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SarasotaRepub
06-03-2011, 08:51 AM
Awwww...they are soooooo kute sometimes. (http://www...they are soooooo kute sometimes.) :rolleyes:




ThisThreadIsSatire (639 posts) Wed Jun-01-11 10:02 PM
Original message AN OPEN LETTER TO MY CREDITORShttp://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/images/transparent.gif


http://thedesperateblogger.com/2011/06/an-open-letter-t... (http://thedesperateblogger.com/2011/06/an-open-letter-to-my-creditors) /

Dear Creditors:

This is to inform you that as of August 2, 2011, I will be temporarily suspending all payments on my current obligations.

Unfortunately this has become necessary because, based on my current contracts, agreements and other necessary spending, I will run out of cash by August 1. While in the past, I have gone to financial institutions or – if necessary – friends and/or family to secure loans in order to stay current, ‘greater minds than mine’ have informed me that these actions have been irresponsible. Even though I have already assumed these obligations, I am advised that I should suspend paying all of my bills until such time as I have formulated a plan that will reduce my level of future spending to the point that outside financing will not be necessary.

This may take a while, as the vast majority of my expenses are for necessities; rent, food, clothing, transportation, health insurance, assault weapons, ammunition, etc. Then, of course, there’s things like phone and internet. While some I have asked feel these are unnecessary luxuries, others tell me they are essential. While I think getting rid of them entirely might actually do more harm than good, as it would greatly hamper any efforts to secure full-time employment, I’ll need to figure out a way to cut these costs.

As for luxuries such as ‘going out once in a while’, I’ve discontinued that – but as I had already cut back significantly, the present savings are minimal.

I had thought about asking my employers to pay more for my services in order to increase my revenue to a level where I might -- along with cutting back on non-essentials such as meat and fresh fruits and vegetables – be able to make ends meet. But again, I have been advised that revenue is not my problem – spending is.

So, since it would be irresponsible of me to pay current obligations and necessary expenses until I have a fiscally responsible plan to avoid future debt in place, as stated above, I will suspend all payments effective August 2nd. I am unable to tell you at present when the new plan will be in place, but remain confident it won’t be long, as by August 5th or 6th I imagine I’ll be getting pretty hungry.

In the event you don’t hear from me by August 10th, I have enclosed contact information for the executor of my estate.

I remain confident that this necessary action will in no way impact our future business relationships, particularly in areas such as the fees and interest charged on my accounts.

Sincerely,


The Desperate Blogger


cc. The United States House of Representatives



Sorry DUmbshit, only DUmmies are buying your widdle rant.

pyackog
06-03-2011, 10:11 AM
I love the fact that no matter how obvious, the DU posters have to specifically point out their satire to keep a bunch of waterheads from taking them seriously. :D

Novaheart
06-03-2011, 10:25 AM
I love the fact that no matter how obvious, the DU posters have to specifically point out their satire to keep a bunch of waterheads from taking them seriously. :D

When I was over there, I never used smilies. I got banned. Now, in fairness I didn't specifically get banned for things I said which were taken wrong by idiots such as Varmint Crumble and EFelatio. I was banned for things which could only be taken one way: referring to Islam as a cancer and immigration as infestation.

pyackog
06-03-2011, 10:33 AM
When I was over there, I never used smilies. I got banned. Now, in fairness I didn't specifically get banned for things I said which were taken wrong by idiots such as Varmint Crumble and EFelatio. I was banned for things which could only be taken one way: referring to Islam as a cancer and immigration as infestation.

That'll do it.

I have to admit that the things I was banned for my last time (probably aroudn 2004 or so) are things I see getting said regularly now, ie that some democrat pols may actually not be perfect.

Apache
06-03-2011, 10:38 AM
Awwww...they are soooooo kute sometimes. (http://www...they are soooooo kute sometimes.) :rolleyes:





Sorry DUmbshit, only DUmmies are buying your widdle rant.

Wow!That poor OP...


Why does that situation sound so familiar :confused:

Novaheart
06-03-2011, 01:17 PM
That'll do it.

I have to admit that the things I was banned for my last time (probably aroudn 2004 or so) are things I see getting said regularly now, ie that some democrat pols may actually not be perfect.

The mods at DU must keep notes on people they identify as potential "threats" to their "security". They are actually pretty good at picking up on trouble makers such as myself early on. What you actually get banned for and the reason for your banning may not be the same thing. The last time I was there, I was surely marked when I declared that Obama was screwing up and that if he didn't deliver on healthcare then I would kick him to the curb. I was also widely criticized for my comments on the excuses made for black voters in California supporting Prop 8. Not surprisingly, I could say anything I liked about Republicans or Mormons.

SarasotaRepub
06-03-2011, 01:37 PM
The mods at DU must keep notes on people they identify as potential "threats" to their "security". They are actually pretty good at picking up on trouble makers such as myself early on. What you actually get banned for and the reason for your banning may not be the same thing. The last time I was there, I was surely marked when I declared that Obama was screwing up and that if he didn't deliver on healthcare then I would kick him to the curb. I was also widely criticized for my comments on the excuses made for black voters in California supporting Prop 8. Not surprisingly, I could say anything I liked about Republicans or Mormons.


That was a funny one. It was hilarious watching them tap dance around that one. :D

txradioguy
06-03-2011, 03:38 PM
Dear ThisThreadIsSatire,

Thank you for your letter informing us you are willfully defaulting on payments on items purchased from us. All we ask is that you please leave your doors unlocked and your car in the driveway with the keys above the visor. Our repo personnel will be there to take back your possessions within 24-48 hours.

V/r

Your Creditors

NJCardFan
06-03-2011, 04:31 PM
The Deadbeat Blogger
Fixed for accuracy.

Dan D. Doty
06-03-2011, 06:54 PM
Wonder if Blogger is surprised when the Creditors send guys over his house and start taking stuff out :rolleyes:

Novaheart
06-03-2011, 11:21 PM
Dear ThisThreadIsSatire,

Thank you for your letter informing us you are willfully defaulting on payments on items purchased from us. All we ask is that you please leave your doors unlocked and your car in the driveway with the keys above the visor. Our repo personnel will be there to take back your possessions within 24-48 hours.

V/r

Your Creditors

Fun fact to know and tell: Only Sears actually secures your credit with your purchases. If you default, Visa and Macy's won't be coming after the things you bought on their cards, but Sears will repo appliances and even carpet.

txradioguy
06-04-2011, 12:38 PM
Fun fact to know and tell: Only Sears actually secures your credit with your purchases. If you default, Visa and Macy's won't be coming after the things you bought on their cards, but Sears will repo appliances and even carpet.

Here's hoping the DUmmie purchased EVERYTHING on a Sears card! :D

But seriously I think I'd rather have it repoed instead of the months of harassing phone calls at home and at work by a collection agency.

fettpett
06-04-2011, 11:10 PM
he's an idiot

djones520
06-04-2011, 11:51 PM
Here's hoping the DUmmie purchased EVERYTHING on a Sears card! :D

But seriously I think I'd rather have it repoed instead of the months of harassing phone calls at home and at work by a collection agency.

God yeah... I had the Star Card folks contact my commander once during my first deployment, because I had gotten payments mixed up. That's wasn't fun.