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NJCardFan
02-08-2012, 10:20 PM
The baby we've been fostering since July is most likely leaving us on Friday. To say we're devastated is an understatement. I just don't get giving a child back to people who are ill suited to take care of a child. I guess pulling children out of a particular household 3 times isn't enough.

Arroyo_Doble
02-08-2012, 11:01 PM
The baby we've been fostering since July is most likely leaving us on Friday. To say we're devastated is an understatement. I just don't get giving a child back to people who are ill suited to take care of a child. I guess pulling children out of a particular household 3 times isn't enough.

We have some good friends who foster. They had to give up two boys recently at it was harsh. It takes a special person to weather that. Good job.

Janice
02-08-2012, 11:51 PM
Very sorry to hear that NJCF. I certainly pray that you and your wife are able to gracefully weather the emotional storms that inevitably come with such an insane turn of events.

SarasotaRepub
02-09-2012, 12:12 AM
Oh man that must be tough. :( Hang in there...

noonwitch
02-09-2012, 11:05 AM
The baby we've been fostering since July is most likely leaving us on Friday. To say we're devastated is an understatement. I just don't get giving a child back to people who are ill suited to take care of a child. I guess pulling children out of a particular household 3 times isn't enough.

I'm sorry. There will be more babies, though, there always are.


3 times-we have laws for repeat customers. The second time, CPS in Michigan is expected to file to terminate the parents' rights. If the parents' rights are terminated, the law applies to any other children the parents may produce in the future.

Lanie
02-09-2012, 12:00 PM
I'm sorry to hear this. Social Services and the courts can be so unreasonable on this subject. You are doing good taking care of these kids. Hang in there.

AmPat
02-09-2012, 12:10 PM
That's too bad for your family and the boy. Hang in there. Our foster daughter just recently called us after 4 years. She had been suffering the same abuse at home these last few years as that which had her removed in the first place. She spent all last year in a juvenile facility. :mad:
Any time the State takes over, you can be assured it will muck it up.:mad:

NJCardFan
02-09-2012, 09:58 PM
I'm sorry. There will be more babies, though, there always are.


3 times-we have laws for repeat customers. The second time, CPS in Michigan is expected to file to terminate the parents' rights. If the parents' rights are terminated, the law applies to any other children the parents may produce in the future.

I'm finding out that in NJ, the goal of social services is to get the children reunited with the families by any means necessary. I saw both parents for the first time today. Dad looked like a decent guy but moms was...ugh. And she's pregnant again and due in April. Well, baby boy was born in April so she didn't waste any time getting pregnant again but considering she's on the public dole, this should make the left very happy.

Articulate_Ape
02-10-2012, 12:04 AM
All I can say is that you are a prince among men, NJ. I would literally choose death over parenting a child again. Kudos. You, sir, are a better man than I.

SaintLouieWoman
02-10-2012, 12:32 AM
I'm so sorry to hear that the baby is going back to that same family. If they've messed up so many times, I don't understand returning the little one to that situation. Is there any way you and your wife can try to adopt? I know that it's a long process, but once you have the child, you could avoid that heartbreak of losing the little one.

We admire you for what you've been doing to help. You and your wife are good people.

NJCardFan
02-10-2012, 12:55 AM
I'm so sorry to hear that the baby is going back to that same family. If they've messed up so many times, I don't understand returning the little one to that situation. Is there any way you and your wife can try to adopt? I know that it's a long process, but once you have the child, you could avoid that heartbreak of losing the little one.

We admire you for what you've been doing to help. You and your wife are good people.

The mother had had the children pulled from her 3 times already and if you ask me, from what I've seen, the mom and dad are still a couple and it wouldn't surprise me if when dad gets baby boy, he'll allow her unauthorized visits. If he's not the father of her unborn child, this will make 6 children for her from 5 different fathers with the oldest child being 8. It's just the kind of household a baby should be in. Yeah, let's take him out of a stable, loving household and give him back to the scumbag parents. Best interests of the child my ass.

As for adopting, very little options. We can either adopt kids in state custody who are either older or have assorted issues(nothing against these kids but that's not for me), or we can go through an agency which isn't cheap. The least expensive agency we've found will cost us about $15K. It's not like we got that kind of money hanging around. Can we raise it? Sure but damn. No wonder why people don't adopt often.

Speaking of which, if anyone knows of anyone who has someone in their family who is pregnant and who is going to give the baby up for adoption, please let me know. The agency we're going to deal with recommends that we try to network something.

noonwitch
02-10-2012, 11:03 AM
As for adopting, very little options. We can either adopt kids in state custody who are either older or have assorted issues(nothing against these kids but that's not for me), or we can go through an agency which isn't cheap.


The older the kids and the longer they are in the foster care system, the more messed up they get.

Jersey needs to revamp their child protection program like we did in the 90s. We don't give people 3 chances with little kids, mainly because we don't want kids growing up in our system anymore. We want them to either go home to parents who got their acts together, orto be adopted or have a permanent guardian.