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megimoo
01-09-2011, 10:03 PM
By AMY CHUA

A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too.

Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

• attend a sleepover

• have a playdate

• be in a school play

• complain about not being in a school play

• watch TV or play computer games

• choose their own extracurricular activities

• get any grade less than an A

• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama

• play any instrument other than the piano or violin

• not play the piano or violin.

I'm using the term "Chinese mother" loosely. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise. I'm also using the term "Western parents" loosely. Western parents come in all varieties.
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http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html

Articulate_Ape
01-09-2011, 10:15 PM
Well, that sure explains 99% of Chinese movies.

Novaheart
01-09-2011, 10:34 PM
Far be it for me to call this woman, well let's say she's broadbrushing. Oh, I have no doubt that some Chinese parents are incredibly abrasive with their children, I have seen and heard it. One need not speak Chinese to know what is being said by an annoyed woman who looks with a face of a cartoon monster at a five year old who has displeased Mommy, after being kept behind the counter at the restaurant for the last six hours.

My Chinese market is owned by a very nice couple. They operate their store from 9 am to 7 pm daily. And while their children used to come to the store after school and work, and do homework, I never saw the drilling this woman is talking about.

I agree with a lot of what she has said, but:

Asian Americans' Rising Suicide Rates -- Three Students Take their Lives
New America Media, Analysis, Andrew Lam, Posted: Aug 13, 2009

Three Chinese-American students at the California Institute of Technology (Caltech) have killed themselves in the last three months. Two died by helium asphyxiation and the cause of death of the third student, though deemed a suicide, is yet to be determined. Their stories have been covered in the Chinese language media, but remain virtually unreported in the mainstream.

These suicides are anything but isolated incidents. Popular opinion may project Asians and Asian Americans as super achievers, scoring high on the SAT, dominating prestigious colleges and working as high-paid professionals, but the dark side of that narrative is that they are much more likely than the average American to commit suicide, according to a recent report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

At Cornell University, for instance, 13 of the 21 student suicide victims between 1996 and 2006 were Asians or Asian Americans. That picture is not complete unless you consider that Asians make up of only 14 percent of the total Cornell student body. Cornell is so concerned that in 2002 it formed a special Asian and Asian American Campus Climate Task Force to look into the reason behind the high number of suicides.

Stanley Sue, a professor of psychology and Asian-American studies at the University of California at Davis who has studied suicide rates among Asian Americans, believes part of the problem is that Asian Americans are not likely to talk about their psychological problems.

rink (http://news.newamericamedia.org/news/view_article.html?article_id=c2b8f3a43bbe3e0445f23 274028d24a7)

megimoo
01-09-2011, 11:52 PM
Far be it for me to call this woman, well let's say she's broadbrushing. Oh, I have no doubt that some Chinese parents are incredibly abrasive with their children, I have seen and heard it. One need not speak Chinese to know what is being said by an annoyed woman who looks with a face of a cartoon monster at a five year old who has displeased Mommy, after being kept behind the counter at the restaurant for the last six hours.

My Chinese market is owned by a very nice couple. They operate their store from 9 am to 7 pm daily. And while their children used to come to the store after school and work, and do homework, I never saw the drilling this woman is talking about.

I agree with a lot of what she has said, but:

Asian Americans' Rising Suicide Rates -- Three Students Take their Lives
New America Media, Analysis, Andrew Lam, Posted: Aug 13, 2009

Three Chinese-American students at the California Institute of Technology (Caltech) have killed themselves in the last three months. Two died by helium asphyxiation and the cause of death of the third student, though deemed a suicide, is yet to be determined. Their stories have been covered in the Chinese language media, but remain virtually unreported in the mainstream.

These suicides are anything but isolated incidents. Popular opinion may project Asians and Asian Americans as super achievers, scoring high on the SAT, dominating prestigious colleges and working as high-paid professionals, but the dark side of that narrative is that they are much more likely than the average American to commit suicide, according to a recent report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

At Cornell University, for instance, 13 of the 21 student suicide victims between 1996 and 2006 were Asians or Asian Americans. That picture is not complete unless you consider that Asians make up of only 14 percent of the total Cornell student body. Cornell is so concerned that in 2002 it formed a special Asian and Asian American Campus Climate Task Force to look into the reason behind the high number of suicides.

Stanley Sue, a professor of psychology and Asian-American studies at the University of California at Davis who has studied suicide rates among Asian Americans, believes part of the problem is that Asian Americans are not likely to talk about their psychological problems.

rink (http://news.newamericamedia.org/news/view_article.html?article_id=c2b8f3a43bbe3e0445f23 274028d24a7)
Good research and an interesting psychological insight into the Oriental mind .Chinese in particular have a very rigid family structure not obvious to those outside of the family .

The family works collectively to insure the family's prosperity .A fellow employee of mine worked in the family restaurant after school the entire time he was going to MIT while carrying a full two coarse credit load in order to graduate early.Failure was not an option for him.His sister went on to graduate from Harvard with full honors.The pressures to conform with the American norm are always there but Orientals are driven to be high achievers and stay at the outskirts of most school social groups..

Gingersnap
01-10-2011, 11:35 AM
What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more.

Bingo! Very few children are naturally talented enough at anything to receive genuine praise for their initial efforts. And children can easily detect false praise.

Whether it's music, math, language skills, or reading comprehension, it all takes a lot of practice to become competent and practice is unfulfilling and downright boring in the beginning. Forcing a child to override her natural instinct to goof off pays off pretty handsomely later (sometimes much later).

Most of the adults who claim that rigorous practice "ruined" multiplication or piano for them were never required to actually master the basic skills before they quit. Even aside from benefiting from academic success and problem-solving skills, it's amazing how many adults later return to activities they were "forced" to participate in as children. Fishing, camping, piano, ballet, gardening - all often become important adult hobbies later.