PDA

View Full Version : Idiocy In The NJ Family Court System



NJCardFan
06-01-2011, 05:47 PM
Earlier this afternoon, we received a call from DYFS(Division of Youth and Family Services) in which my wife and I are registered foster parents, that they had an 8 month old infant girl for us. This baby was, according to our case worker, being abused by her father. She was pulled out of the home late Friday night and put in an emergency home. They called us to be a long term home for her and we are more than ready. The case worker assigned to the case was in court over this matter when we were called but our contact said that this was a definite(we've been called 2 other times. 1, we weren't home and the other, the parents complied so the child wasn't pulled). Well, about a half hour ago we got a call from the case worker of this case and unbelievably, the judge saw no reason why this child was pulled from the home. To put it mildly, everyone involved is shocked. I don't know all the particulars of this case but when we were told that this 8 month old baby was being physically abused, it broke our hearts and we were willing to open our home to this child but to hear that the judge gave the child back to the family is flabbergasting to say the least. Well, my wife is heart broken because we were first told this was a definite for us and to have it fall through like this is gut wrenching. And now we both can't help but be worried for this child and we both pray that nothing happens but if it does, then this judge has blood on his hands.

fettpett
06-01-2011, 05:58 PM
that sucks man, hope things work out for the baby. It's this type of crap that make people hate the CPS system and the judges involved.

Phillygirl
06-01-2011, 06:01 PM
There is often another side to the story and perhaps DYFS didn't have the whole truth when it indicated the baby was being abused. I hope that is the case.

lacarnut
06-01-2011, 06:04 PM
That is a shame and I feel for you and your wife. Your time will come so keep the faith.

NJCardFan
06-01-2011, 06:25 PM
There is often another side to the story and perhaps DYFS didn't have the whole truth when it indicated the baby was being abused. I hope that is the case.
That is my hope as well but DYFS doesn't go around pulling babies out of houses late on a Friday night before a holiday weekend willy nilly. Sure they've been known to make mistakes but for them to be completely shocked at the judges decision leads me to believe their claim has merit.

Odysseus
06-01-2011, 07:03 PM
What you are doing is truly wonderful, and your commitment and generosity is moving. I agree with you about the judge, and I hope that he turns out to have seen something that the others missed, but I share your fear that he did not. I can only say that you have done all that you could, and more than many people. The best case is that the judge was right, and the father isn't a monster, and the worst is that the baby will suffer horribly, but if anything in between happens, I know that you will still be there for that child.

Phillygirl
06-01-2011, 07:09 PM
That is my hope as well but DYFS doesn't go around pulling babies out of houses late on a Friday night before a holiday weekend willy nilly. Sure they've been known to make mistakes but for them to be completely shocked at the judges decision leads me to believe their claim has merit.

They do in my county, quite frequently. The incompetence in that organization is astounding. If there is a wrong decision to be made, on either side of the coin, they are likely to make it.

noonwitch
06-02-2011, 01:20 PM
That is my hope as well but DYFS doesn't go around pulling babies out of houses late on a Friday night before a holiday weekend willy nilly. Sure they've been known to make mistakes but for them to be completely shocked at the judges decision leads me to believe their claim has merit.


I wonder if DYFS actually removed the child late on a Friday night-they would have been involved, obviously, but the police do a lot of emergency removals late at night, then turn the case over the DYFS for the court case and related paperwork ( and the actual placement into care).


The court requires a higher standard of proof to continue that placement than the police or CPS need to initially pull the child. CPS generally uses some type of risk assessment scale, but the courts need it all to fit into legal categories. CPS doesn't always train the workers to write good petitions.

pyackog
06-02-2011, 01:25 PM
There is often another side to the story and perhaps DYFS didn't have the whole truth when it indicated the baby was being abused. I hope that is the case.

I hope you're right about this. I can't think of anything lower than abusing an infant.

NJCardFan
06-02-2011, 10:35 PM
I hope you're right about this. I can't think of anything lower than abusing an infant.

There isn't anything lower. My wife and I are still very bummed and worried for this child whom we've never met.

Phillygirl
06-02-2011, 10:43 PM
I hope you're right about this. I can't think of anything lower than abusing an infant.

Personally I can never understand the mindset that would permit someone to do such a thing. I look at an infant and can not possibly imagine wanting to do anything other than make him/her smile and laugh. There is truly nothing better on earth than a laughing infant.

