View Full Version : Top 10 DUmmies of 2010: #05

12-31-2010, 09:20 AM

We're finally getting into familiar territory here, primitives with whom franksolich is intimately acquainted.

And talk about an ascent, way up from tenth place last year, to fifth place this year.

CaliforniaPeggy, the poetess laureatte of Skins's island, hardly needs an introduction.

So profound, so rhythmic, so melodious, so harmonious, so candy-to-the-ears, the poetry of the CalPig primitive, that franksolich earlier this year decided it was publish-worthy, and sought an outlet for them.

Learning that Watchtower magazine is the largest general-circulation magazine in the world--and the CalPig primitive deserves the widest-spread exposure she can get--franksolich sent eleven of her poems to that publication, titillating the editors with the information that there was more, much more.

Alas, nothing came of it; perhaps franksolich was too over-demanding, in that he insisted that the face of the CalPig primitive grace the cover of Watchtower, too.

One learns "negotiation" by doing, and sooner or later one gets it right.


The CalPig primitive is from an affluent area of southern California. Born in 1942, she became a registered nurse but gave that all up when she married a rich guy; they live in a Streisandian-sized palatial home--plenty of room in which to knock around, but the CalPig primitive, unliberal- and unDemocrat-like, refuses to share with the homeless, or near-homeless, primitives.

The above vital statistics provided by the CalPig primitive herself.

For the longest time, there was a rumor that the CalPig primitive had been born a man, but surgically-altered into a femme--franksolich and our perceptive colleague Bondai, among others, fell for it--but that appears to only have been a rumor, and nothing else.

But it is most curious, a woman with an Adam's-apple the size of a grapefruit.

Which might explain the CalPig primitive's propensity for wearing turtleneck sweaters.

And we've seen the CalPig primitive in just about every color and style of turtleneck sweater, as when there's a "picture" campfire in the Lounge on Skins's island, the CalPig primitive is usually the first to show off her stuff.

An example of the CalPig primitive's poetry is in this, "another bowel-clencher from CalPig":

CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-09-10 05:45 AM
Original message

A new poem: Find Yourself

where do I go
how do I do that

am I lost
do I need to be found

will anyone
find me

Iím someone
after all
I exist in time and space
maybe Iím just not where I need to be
right now
Iím so confused
I may never figure it out

just how do you go about

finding someone

who doesnít want to


© 2010 MLC


But the CalPig primitive has a rather wide variety of interests, besides just poetry.

the CalPig primitive's poem for the ages:


the CalPig primitive horrified at the greenbriar primitive's predicament:


the CalPig primitive hangs around Skins's island before taking husband to emergency room:


the CalPig primitive fed up with shoddy women's apparel:


the CalPig primitive peels away clothing:


the CalPig primitive reads a newspaper:


the CalPig primitive anticipates (a MUST read):


the CalPig primitive kisses the Die alte sau's posterior:


the CalPig primitive on youtube (a MUST see):


the CalPig primitive never realized how nice ceiling fans can be:


the CalPig primitive gets her comeuppance; deleted comment retrieved:


the CalPig primitive changes careers:


the CalPig primitive considered a celebrity on Skins's island:


the CalPig primitive's never done this before:


the CalPig primitive leaves a blank spot on her ballot:


the CalPig primitive steps up to bat; donates stars to other primitives:


the CalPig primitive argues with a decent and civilized person about the Constitution:


the CalPig primitive sick at heart, drops her pom-poms:


the CalPig primitive biding her time:


the CalPig primitive is no racist: