PDA

View Full Version : Aided by SI issue, Florida man pleasured self in Walmart



bijou
09-15-2010, 04:43 PM
What kind of a guy goes into Walmart, takes a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue from the magazine rack, heads to the store’s toy section, and proceeds to masturbate to completion in the aisle?

Meet William Tyler Black.

The 28-year-old Floridian, a substitute teacher, was arrested yesterday afternoon by Sarasota cops on battery and exposure of sexual organs charges, according to a probable cause affidavit, a copy of which you’ll find here. ...http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/cleanup-aisle-three

You could have had the mugshot but instead I decided to post the magazine cover.


http://i.cdn.turner.com/dr/teg/tsg/release/sites/default/files/imagecache/175xUnlimited/photos/sicoverfront.jpg

Gingersnap
09-15-2010, 04:57 PM
This guy is why Calvin was right about human nature. :cool:

JB
09-15-2010, 05:49 PM
A store employee told cops that Black...wiped his hand on a toy... A police source told TSG that the toy in question was a light saber (apparently of the Star Wars variety)Dude. Not cool.

I know, fapping in the store is not cool either but don't share that shit with the rest of us.

OT: Brooklyn Decker is smo-ho-ho-king hot.

Phillygirl
09-15-2010, 07:16 PM
I don't think the battery charge should stick.

Zathras
09-15-2010, 07:28 PM
A police source told TSG that the toy in question was a lightsaber (apparently of the Star Wars variety)

Wait...there's another franchise that uses lightsabers other than Star Wars? :confused:

m00
09-15-2010, 08:45 PM
Sarasota eh? Lightsabers eh?

:D

m00
09-15-2010, 08:46 PM
He was hit with the battery on a child count since investigators concluded that a “reasonable person would believe that a child would come in contact with the fluid on the toy being that it was left in the toy aisle of the store."

I think this is kinda abusing the law.

NJCardFan
09-15-2010, 10:28 PM
He was hit with the battery on a child count since investigators concluded that a “reasonable person would believe that a child would come in contact with the fluid on the toy being that it was left in the toy aisle of the store."

I think this is kinda abusing the law.

Actually, no. He wiped his hands on a toy. Had an employee not seen him do it, some kid could have picked that toy up all covered in spooge. If you are a parent, how do you feel about that?

m00
09-15-2010, 10:31 PM
Actually, no. He wiped his hands on a toy. Had an employee not seen him do it, some kid could have picked that toy up all covered in spooge. If you are a parent, how do you feel about that?

That's a false dichotomy. There are plenty of charges that represent the severity of the crime that are not "battery of a child." And even then, shouldn't it be attempted battery of a child anyway?

He's being charged with a crime because it could have happened. Nobody else sees the problem with that?

fettpett
09-16-2010, 07:49 AM
That's a false dichotomy. There are plenty of charges that represent the severity of the crime that are not "battery of a child." And even then, shouldn't it be attempted battery of a child anyway?

He's being charged with a crime because it could have happened. Nobody else sees the problem with that?

I agree with you, "battery of a Child" is probably the dumbest one they could have picked. I'm not sure what else they could have chosen however.

this dude's actions are disgusting

NJCardFan
09-16-2010, 09:27 AM
That's a false dichotomy. There are plenty of charges that represent the severity of the crime that are not "battery of a child." And even then, shouldn't it be attempted battery of a child anyway?

He's being charged with a crime because it could have happened. Nobody else sees the problem with that?

To be honest, they probably were loading him up with charges. The DA will decide what to actually charge him with. And rest assured, there is going to be some lawyer trying to get this guy acquitted.

ralph wiggum
09-16-2010, 11:41 AM
Why is the swimsuit issue still on newsstands? The issue came out in February. :confused:

obx
09-16-2010, 11:47 AM
Why is the swimsuit issue still on newsstands? The issue came out in February. :confused:

Maybe it was stuck to the shelf.
________
TRIUMPH SPEED TRIPLE (http://www.cyclechaos.com/wiki/Triumph_Speed_Triple)

Bubba Dawg
09-16-2010, 12:10 PM
Maybe it was stuck to the shelf.

Give that man a seegar!!!!

Nice.

Bubba Dawg
09-16-2010, 12:12 PM
To be honest, they probably were loading him up with charges. The DA will decide what to actually charge him with. And rest assured, there is going to be some lawyer trying to get this guy acquitted.

Maybe the lawyer will convince the jury thaqt it was all just a joke, that the guy was just poking fun at himself.

noonwitch
09-16-2010, 12:25 PM
To be honest, they probably were loading him up with charges. The DA will decide what to actually charge him with. And rest assured, there is going to be some lawyer trying to get this guy acquitted.


As Pee Wee Herman found out the difficult way, the State of Florida does not look upon public masturbation (even in an adult porn theater, which I thought was all about masturbation) lightly. I think they will be toughter on someone doing it in WalMart.

m00
09-16-2010, 11:04 PM
To be honest, they probably were loading him up with charges. The DA will decide what to actually charge him with. And rest assured, there is going to be some lawyer trying to get this guy acquitted.

I don't want him to get acquitted. :p I just want him to be charged with an applicable crime that he's actually guilty of, and have the punishment fit the severity of the crime. Without having to go through DA/Defense attorney lawyering nonsense.

