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Speedy
09-05-2010, 10:19 PM
I have raised 4 girls. Two with my first wife and two with Yvette. A month ago Deeanna showed up. A pissed off teen full of angst. I have never raised a kid on my own like this. Especially one that was so troubled. She has been a handfull but love, trust and loyalty will break even the widest kid. I have grown to love this one, and inspite of her best efforts not to, she is starting to love me.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y236/speed_addiction/100_2090_800x533.jpg

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y236/speed_addiction/100_2089_800x533.jpg

RobJohnson
09-05-2010, 10:26 PM
At this point in her life she is lucky to have a roof over her head. I hope she appreciates you!

NJCardFan
09-05-2010, 10:47 PM
It's never easy. But you seem to be doing a great job.

Kay
09-05-2010, 11:23 PM
She looks really pretty in that second picture.
I can't think of anything more horrid than raising a teenage girl.
She may not let it show for years, but after she's fully grown
she'll appreciate everything you're doing for her.

Speedy
09-06-2010, 01:49 AM
It's never easy. But you seem to be doing a great job.

It really is not easy. It took her two whole days to fuck up at school. I used to help an uncle of mine break horses in Miles, Texas when I was a kid. He always said, "You let a horse know the spurs are there. You just try to never use them."

I try to go this route with Deeanna. Trust is a big issue as she went through a lot with her mom and the men she brought home at times. It is not going to be easy, but it is never meant to be.

Speedy
09-06-2010, 01:56 AM
She looks really pretty in that second picture.
I can't think of anything more horrid than raising a teenage girl.
She may not let it show for years, but after she's fully grown
she'll appreciate everything you're doing for her.

She has my dark olive skin and hair and her mother's green eyes.

Not one thing I do for her is done to her detriment, no matter what she thinks now.

malloc
09-06-2010, 06:53 AM
She has my dark olive skin and hair and her mother's green eyes.

Not one thing I do for her is done to her detriment, no matter what she thinks now.

Maybe you could give her a little shove into the military? I'm not saying you are a bad dad, I'm just making an observation that the military is really, really, good at shaping a kid to work for goals, and to become an infinitely more productive citizen. Maybe I'm speaking out of turn, but I've had a step sister, with similar social problems do really well in the Navy. I'm not saying that our military is run entirely on those in weak situations with few options, I'm just saying for every person who has every option and goes into Westpoint, and then comes out a leader there are twelve who go into enlistment, and comes out the same. If she has a sense of pride, or person, and won't give up, she'd probably do well in the military.

m00
09-06-2010, 11:03 AM
Does she know you are putting pictures of her up on the internet?

Speedy
09-07-2010, 12:03 AM
Does she know you are putting pictures of her up on the internet?

Yes. she even chooses the ones I put up.

noonwitch
09-07-2010, 11:44 AM
You've had her a month-a strong father/daughter relationship is not built in 30 days.


Her life was totally upended when she came to live with you. She is as shocked by the turn of events as you and the rest of the family are. 30 days is what we social workers call "the Honeymoon phase". Now, you get to see the real girl, not the one who was eager to please everyone in her new surroundings.

Do you have a church with a youth pastor/youth group? That might be a good thing for her to get involved with, or Young Life, if they have it in your community. Pastors are good counselors for teens, because they can't and don't prescribe drugs, yet they have enough training usually to know when someone they are meeting with needs that kind of treatment and send him or her on to a shrink.

Speedy
09-07-2010, 01:37 PM
She wants to please, but has anger issues. She loves my mom. She is my daughter and I do not want fall short since I have not been around until now. She is getting over the culture shock of her city mouse in the country mouse enviroment. She has a genuine interest in horses though and I am seriously considering getting her one. Some responsibility would not be a bad thing.

I am also going to get her involved in church activities and youth group.