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View Full Version : The Forgotten Man in the Sandra Fluke Case



Odysseus
04-04-2012, 06:39 PM
I had an epiphany today while listening to Rush Limbaugh and thinking about the trouble that he'd gotten into over the Sandra Fluke debacle. If we accept Ms. Fluke's claims at face value, that she has spent over $3,000 over three years on birth control, and that she is not promiscuous, then there are certain implications of this that need to be addressed. First, the economics: As I wrote elsewhere, law school takes three years, so we're looking at about $1,000 per year for birth control. Wal-Mart advertises Trojan Ultra Thin Lubricated Condoms, 36 ct for $11.33, or roughly 31 cents apiece. Her $3,000 figure would buy 3,228 condoms per year over three years, or 8.8 condoms per day. If we round down to eight condoms per day, that's still eight heterosexual acts of intercourse per day, every day, for three years. Now, this may also include other acts for which a barrier is necessary, but it's still eight sexual experiences per day, with a man (two women wouldn't need a condom).

If we also accept Fluke's denial of promiscuity, then she is clearly in a committed relationship with one man, and if the numbers above are accurate, then what a man he is.

Think about the man who can achieve eight sexual encounters per day, with the same woman, for three years running. This man is passionate about Ms. Fluke, extremely dedicated to her, and has the kind of stamina usually associated with being born on a planet that orbits a red sun (Krypton, for example). This forgotten man should be honored for his prodigious strengths, for never failing to rise to the occasion, for epitomizing the values for which we have previously memorialized our greatest men (and whose resemblance to the Washington Monument is clearly more than metaphorical).

I call upon this man, this giant, to come forward (he's clearly capable of doing so repeatedly) and share his secrets with the rest of us. He owes it to us to raise us up to his standard. If he does not come forward of his own volition (or, if after three years of eight daily romps, he simply cannot come forward once more), then Ms. Fluke should provide us with his name and the details of his physical regimen and diet. I, for one, would be willing to cover the costs of any woman's birth control in return for that secret, as I think any of us would.

NJCardFan
04-04-2012, 07:37 PM
Good one as usual Ody.

Odysseus
04-04-2012, 11:28 PM
Good one as usual Ody.

Thanks. I'm simply trying to rise to the occasion. :biggrin-new:

NJCardFan
04-05-2012, 11:10 AM
Thanks. I'm simply trying to rise to the occasion. :biggrin-new:

You're going to make me post another pic of Ron Simmons aren't you.

jediab
04-05-2012, 02:06 PM
You're going to make me post another pic of Ron Simmons aren't you.

You mean the WWE Ron Simmons?

http://s17.postimage.org/f8yin9xvf/ron_simmons_damn_wwe.jpg (http://postimage.org/image/f8yin9xvf/)

NJCardFan
04-05-2012, 11:43 PM
You mean the WWE Ron Simmons?

http://s17.postimage.org/f8yin9xvf/ron_simmons_damn_wwe.jpg (http://postimage.org/image/f8yin9xvf/)

That be him and his famous catch phrase.

m00
04-05-2012, 11:58 PM
You guys realize that oral contraceptive (aka "the pill") is used to treat a wide range of hormonal issues and generally used to regulate hormones, right? Did she say specifically she was spending $3000 on condoms?

Rockntractor
04-06-2012, 12:01 AM
You guys realize that oral birth control (aka "the pill") is used to treat hormonal imbalance and generally regulate hormones, right?

Since the Fluke flack it has been posted probably ten times at the least.

Hawkgirl
04-06-2012, 12:13 AM
If we also accept Fluke's denial of promiscuity, then she is clearly in a committed relationship with one man, and if the numbers above are accurate, then what a man he is.

Think about the man who can achieve eight sexual encounters per day, with the same woman, for three years running. .

I just have one question....Is he by any chance single?:evil-grin:

m00
04-06-2012, 12:22 AM
Since the Fluke flack it has been posted probably ten times at the least.

Ah, my mistake. I've been all about the Trayvon threads lately.

Rockntractor
04-06-2012, 12:25 AM
You guys realize that oral contraceptive (aka "the pill") is used to treat a wide range of hormonal issues and generally used to regulate hormones, right? Did she say specifically she was spending $3000 on condoms?

You do understand the use of humor do you not? This post could have been put in the humor section but sometimes that takes away from the levity.
Here is a brief discription you might find helpful, I don't normally source from Wikipedia but I thought you might be the most familiar with them.

Humour or humor (see spelling differences) is the tendency of particular cognitive experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement. The term derives from the humoral medicine of the ancient Greeks, which taught that the balance of fluids in the human body, known as humors (Latin: humor, "body fluid"), control human health and emotion.

People of all ages and cultures respond to humour. The majority of people are able to experience humour, i.e., to be amused, to laugh or smile at something funny, and thus they are considered to have a sense of humour. The hypothetical person lacking a sense of humour would likely find the behaviour induced by humour to be inexplicable, strange, or even irrational. Though ultimately decided by personal taste, the extent to which a person will find something humorous depends upon a host of variables, including geographical location, culture, maturity, level of education, intelligence and context. For example, young children may favour slapstick, such as Punch and Judy puppet shows or cartoons such as Tom and Jerry. Satire may rely more on understanding the target of the humour and thus tends to appeal to more mature audiences.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humour