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Odysseus
06-11-2012, 10:53 AM
This letter was written by Ronald Reagan to his son, Michael, on the occasion of his wedding. It's a thoughtful, wonderful piece of writing and provides real wisdom.


In June of 1971, just days before his 26-year-old son, Michael, got married, future-U.S. President Ronald Reagan sent him the following letter of advice. It really is quite stunning.

(Source: Reagan: A Life In Letters (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0743219678/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=letofnot-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0743219678); Image: Ronald Reagan, via (http://strictlyright.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/ronald-reagan-6-9-78.jpg).)


Michael Reagan
Manhattan Beach, California
June 1971

Dear Mike:

Enclosed is the item I mentioned (with which goes a torn up IOU). I could stop here but I won't.

You've heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the "unhappy marrieds" and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.

Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn't know won't hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three A.M., a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back to an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn't take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn't ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other woman to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the woman you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.

Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.

Love,

Dad

P.S. You'll never get in trouble if you say "I love you" at least once a day.

AmPat
06-11-2012, 11:13 AM
Thank you Ronnie, you continue to deliver even from the grave. Something our present Occupier could learn from if only he were able.

linda22003
06-11-2012, 11:17 AM
And that marriage of Michael's lasted one whole year. He was actually married in 1970, and divorced in 1971.

AmPat
06-11-2012, 11:30 AM
And that marriage of Michael's lasted one whole year. He was actually married in 1970, and divorced in 1971.
Yeah, you're right, Ronnie's letter was the culprit.:rolleyes:

linda22003
06-11-2012, 11:43 AM
Nope. Ronnie's letter probably had nothing to do with it either way. It's interesting that his letter focuses entirely on sexual fidelity, though - maybe he knew what Michael's weak point was likely to be?

AmPat
06-11-2012, 11:56 AM
Nope. Ronnie's letter probably had nothing to do with it either way. It's interesting that his letter focuses entirely on sexual fidelity, though - maybe he knew what Michael's weak point was likely to be?
Oh, my mistake. A wonderful letter from a dad to his son was posted offering his son some great advice and wisdom, and you immediately pointed out the failed marriage. I guess I interpreted your negative response incorrectly???:rolleyes:

linda22003
06-11-2012, 12:23 PM
Yes, but it's not the first time you've done so, and it won't be the last.

Odysseus
06-11-2012, 01:08 PM
Yes, but it's not the first time you've done so, and it won't be the last.

You know, you could have just said that it was a nice letter, and let it go at that. Did you disagree with the advice?

txradioguy
06-11-2012, 02:02 PM
You know, you could have just said that it was a nice letter, and let it go at that. Did you disagree with the advice?

But the RINO in her insists she put the negative spin on anything Conservative.

In that way she's like our resident Romney basher.

They are both beating on the same dead horse.

AmPat
06-11-2012, 05:58 PM
Yes, but it's not the first time you've done so, and it won't be the last.
Strange, I wonder why I do that with your posts??? I suppose you have no part in that. :rolleyes:

Lanie
06-11-2012, 09:30 PM
I'm glad Ronald Reagan did place such a great importance on marriage and valuing the woman he loves. I don't think he was necessarily any better than Obama though as somebody suggested. As pointed out, he *did* divorce. I still think Reagan did value marriage, but I do think he wasn't better than certain other people. While getting a divorce doesn't make one somebody who doesn't value marriage, I do have to point out that Obama hasn't divorced.

Instead of making idols out of some Presidents and villains out of others using marriage as an excuse, why not just admire one's words of wisdom regarding marriage and leave it at that?

Lanie
06-11-2012, 09:32 PM
But the RINO in her insists she put the negative spin on anything Conservative.

In that way she's like our resident Romney basher.

They are both beating on the same dead horse.

Before the primary ended, nearly everybody here was a Romney basher. Just saying.

Apache
06-11-2012, 09:44 PM
Before the primary ended, nearly everybody here was a Romney basher. Just saying.

Yes, yes they were/are. However our choices have been somewhat narrowed now :friendly_wink:

Rockntractor
06-11-2012, 10:18 PM
Yes, yes they were/are. However our choices have been somewhat narrowed now :friendly_wink:

I guess we wouldn't need primaries if everyone backed the same candidate from day one, why does she need this explained?

txradioguy
06-12-2012, 04:59 AM
Before the primary ended, nearly everybody here was a Romney basher. Just saying.

Umm not really.

But thanks for being a contestant on "I'm a Libtard Idiot".

linda22003
06-12-2012, 08:07 AM
You know, you could have just said that it was a nice letter, and let it go at that. Did you disagree with the advice?

No, I didn't disagree, but it's a little curious that it's only about sexual fidelity. There is a lot more to marriage - even for 26 year old guys. :)

linda22003
06-12-2012, 08:09 AM
But the RINO in her insists she put the negative spin on anything Conservative.

In that way she's like our resident Romney basher.

They are both beating on the same dead horse.

I probably am a "RINO" by the lights of most people here - I was raised by what used to be known as "country club Republicans" and that is still the metier in which I'm comfortable. But I worked at the RNC during the Reagan administration and liked them both (especially Nancy, who was as contemptuous of "social" conservatives as I tend to be!).

linda22003
06-12-2012, 08:11 AM
Strange, I wonder why I do that with your posts??? I suppose you have no part in that. :rolleyes:

It's weird that you analyze my posts at all. I don't spend much time on yours! :biggrin-new:

noonwitch
06-12-2012, 09:20 AM
Nope. Ronnie's letter probably had nothing to do with it either way. It's interesting that his letter focuses entirely on sexual fidelity, though - maybe he knew what Michael's weak point was likely to be?


Or he knew his own weaknesses and how they contributed to the end of his marriage to Jane Wyman.

Gina
06-12-2012, 09:49 AM
Although it's gotten lost in the thread, the book referred to in the OP is wonderful. :smile-new:

linda22003
06-12-2012, 09:49 AM
Or he knew his own weaknesses and how they contributed to the end of his marriage to Jane Wyman.

I haven't heard any rumors of that; apparently it was Wyman who initiated the divorce, but I don't really know the reasons.

AmPat
06-12-2012, 11:25 AM
It's weird that you analyze my posts at all. I don't spend much time on yours! :biggrin-new:Notwithstanding the evidence to the contrary.:rolleyes:

noonwitch
06-12-2012, 12:53 PM
I haven't heard any rumors of that; apparently it was Wyman who initiated the divorce, but I don't really know the reasons.

Selena Waters. Although, according to her, it really wasn't an affair nor was in consensual sex.