Carol
07-22-2011, 12:27 PM
link (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1546544)
Sarah Ibarruri Donating Member (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-22-11 11:49 AM
Original message
How right wing ideology is destroying my relationship with my boyfriend. Part II
I had previously asked for advice on what to do about my boyfriend, who is a right winger. After long looking for a lefty, liberal, social democrat, etc., and finding none, I let myself fall for a right winger who claims to be Libertarian. However, since Libertarians are nothing but right wingers who want to be popular with the girls on the left, I was never fooled. Nonetheless, he was kind to me, tremendously funny, we talk endlessly about many things, he is family-oriented (which I am, being of Spanish-Cuban background), and he was not a cheapskate (nor am I).
I received much advice, most of it to dump him, because although I like him, his views about life are horrific. When I say his views about life, I mean everything to do with real life (politics – who will live and die, who will eat and not eat, what shall be done about the helpless, the disabled, the poor, the old, how one views the least among us, etc). Let’s just say he’s a TYPICAL RIGHT WINGER when it comes to how life in this country should run, and he’s been happy as as a clam with it for the past 31 years, which I have not.
I’ve been attacking him for his views, which I consider unconscionable and vicious, and pointing out that, whereas he’s rich, I’m not and the shit Republicans have been doing to this country for the past few decades, have affected me, my family, my friends, etc. He disagrees. This makes me livid.
Well, last night he said a few things which made me really upset, and I began to cry out of frustration with his inability to use his brain and heart. Here they are:
• He said it’s politicians, NOT the corporations with the mega-rich, who are to blame for the bad condition of our country (I disagree – politicians are the mere lackeys of corporations and the mega-rich. Behind the curtain if you pull it, you’ll always find the mega-rich and corporations);
• He said that because he doesn’t trust politicians, he made damned sure that he was protected financially, and lived his life making sure of that. This is not fully correct. His parents left him money, aided him in buying his first house, etc. Also, he was lucky. He was born with a genius I.Q. I don’t have that, and most people also don’t. Lastly, he’s had luck. He seems to think that because he had luck, brains and parents who helped him, that everyone else should somehow be at the same financially comfortable level.
• He claims that things were just as bad before Reagan for the middle class as they are now. I disagree.
• He claims that I’m worried about my financial situation for nothing, since he can bail me out. I explained to him that it’s not about him flying in like Superman to help me. That I DEMAND to be able to function in a country, and not have my country trashed so badly, and my situation so impossible that I cannot even help myself.
Someone explain to me why he, an intelligent man, is looking at things so skewed, so limited, wears such blinders. Are right wingers BORN emotionally hardened (and stupid) that way, or do they become that way?
No Sara it's lefties like you who are looking at things so skewed, so limited, and wears such blinders. Blinders that reduce everything to me, myself and I. You have let your envy, jealousy, victim mentality, as well as your arrogance and selfishness skew not only the way you think, but the way you treat others. Frankly YOU are the intolerant one in that relationship and it make you look ugly, ugly, ugly.
But don't worry, I don't expect you to change. Narcissists like you, Obama and many others on DU are so into denial that I know that expecting change is simply unrealistic. Eventually your boyfriend will see that as well considering the way you treat him.
If HE treated you the way YOU are treating HIM you would be irate.......yet you think it's OK to treat him that way, right????
WinkyDink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-22-11 11:51 AM
Response to Original message
1. I hope this guy is gorgeous, that's all I'm going to say.
sinkingfeeling Donating Member (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-22-11 11:59 AM
Response to Original message
6. I couldn't stay with him since he is self-centered and only cares about his family and friends.
He has a dark heart. And if Sarah truly cared about him she would allow him to have differing opinions and accept him the way he is and not arrogantly declare that she and only she is right and that HE has to change.
Finally a sane message:
CC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-22-11 12:00 PM
Response to Original message
9. I don't know why you would
ask a bunch of strangers on a message board (even a Dem one) why a man they have never met is the way he is or why you would be with someone you seem to dislike everything they believe. :shrug: I doubt beyond the advice to leave if you find his beliefs so reprehensible you can get much real insight. Maybe some professional help would help you to understand yourself and your attractions.
As to why a generic right winger thinks the way they do, the reasons can be a varied as the people and any opinions on it here would be just that.
Oh, and did anyone notice that it's "RIGHT WING IDEOLOGY" that is destroying the relationship when it is really Sarah's intolerance of other views and beliefs. The problem is SARAH and her intolerance, not what the boyfriend believes.
