View Full Version : #02 Top DUmmie of 2011

12-30-2011, 08:04 PM
One feels as if he's getting ready to clean the Augean Stables, the dreary task of dealing with the top two primitives of 2011. It's a formidable task, and one wishes it were already over; there's a lot of excresence to deal with.


Congratulations to Taverner, chosen as #02 Top DUmmie of 2011.

Taverner, who'd also been #14 top primitive in 2010, is about 41 years old and living in "the Bay Area" of California, the son of a policeman from around there. One doesn't know if he's married, but he does boast of children the rest of us are paying for.

But what he talks about mostly is his use of illicit drugs.

Taverner makes the long-ago-departed maudlin waif, the Mythsaje primitive, look clean and sober in comparison.

Taverner (1000+ posts) Tue May-17-11 02:06 PM
Original message

Anyone else take offense to the "put the bong down, son" copout?

And yeah, its a cop out. I usually see this kind of snark when the person can't argue with reason anymore, and its so much easier to call your opponent a hippie and high five the other frat boys in the room.

Dreamer Tatum (1000+ posts) Tue May-17-11 02:08 PM
Response to Original message

2. So...when people tell you to drop the bowl, it's BAD.

But you calling them "frat boys" is...GOOD.

Yet they're the ones who can't argue with reason.


Sounds like those frat boys need to be ELIMINATED.

Taverner (1000+ posts) Tue May-17-11 02:13 PM
Response to Reply #4

5. No doubt one of my many fans had something to say here

But I put them on ignore, so I guess I'll never hear their whiney trap


Taverner (1000+ posts) Wed Dec-07-11 03:56 PM
Original message

Thought Experiment: What if ALL drugs were legalized?

That is everything from Marijuana to Heroin and everything in between.

You can buy Vicodin, Meth, Heroin, PCP, LSD and what have you OTC, manufactured by pharmaceutical companies. That means Abbot Labs makes meth pills just like they used to, and Bayer makes Heroin, just like they used to.

picture of an old bottle

"But what about the children???" you ask. To get these medicines, just like Sudafed, you need to be 18. Of course determined kids will get them, but determined kids are getting these anyway.

Addicts of these drugs will not suffer health risks from impure versions of their drugs.

Overdoses will be rare, since every user will know their dose, and not have to guess.

And drug violence vanishes. The black market is gone, and the Zetas and what not go out of business. Seriously, why would a user want Black Tar Heroin when they can get the real stuff OTC.

Let me tell you about a new phenomenon going on in Russia. It's a very impure version of Morphine made from Codeine pills called "Krokodil." It is called this because the users who take it end up with crocodile like skin - although that's the least of their problems. You see, Krokodil has Hydrochloric Acid in it, which literally causes user's skin to melt off. If you want some nightmares, Google 'Krokodil' images. If you have a weak stomach, don't. I have a strong stomach and those pics gave ME nightmares.

If Heroin or Morphine was OTC, there would be no Krokodil. There would be no bathtub chemists making meth.

Remember prohibition? During that time there was something called "Bathtub Gin" where the distiller would make homemade whiskey. Only they didn't know what they were doing, and ended up producing wood alcohol, which is a poison. Many died because of this, and those that survived often went blind.

My question is this: What GOOD does drug prohibition do? Really - does it get addicts into treatment? Does it remove them from access to drugs (here's a hint: no - drugs are just as easy to get in prison as they are in any high school.)


12-30-2011, 08:05 PM
Taverner (1000+ posts) Fri Oct-07-11 01:12 PM
Original message

Yes, if you think Pot Smokers are any different than you, then you are a Bigot

If you think people who smoke pot are lazy, shiftless, leeches, 'addicts' or any other negative connotation then you ARE a bigot.

You are prejudiced.

And bigotry and prejudice are NOT liberal or progressive values


Taverner obviously isn't a fan of the Republican party, and in fact is quite the "socialist:"

Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Tue Jun-14-11 08:07 AM
Original message

It's about time we called the GOP for the treasonous scum they are

Why is no one accusing them of sabotaging the economy?

Why is no one accusing them of destroying democracy?

Why does our party play patty-cakes when the treasonous scum has come with a gatling gun?

Why is it anytime we do get someone to call it like it is (Kucinich, Weiner, Grayson, Feingold, Wellstone) they either get redistricted out, politically asassinated or 'airplaned'?

And why does our party do nothing to stop these things?

The penalty for treason is death - not saying the GOP should die, but not saying they shouldn't

Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Tue Jun-14-11 08:14 AM
Response to Reply #1

2. How many dead Republicans? Question is not how many I'd like to see...

But how many dead should there be...

My opinion is irrelevant


12-30-2011, 08:06 PM
And of course he doesn't care much for God either.

Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Tue Jul-26-11 05:21 PM
Original message

Why are you angry that I don't believe in God?

This is not for the majority of Christians on DU who couldn't give a rat's ass what I believe in.

This is for the Dogged 2% who, although they will never admit it, think I have committed a great wrong against them in not believing in their god.

For me it's simple: no proof. No proof, no god. Anecdotal stories about people becoming better people after attending religious services does nothing to convince me. And telling me "You gotta serve somebody" does not make it so. I serve nobody - and in fact I do not 'serve,' I work. I do whatever the hell I want. And sometimes, I do what other people want.

