View Full Version : Wild Turkey Bourbon Wants Obama's Pardoned Thanksgiving Bird

11-23-2011, 12:44 PM
The Huffington Post Rachel Tepper
First Posted: 11/22/11 02:38 AM ET Updated: 11/23/11 08:39 AM ET


WASHINGTON -- President Obama on Wednesday will take part in the long-running White House tradition of sparing a turkey from the Thanksgiving plate with an official pardon. The lucky bird may even have a job lined up afterward: Wild Turkey Bourbon wants to hire it as an official "spokesbird."

What does that mean, exactly? The bird would strut its stuff as an attraction at Wild Turkey's distillery and, in return, would receive asylum from any sharp objects aimed at its neck.

Master distiller Jimmy Russell made his case bluntly, in a statement: "In a manner of direct speaking, we invite the President to give us the bird."

Russell pointed out that the Lawrenceburg, Ky., distillery's recent $50 million expansion, which enlarged the property to 134,000 square feet, would provide ample space for the bird to roam freely and live comfortably. Also, he added, there would be "no threat of future Thanksgiving-related job cuts."

For now, the bird and its alternate are supposed to head to George Washington's Mount Vernon Estate and Gardens after pardoning, where they're slated to serve as a main attraction during Christmas through Jan. 6. After that, they'll live out their days in a custom-built home at the estate.

Now, if we could just return the rest of the administration's turkeys to the private sector, we might start the recovery.

Oh, and I am sure that the new spokesbirds new duties will include attempting to get Wild Turkey an Obamacare waiver and securing a sweetheart Dept. of Energy loan for a vague green power initiative involving bird feces, which will be fast-tracted, thanks to their new connection to the administration. :D


11-23-2011, 12:48 PM
A wild turkey is not the tame thing as a domestic turkey!:confused:

Dan D. Doty
11-27-2011, 03:37 AM
Wouldn't be a bummer for the White House if after the turkey was pardoned he held up a 7-11 and pistol whipped the clerk :D:D:D