View Full Version : The TRUTH about Kwanzaa

12-13-2011, 08:58 AM
BLACKS IN AMERICA have suffered an endless series of insults and degradations, the latest of which goes by the name of Kwanzaa.

Ron Karenga (aka Dr. Maulana Ron Karenga) invented the seven-day feast (Dec. 26-Jan. 1) in 1966, branding it a black alternative to Christmas. The idea was to celebrate the end of what he considered the Christmas-season exploitation of African Americans.

According to the official Kwanzaa Web site -- as opposed, say, to the Hallmark Cards Kwanzaa site -- the celebration was designed to foster "conditions that would enhance the revolutionary social change for the masses of Black Americans" and provide a "reassessment, reclaiming, recommitment, remembrance, retrieval, resumption, resurrection and rejuvenation of those principles (Way of Life) utilized by Black Americans' ancestors."

Karenga postulated seven principles: unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity and faith, each of which gets its day during Kwanzaa week. He and his votaries also crafted a flag of black nationalism and a pledge: "We pledge allegiance to the red, black, and green, our flag, the symbol of our eternal struggle, and to the land we must obtain; one nation of black people, with one G-d of us all, totally united in the struggle, for black love, black freedom, and black self-determination."

Now, the point: There is no part of Kwanzaa that is not fraudulent. Begin with the name. The celebration comes from the Swahili term "matunda yakwanza," or "first fruit," and the festival's trappings have Swahili names -- such as "ujima" for "collective work and responsibility" or "muhindi," which are ears of corn celebrants set aside for each child in a family.

Unfortunately, Swahili has little relevance for American blacks. Most slaves were ripped from the shores of West Africa. Swahili is an East African tongue.

To put that in perspective, the cultural gap between Senegal and Kenya is as dramatic as the chasm that separates, say, London and Tehran. Imagine singing "G-d Save the Queen" in Farsi, and you grasp the enormity of the gaffe.

Worse, Kwanzaa ceremonies have no discernible African roots.


12-13-2011, 09:43 AM
To put it mildly, this holiday would be akin to if the Klan started it's own holiday. This "holiday" is racist to it's core and I'm talking about true racism, not the bastardized term used today.

Molon Labe
12-13-2011, 09:44 AM
Leave it to a stupid professor to make up a holiday for people to feel good about themselves.

12-13-2011, 09:46 AM
Leave it to a stupid professor to make up a holiday for people to feel good about themselves.

This has nothing to do with feeling good about oneself. Karanga is a black nationalist and a Black Panther and is the true face of racism. If there was ever anyone worthy of the "N" word, it's this piece of shit.

12-13-2011, 10:03 AM
Merry Kwanza, homies.

12-13-2011, 10:24 AM
Merry Kwanza, homies.
Yo Bro, You too.

12-13-2011, 10:29 AM
The Prof pulled this out of his Kwanza.:rolleyes:

12-13-2011, 10:40 AM
I live in Metro Detroit and I don't know a single person who celebrates Kwanza. I'm sure the schools teach about it, both city and burb, and some public places have displays that reflect it, but otherwise, it's all Christmas and Hannukah, here.

Even the Dearborn City Hall has a creche display in front of it.

12-13-2011, 10:59 AM
Feel good about themselves?
How do you think they feel when they read the truth about a holiday they thought was genuine? Used, maybe? Betrayed?

12-13-2011, 12:18 PM
Leave it to a stupid professor to make up a holiday for people to feel good about themselves.

He had nothing else to do while he was in prison.

12-13-2011, 01:28 PM
So, basically, in 1966, the Grinch got tired of trying to steal Christmas and came up with a plan to co-opt it?

Every Who
In the hood
Liked Christmas a lot...

But a prof named Karenga
On campus,
Did NOT!

The prof hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that he hated the lighthearted larks
It could be, that it kept blacks from following Marx.
But I think that the Holiday glow that's endemic
Was too much good cheer for a shrill academic.

Whatever the reason,
His feelings or facts,
He stood there and seethed about Christmas and blacks,
Staring down from from his seat in the faculty lounge,
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.