Novaheart
06-02-2011, 11:08 PM
Earlier this afternoon, we received a call from DYFS(Division of Youth and Family Services) in which my wife and I are registered foster parents, that they had an 8 month old infant girl for us. This baby was, according to our case worker, being abused by her father. She was pulled out of the home late Friday night and put in an emergency home. They called us to be a long term home for her and we are more than ready. The case worker assigned to the case was in court over this matter when we were called but our contact said that this was a definite(we've been called 2 other times. 1, we weren't home and the other, the parents complied so the child wasn't pulled). Well, about a half hour ago we got a call from the case worker of this case and unbelievably, the judge saw no reason why this child was pulled from the home. To put it mildly, everyone involved is shocked. I don't know all the particulars of this case but when we were told that this 8 month old baby was being physically abused, it broke our hearts and we were willing to open our home to this child but to hear that the judge gave the child back to the family is flabbergasting to say the least. Well, my wife is heart broken because we were first told this was a definite for us and to have it fall through like this is gut wrenching. And now we both can't help but be worried for this child and we both pray that nothing happens but if it does, then this judge has blood on his hands.


I don't know how people can take the emotional roller coaster and heartbreak of being a foster parent, for children or dogs for that matter, but I applaud those who do.

http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/3491573/2/istockphoto_3491573-blue-ribbon.jpg

pyackog
06-02-2011, 11:52 PM
Personally I can never understand the mindset that would permit someone to do such a thing. I look at an infant and can not possibly imagine wanting to do anything other than make him/her smile and laugh. There is truly nothing better on earth than a laughing infant.

I hear you. My kids are 5 and 3, close enough to when they were infants. I'd hear stories about these abuses when they were younger and actually tried to look at them and think about what these parents did and it would just literally bring tears to my eyes. I could not get it at all.

noonwitch
06-03-2011, 10:44 AM
There isn't anything lower. My wife and I are still very bummed and worried for this child whom we've never met.


If the mother was not the abuser and the father or mom's boyfriend was, there may have been a resolution that involved the abuser leaving the home or being arrested for a criminal charge. Or, if it is a DV situation, the victimized parent would agree to go to a shelter with the child.

Odysseus
06-03-2011, 12:39 PM
I don't know how people can take the emotional roller coaster and heartbreak of being a foster parent, for children or dogs for that matter, but I applaud those who do.

http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/3491573/2/istockphoto_3491573-blue-ribbon.jpg

Does that include Michelle Bachmann?

I know, I know, but I'm already pretty sure that I'm going to Hell. :D

Phillygirl
06-03-2011, 02:07 PM
If the mother was not the abuser and the father or mom's boyfriend was, there may have been a resolution that involved the abuser leaving the home or being arrested for a criminal charge. Or, if it is a DV situation, the victimized parent would agree to go to a shelter with the child.

That's a very good point. Also, sometimes it's just the allegation that there is drug or alcohol abuse in the home, which could or did lead to neglect, not actual physical abuse of the child, therefore removal of the offender may remedy the situation.

Novaheart
06-03-2011, 02:09 PM
Does that include Michelle Bachmann?

I know, I know, but I'm already pretty sure that I'm going to Hell. :D

I should have been more specific and said, "People who foster out of the goodness of their hearts....."

Thank you for helping me to become a better poster.

Novaheart
06-03-2011, 02:10 PM
Does that include Michelle Bachmann?

I know, I know, but I'm already pretty sure that I'm going to Hell. :D

You are correct, it was too broad a statement. There have been many cases of abusive foster parents, and I certainly didn't mean those cases.

Thank you for helping me become a petter boster.

Odysseus
06-03-2011, 07:59 PM
I should have been more specific and said, "People who foster out of the goodness of their hearts....."
As opposed to what? The goodness of her sphincter? :confused:

You are correct, it was too broad a statement. There have been many cases of abusive foster parents, and I certainly didn't mean those cases.

So, let me get this straight: You are accusing Michelle Bachmann of abusing the children that she has fostered? I assume that you have proof of this allegation, or you would not make such a libelous and despicable statement.

Thank you for helping me become a petter boster.

Don't thank me yet. My work is far from over.

NJCardFan
06-03-2011, 08:06 PM
Well, the wife and I are getting some practice as we're taking in a 9 month old baby for the weekend while his resource parents go away for the weekend. He's been a handful so far but he's adorable.

pyackog
06-03-2011, 08:59 PM
Well, the wife and I are getting some practice as we're taking in a 9 month old baby for the weekend while his resource parents go away for the weekend. He's been a handful so far but he's adorable.

They are especially adorable when you can give them back at the end of the weekend. ;)

NJCardFan
06-04-2011, 10:58 PM
They are especially adorable when you can give them back at the end of the weekend. ;)

Yeah but my wife wants to keep him. He's a good baby. Doesn't cry or fuss that much. He's been a little sweetheart.

djones520
06-04-2011, 11:52 PM
Yeah but my wife wants to keep him. He's a good baby. Doesn't cry or fuss that much. He's been a little sweetheart.