I happen to believe that thoughts are not sins: you can sit and think about killing puppies all day and it doesn't make you a bad person. Going out and killing a puppy? Different story. We should be judged on our ACTIONS, not our thoughts.

And I also think respect is EARNED, not GIVEN. You do not automatically get respect by virtue of being you. You get it the old fashioned way: you earn it.

For some of you, I have just committed the heresy of heresies. I have basically rejected your worldview. I have said "I'm glad you're happy, but I won't choose that path. Sorry."

And some of you wish me good day on my path and enjoy the diversity. And some of you seethe with all kinds of anger that I would not take your path.



I don't think it matters so much what Taverner thinks of God than it does what God thinks of Taverner.

And to round out his street-credibility with the other primitives, Taverner's anti-military.

Taverner (1000+ posts) Sat Oct-15-11 02:50 PM
Original message

I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill. Kill.

And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL." And I started jumpin up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."

DumbAss Tanker
Hero Member
Posts: 15950

Alice's Restaurant. Not even original nuttiness, nor properly attributed.

Scourge of the Primitives
Posts: 27531

Was the Taverner primitive having a dream about going to medical school and becoming an abortionist?


12-30-2011, 08:06 PM
The Taverner primitive enjoys a certain taste in women:

Taverner (1000+ posts) Fri Oct-07-11 02:21 PM
Original message

Men are attracted to circles

I don't know how many times I've complimented a woman on her attractiveness, only for her to respond with "Thanks - but I'm fat." Often times these women are not what you would call "overweight" - even though some would be deemed by society as such.

Thing is, most guys I know are attracted to circles. What affectionately are called "Earth Mothers" (although I hate that term.) Most guys would rather be with a woman than a 12-year-old boy, which is what most models in ads look like to me. Hell, most of the models in those ads don't even look like that! Most of that is Photoshop trickery.

Women have curves, and throughout human history those curves were celebrated. Just take a look at Rubens' art for an example. There is nothing on Earth as striking and as exhilarating as the embrace of a woman with curves.

And let's talk cellulite. I am a fan of it. It adds depth to a woman's beauty. It is beautiful in itself - cascading down a woman's hamstrings. It helps connect the circles.

Stretch marks? Like marks in fine leather, also adding depth. Giving a woman's skin what I perceive as beauty marks.

Real women have curves. It's high time we celebrated the circle.


12-30-2011, 08:07 PM
Once in a while, the Taverner primitive looks for a job:

Taverner (1000+ posts) Fri Aug-26-11 10:11 AM
Original message

Here's what I don't get - I am intereviewing for a Scandinavian company

Their laws require that they offer all of the benefits to their foreign employees that they offer back home. This includes 6-8 weeks of paid vacation a year, top of the line medical benefits (and supplemental benefits to employees in countries with health care,) paid paternity/maternity, and a bunch of other good benefits.

So do American companies do this for their foreign employees? Can I hear a big "noooooooooooooo"!

You know, for all Apple claims to "think different" they sure love their slave labor in China and Vietnam.

Sarah Ibarruri (1000+ posts) Fri Aug-26-11 10:12 AM
Response to Original message

1. (sigh) Sometimes I wish I lived in a Scandinavian country. Don't make me envious.

Taverner (1000+ posts) Fri Aug-26-11 10:13 AM
Response to Reply #1

2. Go work for a Scandinavian company if you can!

There are a few here

Although I don't think all Scandinavian countries have this law...Ikea sure doesn't.

Sarah Ibarruri (1000+ posts) Fri Aug-26-11 10:52 AM
Response to Reply #2

9. I recently read here on DU that Target opened in one Scandinavian country, and Target...must provide its employees over there whatever is required by their govt laws, so employees of Target over there, are living a much better life than Target employees over here.

Scourge of the Primitives
Posts: 27531

Where in the world is there a country that does not demand that a business provide its employees whatever is "required by law"?


And perhaps he actually lands a job, but it's doubtful.

Dan D. Doty
12-31-2011, 12:21 AM
Taverner is a piece of work :rolleyes:

Making all drugs over the counter just like booze doesn't mean that people stop abusing it; I guess the all wise and powerful Taverner never met a wino in his perfect life.

Tavener doesn't believe in God because no proof? I guess he never heard the word faith before in his perfect life.

Tavener doesn't like the military? I guess he believes WWII was won by a bunch of assholes who jumped up and down with signs and bitch until the fascists in Germany, Japan and Italy felt guilty and gave up :rolleyes:

Taverner likes Europe better then the US? Then why isn't he there?

Taverner is nothing more then your basic Burn-Out who believed all the sh*t the other Burn-Ous told him in High School and has kept himself stone since waiting for the world to come by his basement and kiss his ass five times a day.

And every Burn-Out I've know since High School is doing the same thing Tavener is, or in jail, or dead, or the funny farm. Losers who stayed blasted all the time with reality, life and history pasting them by while they had their lips pressed against a bong.

12-31-2011, 10:45 AM
Is he not the failed bookstore owner?

I know he's a failure at life in general, but I think he tried to start up a used bookstore a few years back.

12-31-2011, 10:58 AM
Whew, I remember so many of those nutty threads!!! :eek::D