose! Oh!

:p:p

He's talking about bisexual men in that quote.

Like I said... I'm not sucking YOURS. :D

Ralph Wiggum on the other hand...he can give me a call anytime. ;)

~QC

CueSi
08-25-2010, 12:48 AM
I love dM, and OMD, the Ramones, Blondie, Patty Smythe and Scandal, pretty much anything late 70's-early 90's.... Remember, I grew up in NYC and spent my adolescence in the shadow of CBGB's.

I make my chicken salad with ranch dressing now, but in honor of my musical past, I leave in the safety pins. :D


No, that was Moses. Exodus 16:14 (21st Century King James Version):

14And when the dew that lay had gone up, behold, upon the face of the wilderness there lay a small round thing, as small as the hoarfrost on the ground. And Moses spake unto the Israelites, saying gather up the manna, and take eggs and oil, but not the oil of the olive, lest you be afflicted with high cholesterol, and when you have ground and baked the manna, give unto it a little schmere of the mayonaise which ye have made from the eggs and oil, and you will have a good nosh.

Why did someone else have to get to you FIRST!! :p You and my friend in SLC would get along on music. Politics on the other hand? No. Just no.

And your people gave us smoked salmon spread on poppyseed bagels...why would you degenerate yourself into . . . mayonnaise?


Dude. Wait. What.

That's the third freakiest thing I've ever seen posted on CU.

Try it...you'll like it. :D


~QC

PoliCon
08-25-2010, 12:58 AM
He's talking about bisexual men in that quote.

Like I said... I'm not sucking YOURS. :D

Ralph Wiggum on the other hand...he can give me a call anytime. ;)

~QC

You're only saying that because he's a hot chick! :D

NJCardFan
08-25-2010, 01:02 AM
He's talking about bisexual men in that quote.

Like I said... I'm not sucking YOURS. :D

Ralph Wiggum on the other hand...he can give me a call anytime. ;)

~QC
http://simpsonleblog.s.i.pic.centerblog.net/7o6nak0s.gif

Me? That's umpossible.

CueSi
08-25-2010, 02:58 AM
You're only saying that because he's a hot chick! :D

Yes... yes he is... he is a sexy, sexy chick. He just happens to be a sexy chick with a dick. :p

~QC

noonwitch
08-25-2010, 08:41 AM
Hellman's Mayo(or Best Foods for those west of the Mississippi) is the best mayo on the face of the earth. Miracle Whip is good for nothing but making macaroni or potato salad only because it won't spoil when outside on the picnic table.


Even Hellman's Light mayo is good-not "fat free", but "light".
I buy the Meijer brand for pasta salad that I'm adding extra seasonings to, but otherwise it's Hellman's.

Odysseus
08-25-2010, 09:21 AM
Yes... yes he is... he is a sexy, sexy chick. He just happens to be a sexy chick with a dick. :p

~QC

You've just described a pre-op trannie. And yet, mayonaise grosses you out? :confused:

RobJohnson
08-25-2010, 12:23 PM
Dude. Wait. What.

That's the third freakiest thing I've ever seen posted on CU.

What were the first two????

RobJohnson
08-25-2010, 12:26 PM
I can enjoy either mayo or Miracle Whip. I would rather have mayo, but either will work for me!

Odysseus
08-25-2010, 02:52 PM
I can enjoy either mayo or Miracle Whip. I would rather have mayo, but either will work for me!

Does that mean that we have to expand the definition of "bi" to include condiment preferences? :D

CueSi
08-25-2010, 02:55 PM
You've just described a pre-op trannie. And yet, mayonaise grosses you out? :confused:

Why you gotta be so literal with yo' facts and examples. It's Ralph. His hotness trancends gender. :p

And as much as I love my transgirl friends, iCan't - - I just can't. And iCan't with mayo or without either.

~QC

Odysseus
08-25-2010, 03:33 PM
Why you gotta be so literal with yo' facts and examples. It's Ralph. His hotness trancends gender. :p

And as much as I love my transgirl friends, iCan't - - I just can't. And iCan't with mayo or without either.

~QC

Fair enough. But I was alluding to something with a similar texture and color...

So, you do not like the mayonaise.
You do not like it any days.
You will not eat it with a glaze.
You will not put it on your trays.
You will not eat it on a fish,
You will not have it on your dish.
You do not like it on some ham.
You do not like it, Sam I Am

And yet, you hate it, so you says,
but try it, try the mayonaise,
It's white and gooey and it's thick,
and the texture's good and slick,
and if not, with another bud,
you can wrestle like it's mud. :D

RobJohnson
08-25-2010, 06:09 PM
Does that mean that we have to expand the definition of "bi" to include condiment preferences? :D


Ha! :D

CueSi
08-26-2010, 07:19 PM
Fair enough. But I was alluding to something with a similar texture and color...

So, you do not like the mayonaise.
You do not like it any days.
You will not eat it with a glaze.
You will not put it on your trays.
You will not eat it on a fish,
You will not have it on your dish.
You do not like it on some ham.
You do not like it, Sam I Am

And yet, you hate it, so you says,
but try it, try the mayonaise,
It's white and gooey and it's thick,
and the texture's good and slick,
and if not, with another bud,
you can wrestle like it's mud. :D

I don't know what you've been eating, and I'd like to speak to Mrs. O in order to verify, but it does not (or should not) feel like mayo. It's more like ....glue . >blech<

~QC

Odysseus
08-26-2010, 11:10 PM
I don't know what you've been eating, and I'd like to speak to Mrs. O in order to verify, but it does not (or should not) feel like mayo. It's more like ....glue . >blech<

~QC

No, that's a different Dr. Seuss (Fox in Socks: "New blue goo for chewy chewing," bedtime reading to my two girls has made me an expert). But, if you want to discuss condiments with the Mrs., be my guest.