Rockntractor
09-16-2010, 11:14 PM
I don't want him to get acquitted. :p I just want him to be charged with an applicable crime that he's actually guilty of, and have the punishment fit the severity of the crime. Without having to go through DA/Defense attorney lawyering nonsense.
I agree with you, but because this man was charged with any sex crime he will never again be able too live in peace anywhere. If these people are not safe to be loose in society they should be kept in secure facilities for the criminally insane but instead they are released among us to repeat their assaults and not allowed to live anywhere. This part of our justice system needs to be given some serious thought!

Gingersnap
09-16-2010, 11:21 PM
I agree with you, but because this man was charged with any sex crime he will never again be able too live in peace anywhere. If these people are not safe to be loose in society they should be kept in secure facilities for the criminally insane but instead they are released among us to repeat their assaults and not allowed to live anywhere. This part of our justice system needs to be given some serious thought!

Dude! The guy jacked off publicly and in the toy aisle. That's repulsive and it deserves punishment (like being on a chain gang for a year) but it's not worth a life sentence.

Most kids who are sexually assaulted are attacked by their own relatives, Mom's lovers, or a close family friend. They are not attacked by the sexually confused among the People of Wal-Mart. :p

Rockntractor
09-16-2010, 11:26 PM
Dude! The guy jacked off publicly and in the toy aisle. That's repulsive and it deserves punishment (like being on a chain gang for a year) but it's not worth a life sentence.

Most kids who are sexually assaulted are attacked by their own relatives, Mom's lovers, or a close family friend. They are not attacked by the sexually confused among the People of Wal-Mart. :p
Read what I said more closely, he will be put on a sex offender list just like a rapist for the rest of his life. People that commit these lesser crimes should not, rapists will never be safe no matter what list they are on. it does not matter what the specific sex crimes that he will be charged with, his life is ruined forever.
And you don't think the system should be changed?:rolleyes:

Gingersnap
09-16-2010, 11:37 PM
Read what I said more closely, he will be put on a sex offender list just like a rapist for the rest of his life. People that commit these lesser crimes should not, rapists will never be safe no matter what list they are on. it does not matter what the specific sex crimes that he will be charged with, his life is ruined forever.
And you don't think the system should be changed?:rolleyes:

I do think it should be changed. I did that thing to find about the sex criminals by my home. Jesus wept. 98% percent of these people were peeing while drunk or dating inappropriately (not dating 10 year olds, either). The other 2% had a he said/she said thing.

I think rational people know when something is a real "sex crime" versus just crazy weirdness. I hope so, anyway.

m00
09-16-2010, 11:38 PM
I think rational people know when something is a real "sex crime" versus just crazy weirdness. I hope so, anyway.

I dunno. I think the government is so keen on labels because people are so prone to buy into them.

Rockntractor
09-16-2010, 11:40 PM
About two years ago a sign was erected in a yard about two miles from me, it had an arrow pointing at the house across the street and said a sex offender lives there. the sign was four foot by six foot in bold letters.
Upon investigation I found out this man had not raped or hurt anyone, he was busted in OK City for soliciting a prostitute and was placed on the sex crime list.
He was hounded and vilified until he moved a year later.

Gingersnap
09-16-2010, 11:55 PM
About two years ago a sign was erected in a yard about two miles from me, it had an arrow pointing at the house across the street and said a sex offender lives there. the sign was four foot by six foot in bold letters.
Upon investigation I found out this man had not raped or hurt anyone, he was busted in OK City for soliciting a prostitute and was placed on the sex crime list.
He was hounded and vilified until he moved a year later.

I find this whole concept to be repulsive beyond belief. Like most women, I've been sexually harassed and even touched in an unwanted way. In the first kind of instance, the whistling or comments in no way impacted my life, in the second, I retaliated - viciously. While I understand that not all women can do that, I also understand that most women simply don't - even if a well placed punch would not only end the problem but do so without the horrifying court/mediation thing.

But the majority of "sex offenders" today aren't sex offenders at all. They are in consensual relationships with under-age girls or they are somehow "naked in public".

Nobody at all is talking about the huge number of public school teachers who sexually assault kids or the even greater number of Mom-lovers who do it.

Rockntractor
09-17-2010, 12:04 AM
I find this whole concept to be repulsive beyond belief. Like most women, I've been sexually harassed and even touched in an unwanted way. In the first kind of instance, the whistling or comments in no way impacted my life, in the second, I retaliated - viciously. While I understand that not all women can do that, I also understand that most women simply don't - even if a well placed punch would not only end the problem but do so without the horrifying court/mediation thing.

But the majority of "sex offenders" today aren't sex offenders at all. They are in consensual relationships with under-age girls or they are somehow "naked in public".

Nobody at all is talking about the huge number of public school teachers who sexually assault kids or the even greater number of Mom-lovers who do it.

Unfortunately when all sexual crime is painted with this broad brush, forcible rapists disappear into the middle and aren't given the punishment and attention they should.

Gingersnap
09-17-2010, 12:06 AM
Unfortunately when all sexual crime is painted with this broad brush, forcible rapists disappear into the middle and aren't given the punishment and attention they should.

That's all too true. :(

Bubba Dawg
09-17-2010, 12:39 AM
I don't think the battery charge should stick.

It won't. I checked the fine print on the toy light saber and it clearly said, battery not included.

Rockntractor
09-17-2010, 12:40 AM
It won't. I checked the fine print on the toy light saber and it clearly said, battery not included.

I hope you didn't plug it in!:eek:

Bubba Dawg
09-17-2010, 12:43 AM
I hope you didn't plug it in!:eek:

I felt a great disturbance in the Force.