Just give it a little bit. We gave my son to his Grandma for three weeks. First two weeks it was just fine. The last week we were getting daily phone calls wondering when we were coming to pick him back up. :D

Adam Wood
06-04-2011, 11:59 PM
Yeah but my wife wants to keep him. He's a good baby. Doesn't cry or fuss that much. He's been a little sweetheart.
Heh. Nine months is an interesting age. Not quite a year old, not quite a complete newborn, and they're very curious at that age while they crawl around on the floor.

No kids of my own, but I've had more than my share of nieces and nephews to keep an eye on over the years, and I've learned about pretty much every age from one day old through the terrible twos to growing childhood to teenage years. None of it is easy, to be sure.


I beseech God's blessings upon you and your wife as you go forth to offer your home and your love to those in need. It is truly yeoman's work to take care of someone else's child, and it is to be praised. My hat's off to you, sir, and your wife for endeavoring on this important mission.

MrsSmith
06-05-2011, 12:49 PM
Good foster parents have the hardest job on earth. One couple I knew took in a toddler, 2 or 3 years old. This child was so used to abuse, she would literally creep around by the walls to go through a room, and cringe if anyone looked at her or spoke to her. After 2 years with the foster parents, she was a happy, normal child, talkative and outgoing.

Then the court gave her back to her parents.

I moved before I heard how that went, but the look in her foster mother's eyes was pure torture. :(:(:(

MrsSmith
06-05-2011, 12:51 PM
So, let me get this straight: You are accusing Michelle Bachmann of abusing the children that she has fostered? I assume that you have proof of this allegation, or you would not make such a libelous and despicable statement.

Why would he need proof? :confused: She is a repuke, so obviously can't take in foster kids because she cares about kids. Repukes only care about kids before they are born...right? :confused:

:rolleyes:

Phillygirl
06-05-2011, 01:54 PM
A couple, who are clients of mine, have been fostering kids for about 4 years now. They were fortunate to be able to adopt one of their foster kids and are open to adopting more if the circumstance arise. I can not imagine better foster parents than this couple and am so pleased to see the kind of quality foster parents that are out there. Even if they are there just in the emergency situations it is a true blessing for these children.

NJCardFan
06-06-2011, 01:30 PM
Well, little Marlon just left for his visit with his mother before going back to his resource family. To say we are bummed is an understatement. We miss him already. He was a joy to have for the weekend. We even inquired about his status as to whether or not he was adoptable because we fell in love with him but we knew this was just a weekend thing. My life is richer just having him for 4 days.

noonwitch
06-07-2011, 10:14 AM
Why would he need proof? :confused: She is a repuke, so obviously can't take in foster kids because she cares about kids. Repukes only care about kids before they are born...right? :confused:

:rolleyes:



I don't think he was saying that Michelle Bachman abuses the foster kids in her care. He made two separate statements on separate posts. His comment was more that she wasn't fostering kids out of the goodness of her heart.


As someone who works in the foster care system, all I can say is that if we started telling conservatives and christians that they can't foster kids, we'd run out foster parents really fast. The FC licensing programs recruit at churches of all stripes, and at temples, mosques and community centers. Even Kingdom Halls.

NJCardFan
06-07-2011, 01:53 PM
I don't think he was saying that Michelle Bachman abuses the foster kids in her care. He made two separate statements on separate posts. His comment was more that she wasn't fostering kids out of the goodness of her heart.


As someone who works in the foster care system, all I can say is that if we started telling conservatives and christians that they can't foster kids, we'd run out foster parents really fast. The FC licensing programs recruit at churches of all stripes, and at temples, mosques and community centers. Even Kingdom Halls.

So in other words, Nova knows what's in the heart of a woman he's never met. :rolleyes:

fettpett
06-07-2011, 04:28 PM
then we get stories like this:

http://articles.latimes.com/2011/jun/06/local/la-me-adv-child-fatality-20110606
Child dies after being sent from foster care to her parents, renewing questions about L.A. County's troubled children's services agency

Toddler Tori Sandoval was released from foster care to her biological parents and died months later, her body bruised. Police and county social workers say the parents are suspects.

This photograph of Tori Sandoval was taken shortly before she was sent from…
June 06, 2011|By Garrett Therolf, Times Staff Writer
The two-page letter landed in the judge's chambers at the Los Angeles County Children's Court last fall, registering "grave concern" for the well-being of 17-month-old Vyctorya Sandoval.

Linda Kontis, co-founder of a foster family agency that contracted with the county to provide care to the girl, complained that the court system hadn't properly considered the risks of returning the saucer-eyed toddler known as Tori to her long-troubled biological parents.



Months after the letter was written, Tori was dead. Healing bruises covered her body, according to a court document that children's services officials filed. A rib was fractured. Blood tests suggested she died thirsty and hungry. For six hours, doctors tried to save her after she was rushed to an emergency room.