"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, and he paced in the faculty lounge,
"I MUST find a way to stop Christmas downtown!"
"Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop Christmas from coming!
...But HOW?"

Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!

"I know just what to do!" The Prof Laughed as he went on his way.
And he made up a totally fake holiday.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great highbrow scam!
"I'll replace every tree with some corn and a yam!"

"All I need is a flag..."
Set in Red, Black and Green.
And a plan to make out like it's Africa's scene.

He loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
Full of candles and corn
And he thought of the blacks.

Then he made up some words."
Like "ujima" or "muhindi,"
From a language that nobody spoke
in the vicinity.

Then he slid down the chimney. And took quite a chance.
For a guy fattened up by his faculty grants.
He got stuck only once, for it got a bit sticky.
In a fireplace flue with a flowing dashiki.

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
I-Pods! And Playstations! Clothes not yet worn!
He replaced them with candles, and textiles and corn!

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!
He took the Who-chitlin's! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox, he couldn't be quicker.
Why, that prof even took their last can of malt liquor!

Then he rode through the night to the faculty lounge,
Where he told his TAs all about what went down.
"Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" he said with a sneer.
"They're finding out now that Kwanzaa is here!
"They're just waking up! it's all part of my plan!
"Then the Whos down in Who-ville will take on the man!"

"That's a noise," grinned the Prof,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And the Pof put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...

Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Had left all the Kwanzaa crap and gone to the mall!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And what happened then...?
Well...on campus they say
That the Prof's tiny brain
blew a gasket that day!
And after the break, when he taught his next class,
The Whos jacked him up,
and they all kicked his ass.

12-13-2011, 01:55 PM
And, for those who missed it last year:

T'was the night before Kwanzaa
and all through the hood.
not a homie be stirrin'
and that was all good.
The kiddies was hiding
under they's beds,
in hopes that the drive by
be missin' their heads.
I messed with no candles
or fake ears of corn,
I was settlin' down
with some internet porn,
when out on the fire escape,
I heard a noise,
so I grabbed my AK
and called up my boyz.
The fire escape rattled
like a cage with a monkey,
I figured a burglar,
or some hopped up junkie,
But outside the window,
instead of my buddies,
was a college professor
of African Studies.
"Yo, yo, you" said the prof
as he climbed in the room.
"Get yo ass of that couch,
we got business to be doin'."
I said, "Yo, get yo ass out of here,
Don't you take me for some ignorant sucka!"
"I know that your holiday's
made up and so,
I'm heaving your ass
back out into the snow."
"But, homes," said the prof,
who was white as white bread,
"I'm here with a holiday
message to spread."
"So chillax, my man,
and be mellow and nice."
and I'll lay down a rap
that will make you think twice."
but before he could spin,
I said, "Yo, Vanilla Ice!
Don't be playing this bull
with a fake holiday.
You treat us as if
we were born yesterday.
This crap is just made up
and on lies it's built,
'cause you want to assuage
your white liberal guilt."
So get your ass out,
'fore I blow it away,
and if you are smart,
on the campus you'll stay."
Then I busted some caps,
and he ran through the night,
"Merry Christmas, you fool!
and stay out of my sight!"

12-13-2011, 08:14 PM


12-13-2011, 09:30 PM
And, for those who missed it last year:


12-13-2011, 09:32 PM
Kwanza has never been anything more than a punchline. I know of no black people who celebrate it.

12-13-2011, 09:33 PM
Merry Kwanza, homies.

Fa Sho Shorty!

12-14-2011, 12:35 AM
Glad that you liked it. I think that for next year I need to do the illustrated version.

Kwanza has never been anything more than a punchline. I know of no black people who celebrate it.

I don't think that I've ever met anyone who celebrated it, but I do remember a couple of places where they put out some of the accouterments, along with the tree and the menorah, just in case they might offend anyone with the omission, and apparently my spell checker recognizes it, which is too funny.

Have a kwazy Kwanzaa, ya'll.

12-14-2011, 01:42 AM