Sarah Ibarruri Donating Member (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-22-11 11:49 AM
Original message
How right wing ideology is destroying my relationship with my boyfriend. Part II
I had previously asked for advice on what to do about my boyfriend, who is a right winger. After long looking for a lefty, liberal, social democrat, etc., and finding none, I let myself fall for a right winger who claims to be Libertarian. However, since Libertarians are nothing but right wingers who want to be popular with the girls on the left, I was never fooled. Nonetheless, he was kind to me, tremendously funny, we talk endlessly about many things, he is family-oriented (which I am, being of Spanish-Cuban background), and he was not a cheapskate (nor am I).
I received much advice, most of it to dump him, because although I like him, his views about life are horrific. When I say his views about life, I mean everything to do with real life (politics – who will live and die, who will eat and not eat, what shall be done about the helpless, the disabled, the poor, the old, how one views the least among us, etc). Let’s just say he’s a TYPICAL RIGHT WINGER when it comes to how life in this country should run, and he’s been happy as as a clam with it for the past 31 years, which I have not.
I’ve been attacking him for his views, which I consider unconscionable and vicious, and pointing out that, whereas he’s rich, I’m not and the shit Republicans have been doing to this country for the past few decades, have affected me, my family, my friends, etc. He disagrees. This makes me livid.
Well, last night he said a few things which made me really upset, and I began to cry out of frustration with his inability to use his brain and heart. Here they are:
• He said it’s politicians, NOT the corporations with the mega-rich, who are to blame for the bad condition of our country (I disagree – politicians are the mere lackeys of corporations and the mega-rich. Behind the curtain if you pull it, you’ll always find the mega-rich and corporations);
• He said that because he doesn’t trust politicians, he made damned sure that he was protected financially, and lived his life making sure of that. This is not fully correct. His parents left him money, aided him in buying his first house, etc. Also, he was lucky. He was born with a genius I.Q. I don’t have that, and most people also don’t. Lastly, he’s had luck. He seems to think that because he had luck, brains and parents who helped him, that everyone else should somehow be at the same financially comfortable level.
• He claims that things were just as bad before Reagan for the middle class as they are now. I disagree.
• He claims that I’m worried about my financial situation for nothing, since he can bail me out. I explained to him that it’s not about him flying in like Superman to help me. That I DEMAND to be able to function in a country, and not have my country trashed so badly, and my situation so impossible that I cannot even help myself.
Someone explain to me why he, an intelligent man, is looking at things so skewed, so limited, wears such blinders. Are right wingers BORN emotionally hardened (and stupid) that way, or do they become that way?
No Sara it's lefties like you who are looking at things so skewed, so limited, and wears such blinders. Blinders that reduce everything to me, myself and I. You have let your envy, jealousy, victim mentality, as well as your arrogance and selfishness skew not only the way you think, but the way you treat others. Frankly YOU are the intolerant one in that relationship and it make you look ugly, ugly, ugly.
But don't worry, I don't expect you to change. Narcissists like you, Obama and many others on DU are so into denial that I know that expecting change is simply unrealistic. Eventually your boyfriend will see that as well considering the way you treat him.
If HE treated you the way YOU are treating HIM you would be irate.......yet you think it's OK to treat him that way, right????
WinkyDink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-22-11 11:51 AM
Response to Original message
1. I hope this guy is gorgeous, that's all I'm going to say.
sinkingfeeling Donating Member (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-22-11 11:59 AM
Response to Original message
6. I couldn't stay with him since he is self-centered and only cares about his family and friends.
He has a dark heart. And if Sarah truly cared about him she would allow him to have differing opinions and accept him the way he is and not arrogantly declare that she and only she is right and that HE has to change.
Finally a sane message:
CC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-22-11 12:00 PM
Response to Original message
9. I don't know why you would
ask a bunch of strangers on a message board (even a Dem one) why a man they have never met is the way he is or why you would be with someone you seem to dislike everything they believe. :shrug: I doubt beyond the advice to leave if you find his beliefs so reprehensible you can get much real insight. Maybe some professional help would help you to understand yourself and your attractions.
As to why a generic right winger thinks the way they do, the reasons can be a varied as the people and any opinions on it here would be just that.
Oh, and did anyone notice that it's "RIGHT WING IDEOLOGY" that is destroying the relationship when it is really Sarah's intolerance of other views and beliefs. The problem is SARAH and her intolerance, not what the boyfriend believes.