View Full Version : After I Slapped a McCain Bumper Sticker on My Car, Somebody Tore It Off

09-14-2008, 10:34 AM
The Loneliness of the Blue-State Conservative

Hours after I slapped a McCain bumper sticker on my car, somebody tore it off in the parking lot of a local courthouse. No problem; I had bought a pack of ten and replaced it when I got home. I laughed when I thought that whoever had done it probably claims to support "diversity."

Perhaps it was the shock of seeing a McCain sticker in very blue Los Angeles, where such sightings were rare, that caused the individual to rip it off. I had certainly seen very, very few, and not a single McCain lawn sign. Meanwhile, Obama bumper stickers seem to be standard equipment on every Prius in the land. Yes, I was feeling every bit the lonely Republican.

About a week later, I also felt scared. While driving in my neighborhood one afternoon, I was suddenly distracted by the sight of the driver behind me, threateningly close on my tail.

She was screaming and was very clearly thrusting the finger at me. (You know, the rude one.) She alternated this gesture with making an "M" with her other fingers, and jabbing them as well.

I knew I had not cut into her lane or violated any other rules-of-the-road etiquette. I could come to only one conclusion: my McCain sticker was causing road rage!

I was consoled by the fact that, as an extreme liberal, she probably didn't have a gun on her. On the other hand, she seemed dangerous, and I wanted an exit strategy faster than the one Obama wants for Iraq.

I pulled over as soon as I could to let her pass and get to her anger management session, but instead of speeding away from me and my odious political convictions, she pulled up alongside of me, still screaming and gesturing.

I pretended to look impassive, but by the time she finally drove off, emitting more than just greenhouse gasses, she wasn't the only one who needed calming down.

Unfortunately, I was not much safer at home. I went to check the latest discussions on my writers' group online, and Palin-mania was at fever pitch.

New discussion threads included "Latest Palin Scandal: Better than Desperate Housewives!," "Say No to Palin," "Palin Favors Book Banning!"

"Father of Bristol's Baby: I Don't Want Kids!," "Palin Hubby DUI Arrest," "Huffington Post on Palin," "Gloria Steinem on Palin," and "Quick Guide to Palin Deceptions.

" These were only a few of the day's rantings, and many of the discussions drew astonishingly large numbers of responses relative to the size of the membership.