No charges have been filed, but police and county social workers say the parents are suspects in the investigation of Tori's death on April 24. She had turned 2 the month before.

Her case has sent fresh shock waves through the county's child protection bureaucracy, still struggling to implement reforms after more than 70 maltreatment deaths over the last three years of children who had been under the system's supervision.

Investigators are awaiting a final autopsy report, and details of Tori's life and health have not been disclosed. But Kontis' letter has called into question whether the court system and the Department of Children and Family Services did all they could to safeguard the girl. Kontis declined to comment.

Kontis' letter was one of two warnings officials received about Tori's welfare in the months before she died, according to sources familiar with the case. A friend of Tori's former foster parents, Jennifer Nichols, said the couple phoned in a report to the children services department after hearing from the girl's relatives that Tori's condition was worsening.

NJCardFan
06-07-2011, 04:33 PM
then we get stories like this:

Sad. This is because child services #1 priority is to get children back to their parents.

noonwitch
06-07-2011, 05:32 PM
Sad. This is because child services #1 priority is to get children back to their parents.




Unfortunately, we are not psychics. Even with aftercare services, we can really only follow a case after the kids have been returned for 3-6 months.

California probably needs some reform in their system. When I first started, 24 years ago, we didn't have some of the laws we now have in place, like being able to file to terminate parents rights in situations that are particularly high risk. Any abuse resulting in severe injury or death to one child is automatic grounds to terminate that parent's rights to all children. Repeat customers for babies born with drugs in their system is also grounds, as is previous terminations. It's harsh, and I admit to not thinking it was good at first, but it has worked out well, especially for adoption reasons. The younger a child is, and the lower number of placements makes it much easier to find a permanent home.

You live in NJ-if there are a lot of residents like the stupid people on that MTV show, I'm confident you will get a child soon.

MrsSmith
06-07-2011, 10:25 PM
Unfortunately, we are not psychics. Even with aftercare services, we can really only follow a case after the kids have been returned for 3-6 months.

California probably needs some reform in their system. When I first started, 24 years ago, we didn't have some of the laws we now have in place, like being able to file to terminate parents rights in situations that are particularly high risk. Any abuse resulting in severe injury or death to one child is automatic grounds to terminate that parent's rights to all children. Repeat customers for babies born with drugs in their system is also grounds, as is previous terminations. It's harsh, and I admit to not thinking it was good at first, but it has worked out well, especially for adoption reasons. The younger a child is, and the lower number of placements makes it much easier to find a permanent home.

You live in NJ-if there are a lot of residents like the stupid people on that MTV show, I'm confident you will get a child soon.

It's a good idea, especially if Mom is still using. There was a case nearby recently, a drug addict mom that had gotten her older kids back, was home with them and her 10 day old infant, high as a kite, somehow put the infant in the washing machine. A relative came over to check on them all, found the baby in the washer when it unbalanced during the spin cycle. The official cause of death was "drowning," but you know that baby had to have been beat up pretty bad before she died. Thankfully, that mom should never get her kids again, she's up on murder charges.

Odysseus
06-08-2011, 02:35 PM
It's a good idea, especially if Mom is still using. There was a case nearby recently, a drug addict mom that had gotten her older kids back, was home with them and her 10 day old infant, high as a kite, somehow put the infant in the washing machine. A relative came over to check on them all, found the baby in the washer when it unbalanced during the spin cycle. The official cause of death was "drowning," but you know that baby had to have been beat up pretty bad before she died. Thankfully, that mom should never get her kids again, she's up on murder charges.

That may be the most horrible thing that I've read in a while. She deserves execution.

noonwitch
06-08-2011, 03:11 PM
That may be the most horrible thing that I've read in a while. She deserves execution.

We had one of those kind of cases right before I started working here. A mom put her kid in the washer and killed her. I don't think drugs were involved, I think she was just a woman who was very sick in the head.

NJCardFan
06-08-2011, 05:11 PM
We had one of those kind of cases right before I started working here. A mom put her kid in the washer and killed her. I don't think drugs were involved, I think she was just a woman who was very sick in the head.

What saddens me is that the good Lord doesn't bless my wife and I with a child of our own but scumbags everywhere are able to produce like rabbits.

Odysseus
06-08-2011, 06:20 PM
What saddens me is that the good Lord doesn't bless my wife and I with a child of our own but scumbags everywhere are able to produce like rabbits.

That is very true, but look at the good that you have done for those children. You've done very well for them, even if you have none of your own.

noonwitch
06-09-2011, 09:59 AM
What saddens me is that the good Lord doesn't bless my wife and I with a child of our own but scumbags everywhere are able to produce like rabbits.


And a lot of those kids end up in foster care and will need you more than they need the bunnies.