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View Full Version : CDC: There is no zombie apocalypse



bijou
06-01-2012, 06:18 PM
In light of so many disturbing instances of cannibalism in recent weeks, the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is making one thing clear: Zombies do not exist.

Some have joked that the zombie apocalypse must be finally upon us, considering recent news. There was the horrific face-eating arrest in Miam (http://www.seattlepi.com/default/article/Witness-says-naked-attacker-was-chewing-man-s-face-3590461.php)i, the Maryland student who claims to have eaten his roommate’s heart and brain (http://www.seattlepi.com/default/article/Police-Md-man-admits-to-eating-parts-of-victim-3602378.php), the Canadian porn star accused of killing, eating and dismembered another man (http://www.seattlepi.com/news/article/Canada-police-Body-parts-victim-a-Chinese-student-3601844.php), and the New Jersey man who stabbed himself then threw his skin and intestines at police.
Just to be clear, the CDC spelled it out an email to The Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/01/cdc-denies-zombies-existence_n_1562141.html): The walking dead are not responsible, nor do they exist. ...

http://blog.seattlepi.com/thebigblog/2012/06/01/cdc-there-is-no-zombie-apocalypse/

Rockntractor
06-01-2012, 06:28 PM
I bet they will no longer be saying that when somebody is sucking their guts down like spaghetti!http://www.smiley-lol.com/smiley/halloween-peur/1zombie.gif

Hawkgirl
06-01-2012, 06:57 PM
The CDC is just covering up their tracks. This is clearly some kind of government social experiment.:evil-grin:

RedGrouse
06-01-2012, 07:54 PM
Bunnies are plotting zombie apocalypse against humans.

Apache
06-01-2012, 08:06 PM
Bunnies are plotting zombie apocalypse against humans.

http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs25/i/2008/073/6/3/My_rabbit__s_bloody_zombie_by_paulboy.jpg

Yup! Eveyone has heard of Rob Zombunny...:biggrin-new:

bijou
06-02-2012, 04:24 AM
The CDC is just covering up their tracks. This is clearly some kind of government social experiment.:evil-grin:

OMG, so the CDC is simply a zombie front organisation?

:OhNoes:

noonwitch
06-04-2012, 08:57 AM
OMG, so the CDC is simply a zombie front organisation?

:OhNoes:


It makes sense, after all the Red Cross is run by and for vampires-why do you think they always have blood shortages and make desperate calls for donations?

linda22003
06-04-2012, 11:11 AM
A zombie attack doesn't start out as an apocalypse, you know - it has to build momentum.

Rockntractor
06-04-2012, 11:55 AM
A zombie attack doesn't start out as an apocalypse, you know - it has to build momentum.

That's right, a pair of lips here a pair of lips there and before you know it's apackoflips!

ThinkingBig
06-04-2012, 03:41 PM
Just in case.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Zombie-Survival-Guide-Protection/dp/1400049628/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1338838784&sr=8-6

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41uEWtxhc0L.jpg


Skip right to page 28, Weapons and Contact Techniques.

Madisonian
06-04-2012, 06:50 PM
Just in case.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Zombie-Survival-Guide-Protection/dp/1400049628/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1338838784&sr=8-6

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41uEWtxhc0L.jpg


Skip right to page 28, Weapons and Contact Techniques.

Actually, just in case...
http://www.hornady.com/assets/images/promos/zombie/zombie-package-photo.jpg

Rumor has it they work well.
Only problem so far is telling the difference between a Zombie and a Progressive type Liberal. Looking like Sean Penn only further confuses the matter.