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NJCardFan
12-01-2010, 09:57 PM
Anybody here ever fostered or adopted a child or know someone who has? My wife and I are working towards getting licensed to be foster parents with an aim toward adoption and I'm curious to know how others did the process.

marv
12-01-2010, 10:07 PM
Negative experience.

Hawkgirl
12-01-2010, 10:22 PM
I sent you a PM. :)

NJCardFan
12-01-2010, 10:25 PM
Negative experience.

In what way if you don't mind my asking?

noonwitch
12-02-2010, 09:14 AM
My experience is from the worker end of the business.


I think it's great that you and your wife are becoming foster parents. One of my kids got adopted by a CO, it worked out really well. He set up a fairly strict household, and my kid responded well to that.

Nubs
12-02-2010, 09:19 AM
Check these people out

Bethany Christian Services (http://www.bethany.org/)

NJCardFan
12-02-2010, 10:03 AM
Check these people out

Bethany Christian Services (http://www.bethany.org/)

I checked them out and since I don't have $10K to $25K just lying around, this is not an option.

noonwitch
12-02-2010, 11:39 AM
I checked them out and since I don't have $10K to $25K just lying around, this is not an option.


If you are licensed as a foster parent, and you adopt a foster kid or foster kids that are in your care, you shouldn't have to pay any legal fees, and you should be getting a subsidy once the adoption is finalized and you are no longer receiving foster care payments (not to mention the medical insurance coverage). Court costs are usually covered in those cases by the state because the adoption is helping a child who the state is caring for reach a permanent goal.

Adoption is probably the most complicated job in our field, in some ways. The workers don't have to see the kids and family as often as the FC worker, but they have really complicated paperwork and legal crap to deal with. The up-side is the happy outcomes.


Bethany is a good agency for people who are looking to adopt and not foster, especially for new babies, overseas adoptions and adoptions within families. They are also a good agency for pregnant women who want to give their babies up for adoption. But those types of adoptions are the ones in which the adoptive parent will end up paying legal fees.

marv
12-02-2010, 01:37 PM
In what way if you don't mind my asking?

Strictly a personal experience:

My wife and her first husband adopted two boys, one four and the other five. I first encountered them when they were in their late teens when I married my wife. By that time, both boys had police records and a history of burglary, drug abuse, etc.

I helped one get a GED, and told him to use it to get a job and not just hang it on the wall to look at. I don't think he can even find it now. The other stole tools from my garage to hock for pot. Over the protests from my wife, I threw them both out. Now, they're both near fifty, and flipping hamburgers is considered a "real" job. Both have children they can't support. I didn't raise them, and I have made it clear that I will have nothing to do with them.

The problem as I see it is twofold.. They were too old, and nothing was known about their "home" life before the adoption. After years of investigation, it developed that their natural parents were drug addicts, and one mother was a prostitute.

My suggestion is not to adopt a child older than 1 to 2 years of age. Personalities begining forming very early. Be very, very careful.

This is just my 2...

NJCardFan
12-02-2010, 02:34 PM
My suggestion is not to adopt a child older than 1 to 2 years of age.

This is actually our target age.