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View Full Version : I Knew this Would Happen.



Speedy
09-14-2010, 11:59 AM
Several weeks ago, I had my daughter Deeanna dropped on me. I had never met her before, did not even know about her but since her mother was going to prison I took her in. I knew it was not going to be easy, but this girl is full of issues and keeping her out of trouble and knocking some sense into her head until she graduates from high school and either joins the military or goes to college is not going to be easy or enjoyable, though it may be fullfilling if I am successfull.

Early in the summer I met a woman who has turned out to be everything I ever wanted in a woman. Gorgeous, great body, intelligent. We enjoy each other's company and our times together are great.

She and Deeanna hate each other.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y236/speed_addiction/100_2094_800x533.jpg

Gingersnap
09-14-2010, 12:31 PM
You'd better get out of the Dating Game until your daughter moves out of the house.

noonwitch
09-14-2010, 01:31 PM
You could try counseling with you, your girlfriend and your daughter. Or just individual counseling for your daughter. You didn't even know of her existence until she was dropped into your life by her mother, who you have said is now serving time for a drug charge. You don't know what kind of life your daughter led when she lived with her mother, or what kind of people her mother exposed her to, but it probably wasn't the Cleavers or the Bradys.


Just be careful never to express to your daughter that you are going to choose a woman over her. If you do that, you will verify any feelings she has of being worthless that she may have picked up due to her mom choosing criminal activities and the consequences of not making her daughter the number one priority in her life. You don't even have to say it that way or even mean it for her to jump to that conclusion.


I know I'm one of the resident liberals here and all, but dealing with teenagers is my professional specialty. A coworker and I are known as the "workers of last resort" at my office for teenaged girls who can't get along with other workers.

Speedy
09-14-2010, 05:04 PM
Got her report card today. Only failing one class and that was by just a couple of points so a little more diligent study and that should come right up.

The way things are with my girlfriend and I is that we only see each other on weekends and holidays and do not plan on moving in together for a while. My girlfriend says she feels she was the victim of a bait and switch. She wanted a man who did not still have kids under his roof or was raising grandkids. I was seeking the same thing in a woman by the way. Then when I have her on the hook, Deeanna shows up. I want to make them both happy if possible and avoid any drama.

Rockntractor
09-14-2010, 05:10 PM
The daughter is yours, the girl friend is just that, a friend. If the girlfriend is a problem you know what you need to do.

Speedy
09-14-2010, 05:14 PM
The daughter is yours, the girl friend is just t that, a friend. If the girlfriend is a problem you know what you need to do.

If forced to choose, I will choose Deanna. If it is just a turf war between two women, I will let them settle it themselves.:D

Gingersnap
09-14-2010, 05:39 PM
I want to make them both happy if possible and avoid any drama.

Speedy, this is by far the stupidest thing I've ever seen you post.

This is your adult girlfriend and your estranged daughter we're talking about. They are not your riding buddies. They are not your shooting buddies. They aren't even your drinking buddies. These women will not "leave you out of it". You are no longer in the position of waiting for the drama to happen - it has already been triggered. You're simply waiting to see exactly how destructive it will be over time.

You have this responsibility to your kid and that has to come first, however, it would be tragically unfair to make your issues your girlfriend's problem. You need to set your girlfriend free until your daughter is out of the house. It's gonna be a full-time job undoing your baby mama's mistakes. You don't have time for a girlfriend. ;)

FlaGator
09-14-2010, 05:41 PM
Speedy, this is by far the stupidest thing I've ever seen you post.

<snip>
You've got to be kidding me. I pretty certain that this stupid thing is no more stupid than any other thing he's posted.

Shannon
09-14-2010, 05:44 PM
You've got to be kidding me. I pretty certain that this stupid thing is no more stupid than any other thing he's posted.

No shit.

Gingersnap
09-14-2010, 05:49 PM
You've got to be kidding me. I pretty certain that this stupid thing is no more stupid than any other thing he's posted.

