View Full Version : Top 10 DUmmies of 2010: #02

12-31-2010, 09:25 AM
Well, well.

He made it.....almost.

Stinky The Clown ran way far ahead of primitives #20-03, but alas the TOP DUmmie of 2010 ran way far ahead of the sparkling husband primitive.

But second place isn't so bad, as we in Nebraska used to remind Oklahoma, those glory years when Nebraska thumped Oklahoma; it's near the top, and it's ahead of everybody else but the one in first place.

Nope. Second place isn't so bad; it's ahead of, like, about 182 other places.

The sparkling husband primitive is 64-65 years old, and lives with his wife in a sort-of rundown residential neighborhood of Baltimore. Not a bad neighborhood by any means, but houses and places grow old too. And besides, a modest neighborhood is a good "cover" for wealth; it discourages the impression in other people that one has money.

The sparkling household has a full-time "Hazel"-type maid to take care of running the house.

The sparkling couple have two, perhaps three, children, adults.

The sparkling husband primitive served in the U.S. Navy 1965-1967, in South Carolina, protecting America from invasion from the Canary Islands, and so despite his character flaws, one must be grateful to the sparkling husband primitive for his service; one imagines life in America today, under the steel jack-boot of the Canarians, wouldn't be as good as it presently is.

The sparkling husband primitive likes dogs.

The sparkling husband primitive owns a home-based business, the nature of which is ambiguous, but it's easy to connect the dots.

.the sparkling husband primitive is of Italianate derivation.
.the sparkling husband primitive was born and raised in Bridgeport, Connecticut.
.Bridgeport at the time was (and perhaps still is) a mob-run city.
.the tentacles of mobs stretch far outside one's home base, what with subsidiaries and alliances.
.the sparkling husband primitive, after leaving the Navy, moved to Baltimore, Maryland.
.Baltimore at the time was run by the mob boss Thomas d'Alessandro, allied with the mob in Bridgeport.
.during the 1960s, the d'Alessandro operations expanded to San Francisco, California.
.Bela Pelosi is the daughter of the late mob boss Thomas d'Alessandro.
.the sparkling husband primitive has nothing but kind words for the ex-Speaker of the House.
.the sparkling husband primitive frequently travels to San Francisco, to consult with associates with names such as Moe, Izzy, Sal, Manny, Lido, Giudo, Lucky, Silvestro, Carlo, Whiney Louie, and possibly even Bela's husband.

The dots all go in a single straight line.

That's only speculation, but if anyone can think of anything better, about what the sparkling husband primitive's home-based business is, please illuminate us.

The sparkling husband primitive is under the thumb of the sparkling husband primitive's wife; it's obvious who wears the pants, makes the decisions, in that Terrapinical household.

The sparkling husband primitive's wife, concerned for the odoriferous well-being of the bathrooms on the first and second floors of their home, makes the sparkling husband primitive use the bathroom in the basement, in which is also the cat litter-box.

The sparkling husband primitive takes up quite a chunk in the archives of the DUmpster, so here are only a few of his gems of 2010:

the sparkling husband primitive is shunned by other primitives:


the sparkling husband primitive looks for meaningful difference:


the sparkling husband primitive thinks of George Bush:


the sparkling husband primitive vows to stay a liberal:


the sparkling husband primitive gets personal about Bela Pelosi:


the sparkling husband primitive on balance:


the sparkling husband primitive questions tax cuts:


the sparkling husband primitive is our friend:


the sparkling husband primitive a packrat, hoarder:


the sparkling husband primitive wants a little help:


the sparkling husband primitive teaches us history:


the sparkling husband primitive bashes Craig'sList:


the sparkling husband primitive leaving on a jet plane:


the sparkling husband primitive going to tune out:


the sparkling husband primitive tuned out:


the sparkling husband primitive questions Bela Pelosi's airplane:


the sparkling husband primitive has problems with dogs and hawks:


the sparkling husband primitive really sorry for Alan Grayson:


the sparkling husband primitive gives us a picture of small business:


the sparkling husband primitive can't make a point:


12-31-2010, 09:27 AM
The TOP DUmmie OF 2010 will be posted here the minute it's out.

I anticipate the announcement being made by noon today, New Year's Day; we're currently being snowed and winded under, here on the roof of Nebraska.