View Full Version : Backlash Grows Over TSA's 'Naked Strip Searches'..Resistance Spreads....

11-11-2010, 06:21 PM

Old: TSA=Thousands Standing Around.
New: TSA=Thousands Squeezing Asses.

Two months ago, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano announced that the federal stimulus legislation would pay for the purchase of hundreds of controversial full-body scanners.

"Through the Recovery Act, we are able to continue our accelerated deployment of enhanced technology as part of our layered approach to security at airports nationwide," Napolitano said at the time.

Since then, the number of scanners has roughly doubled since Napolitano's announcement and are now found in 68 U.S. airports, and the Transportation Security Administration says the controversial devices have proven to be a success.

"We have received minimal complaints," a TSA spokeswoman told CNET yesterday. She said that the agency, part of DHS, keeps track of air traveler complaints and has not seen a significant rise.

A growing number of airline passengers, labor unions, and advocacy groups, however, say the new procedures--a choice of full-body scans or what the TSA delicately calls "enhanced patdowns"--go too far. (They were implemented without much fanfare in late October, amid lingering questions (PDF) about whether travelers are always offered a choice of manual screening.)

Unions representing U.S. Airways pilots, American Airlines pilots, and some flight attendants are advising their members to skip the full-body scans, even if it means that their genitals are touched. Air travelers are speaking out online, with a woman saying in a YouTube video her breasts were "twisted," and ExpressJet pilot Michael Roberts emerging as an instant hero after he rejected both the body scanning and "enhanced patdowns" options and was unceremoniously ejected from the security line from Memphis International Airport.

One lawsuit has been filed and at least two more are being contemplated. There are snarky suggestions for what TSA actually stands for, attempts at grope-induced erotic fiction, and now even a movie.


Calypso Jones
11-22-2010, 11:39 AM
HEY. NO problems HERE:

A former Orlando TSA security officer arrested for allegedly molesting a minor pleaded no contest to one charge today and was sentenced to 10 years' sex-offender probation.

A victim told deputies Bennett asked her to be his sex slave and fondled her against her will.

When Charles Henry Bennett was arrested last year, he was employed by the Transportation Security Administration. Now he is unemployed, his attorney said in court.


11-22-2010, 02:13 PM
I have a really simple solution: Don't fly.

I haven't been on a plane since 1984. If I'm traveling in the lower 48, I'm driving or taking Amtrack. I hate planes, they are so uncomfortable. If I ever go to europe, or to visit the child I sponsor in Kenya, I'll have to get over my dislike of air travel, but as long as I am traveling domestically, I can avoid it.

11-22-2010, 02:30 PM
Simple solution? I go to Europe at least yearly (went twice, this year), and I don't get enough vacation time to go by ocean liner each way.

11-22-2010, 02:34 PM
Simple solution? I go to Europe at least yearly (went twice, this year), and I don't get enough vacation time to go by ocean liner each way.

Retire..then you will have plenty of time. Problem solved.

11-22-2010, 03:17 PM
Oh, that's what I'll do when I retire, but I don't intend to put my life on hold until then.

11-22-2010, 03:26 PM
Today's American Spectator had a great column on this, but the real pleasure was in the comments section. Some of them were hysterical. A few samples:

Booger| 11.22.10 @ 6:11AM
From the desk of Janet Napolitano:

Re: Recruitment and training of TSA airport screeners.

It has come to my attention that some of our TSA employees have expressed a certain amount of discomfort with the use of full-body scans and the accompanying "grope the rope" or "press the chest" searches that are mandatory for those opting out of our high-powered (but perfectly safe) X-ray machines. While I appreciate that the use of any new technology may be somewhat disconcerting at first, it is our obligation to make sure that we perform our assigned function flawlessly, without regard for our personal feelings for the manner in which we conduct ourselves on the job.

To expedite this flawless function, I am immediately implementing the following hiring and training policies for our personnel. Please be advised that Attorney General Eric Holder has reviewed these policies and assures me that they are both legal and Constitutional, and that President Obama has personally expressed to me his full support for these policies.

1) In all future background checks, we will now give preference to individuals who have arrest and/or conviction records for such offenses as indecent exposure, voyeurism and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. It is the finding of our psychology department that these individuals will be far less likely to flinch from performing their required duties while taking nude X-ray pictures and feeling up passengers. Additionally, any individual who has been successfully sued for sexual harassment should be given preference in the hiring process, especially if the harassment in question involved "inappropriate" touching. It is the finding of this office that such individuals have the moxie to do what needs to be done to accomplish our mission. Finally, extra preference should be given to any individual who meets the above criteria AND is sexually oriented towards members of his/her own gender. It is our belief that these individuals will be highly motivated to provide an extra-thorough touch to their job performance.

2) For those screeners who still blanch at doing their duty for their country due to "moral scruples" or other such nonsense, our psychologists have developed a training regimen which they assure me will bring them around in a hurry. These screeners will be required to view no fewer than four (4) consecutive hours of same-sex pornography (the gender of the performers will be the same as the gender of the TSA screener) at least twice a week. It is the view of our psychologists that repeated exposure to this material will, over time, break down these screeners reluctance to "get a grip" on their job duties, and thus improve their performance.

3) As per our previous guidelines, please be aware that the following groups are considered especially dangerous, and should receive extra attention from our new screening procedures:
a) U.S. military personnel returning from war zones or headed to war zones.
b) Individuals wearing garb readily identifiable as christian clergy.
c) Individuals sporting any button, decal, t-shirt, hat, logo, etc. identifying themselves as members of the "Tea Party" movement.
d) Elderly or disabled persons using metallic walkers, canes or braces of any sort.
e) Boy Scouts.

4) As per previous guidelines, please be aware that any individual wearing readily identifiable Muslim garb is NOT to be subjected to this screening process for ANY reason. This process is, of course, highly objectionable to practitioners of the peaceable religion of Islam, and could well be construed as profiling. Any TSA screener found to have coerced or attempted to coerce any Muslim to submit to these screening procedures is subject to immediate termination and criminal prosecution.

I hope and expect these new recruitment tools and training tips will be of the utmost value in carrying out our ongoing mission. Remember, only you can prevent profiling.


Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano


Abdul Bin Hussein| 11.22.10 @ 7:39AM
Our plan is working out perfectly. My contacts at CAIR are close to getting waivers for all Muslims concerning screening at airports. It amuses me and my fellow Muslims to see "innocent" infidels humiliated and violated by the very people who are supposed to protect them. You infidels are such sheep. It is very encouaraging to see you submissive you rally are. It will make implementing Sharia all that easier.

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LaTundra el Saad bin Achmed| 11.22.10 @ 9:21AM
Alalu Akbar to you this morning, my phlegm-speaking friend. Indeed, these politically-correct infidels are falling for our devious plan like a 7-yr old boy submits to our Prophet! We shall all be exempt from these searches once our law-suit reaches the California 9th circuit.

Though some Americans say they will wear burkas to sneak through security like only us believers should, we will discover these infidels, and stone them with mountain-dew cans in coach class.

Indeed, most of these Americans are sheep, my friend. In fact, I am getting a boner thinking of this, as I miss my sheep back in the old country. Until we perfect our plan to walk innocently through security, we must be strong and think of these large infidels-in-blue at the airport as the sheep they are. Close your eyes and think of the Empty Quarter, my hairy-handed friend.

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Eric talks to Ali bin Soapless| 11.22.10 @ 11:01AM
Good Morning. Eric Cartman here for AM South Park. I'm speaking to radical Muslim and U of C College professor, Ali bin Soapless. Good morning, Mr. bin Soapless. Go Buffaloes !

BS: Praise Allah, the slayer of the infidel, may he make them look like the fools they are with their hands down their pants. Peace be upon him. Good morning Eric. Go Buffaloes.

EC: Yeah. Thanks. Let's jump right in here. How did you get here?

BS: I flew on El Al. Why, you think I would fly Delta or something? I'm not stupid.

EC: Well, as you know, the Obama administration . .

BS: Peace be upon him

EC: has issued . . . Um . . . Who?

BS: Obama. He has devised this system of what are calling Grope or Fry that you are suffering under as we speak, praise Allah. Either fry by radiation, or get groped by your old gym teacher. Your choice.

EC: Yeah, well . . . . what are you Muslims going to do when some Saudi-in-a-Sac k comes sashaying up to the check points and has some high school dropout reach under her Burka and get a feel of . . .

BS: No, no, no, Cartman. You see, we have asked for and received a special dispensation for Muslim woman and Muslims in general.


BS: Yes, your president Obama understands the delicate feelings of Muslims about having to undergo these embarrassing exams. So we get to board without this terrible groping and fondling. It is only one-legged Army veterans, 3-year old babies, grandmothers and everyone else who will get them. But if it ever comes to be, we Muslims have the Limburger Cheese defense.

EC: What . . . the hell . . . is that?

BS: Well, if you look at the pictures of these TSA agents, they have their heads almost up the butts of the passengers. We Muslims never wash or bathe - well, our feet, because you never know when you're going to grab a quick bite. Anyway, it's been a few years for me. I wouldn't know what the inside of a shower looks like if I was standing in one. So when the TSA agent bends down to grab OUR junk, he comes away with the smell of a thousand camels passing Limburger Cheese through their rumps stuck in his nose.

EC: God, that's brilliant! You mind if I try that?

BS: Yes, it is effective. And be my guest. Just take some of my crotch sweat as starter spores and you'll be set for life in a day or two.

EC: Thanks! Well, what about the Muslim women?

BS: Oh, they are much worse! Don't even go there, my friend. Have you ever stuck your nose in the rotting carcass of a skunk that fell into the sewers of hell?

EC: Wow! No. That's just amazing. I almost threw up just thinking about it.

BS: Well, it's a gift from Muhammad. He never bathed, either. All he had to do was stand upwind from his enemies and they would surrender. Genius, no? I must get back to my government funded job teaching your stupid, infidel college students how evil their own country is. Hee hee. You know, sometimes I feel bad for you Americans. That your own children would be so stupid as to listen to the non-sense I spew and accept it is a monument to the Liberal Camel Asses that run your country and control your media. It's too easy! You are destroying yourselves! I don't even know why us Muslims are expending so much energy trying to do what your Liberal Camel Asses are doing for free. Well, gotta go. See you later, my fried.

EC: Yeah, adios, you stinky bastard. Well, that's all from AM South Park. Some great tips from Soapless there. Just slather yourself up with Limburger Cheese and let them pat ya down till they keel over. Good day!

11-22-2010, 03:48 PM
How about the strip search of the young boy:

11-22-2010, 03:57 PM
Oh, that's what I'll do when I retire, but I don't intend to put my life on hold until then.

I betcha the private chartered jet business is going to pick up along with train travel within the US.

11-22-2010, 10:17 PM
How about the strip search of the young boy:
Okay, that's humiliating and completely uncalled for. The T&A agents responsible for that should be fired and held personally liable in the suit that the kid's parents are probably filing as I type.

I betcha the private chartered jet business is going to pick up along with train travel within the US.

No, because TSA will claim authority over that, too.

If I were paranoid, I'd suspect that this is a means to push Obama's pet high speed rail fetish. The worse the experience of flying gets, the more people will beg off, and rail will become commercially viable, or at least less of an obvious boondoggle.