Oh, no. This is perfect storm-stupid. One angry teen-aged girl plus one going-somewhere-serious girlfriend is like the homemade shrapnel grenade of relationship combinations. Somebody will get out of this alive but it won't be Speedy. :p

Speedy
09-14-2010, 05:51 PM
Speedy, this is by far the stupidest thing I've ever seen you post.

This is your adult girlfriend and your estranged daughter we're talking about. They are not your riding buddies. They are not your shooting buddies. They aren't even your drinking buddies. These women will not "leave you out of it". You are no longer in the position of waiting for the drama to happen - it has already been triggered. You're simply waiting to see exactly how destructive it will be over time.

You have this responsibility to your kid and that has to come first, however, it would be tragically unfair to make your issues your girlfriend's problem. You need to set your girlfriend free until your daughter is out of the house. It's gonna be a full-time job undoing your baby mama's mistakes. You don't have time for a girlfriend. ;)

That is what I WANT. I know itis very unlikely to happen. Would be nice if it did happen, though. I know the girl comes first. She will always come first. I am more than willing to give up the woman if I have to. If the woman and I back off a little in our relationship we could let things simmer in a "friends with benefits" level if possible for a while. I think that Deeanna sees my girlfriendf as a threat. As someone I may toss her aside for. This is not going to happen.

Phillygirl
09-14-2010, 06:48 PM
Oh, no. This is perfect storm-stupid. One angry teen-aged girl plus one going-somewhere-serious girlfriend is like the homemade shrapnel grenade of relationship combinations. Somebody will get out of this alive but it won't be Speedy. :p


Oh, come on, you know there are some federales around the corner that will swoop in just when we thought all hope was lost and Speedy will live to spin another tale. You know you can't wait to read the next chapter. Novels are great!

Gingersnap
09-14-2010, 08:00 PM
That is what I WANT. I know itis very unlikely to happen. Would be nice if it did happen, though. I know the girl comes first. She will always come first. I am more than willing to give up the woman if I have to. If the woman and I back off a little in our relationship we could let things simmer in a "friends with benefits" level if possible for a while. I think that Deeanna sees my girlfriendf as a threat. As someone I may toss her aside for. This is not going to happen.

At your ages, it's just unfair to try the 'friends with benefits' thing. This is by all accounts, a very good woman who can do better than you (and I think you know this). Stringing her along for 2 or 3 years isn't right. It's not the kind of complication your daughter needs, either.

If what you say is true, she's already seen too much of adult selfishness that involved bad sexual choices.

Concentrate on the Dad option and tell your lady-friend that you can't be there for her for the next few years.

noonwitch
09-15-2010, 03:36 PM
At your ages, it's just unfair to try the 'friends with benefits' thing. This is by all accounts, a very good woman who can do better than you (and I think you know this). Stringing her along for 2 or 3 years isn't right. It's not the kind of complication your daughter needs, either.

If what you say is true, she's already seen too much of adult selfishness that involved bad sexual choices.

Concentrate on the Dad option and tell your lady-friend that you can't be there for her for the next few years.



Ginger is right on the spot about the lady friend.


I still think your daughter could benefit from some counseling. Not a shrink who uses meds or anything like that, but someone to help her clarify her goals and plans. Her mother took her whole world from her by ending up in prison. That's not an easy thing for a kid to accept, even if you are the best dad in the world. She's angry at her mom, she's angry probably that she never got a chance to know you before now (and out of necessity at that), and she needs someone to talk to or emotionally vent to that's not part of the situation at hand.

Bailey
09-15-2010, 03:44 PM
Oh, come on, you know there are some federales around the corner that will swoop in just when we thought all hope was lost and Speedy will live to spin another tale. You know you can't wait to read the next chapter. Novels are great!

He kind of looks like that guy from the machette movies :D

He might get all bad ass with a blade cut someone.