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Hubie
06-27-2012, 12:32 PM
As a married man, I can attest to all of these.


1. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is right and YOU need to shut-up.

2. NOTHING: Means something and you need to be worried.

3. GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission, do not do it.

4. WHATEVER: A woman’s way of saying screw you.

5. THAT’S OKAY: She is thinking long and hard on how and when you will pay for your mistake.

BONUS WORD – WOW: This is not a compliment, she is amazed that one person could be so stupid!


(I've seen this list associated with a pic of Whoopi Goldberg, but I can't confirm if she's actually the author.)

Starbuck
06-27-2012, 12:39 PM
Southern women say, "Bless her heart".....it means "that bitch!"

noonwitch
06-27-2012, 01:38 PM
Southern women say, "Bless her heart".....if means "that bitch!"

A woman at court the other day got all rude with the security guard operating the metal detector. After she walked out of the building, he was about to start cursing and I just laughed and said "She's a child of God". He laughed at that point, too.

DumbAss Tanker
06-27-2012, 03:35 PM
I've seen a longer list of Female English, I think it included some of the following, IIRC:

NO = No

YES = No, usually, but it can mean 'Yes." Be sure your sarcasm and irony detectors are fully functional before proceeding on the latter assumption.

MAYBE = No

IT WOULD BE NICE IF = Attention to orders!

...and so on...

Gina
06-27-2012, 03:38 PM
How about: If you say so..
or: Does this make me look fat? (Correct response: You look beautiful, as always)

FlaGator
06-27-2012, 03:44 PM
You left out the worse of all...

"we need to talk."

Bailey
06-27-2012, 04:07 PM
How about: If you say so..
or: Does this make me look fat? (Correct response: You look beautiful, as always)

an addition to that statement, if a white woman says does this make my ass look big you say NO but if its a black woman you say YES. :D

Hubie
06-27-2012, 04:49 PM
an addition to that statement, if a white woman says does this make my ass look big you say NO but if its a black woman you say YES. :D

What do you say to Kim Kardashian?

Retread
06-27-2012, 06:46 PM
What do you say to Kim Kardashian?

Go away! you're trouble incarnate.

Bailey
06-27-2012, 07:33 PM
What do you say to Kim Kardashian?

I would prolly mumble to her being that close to those boobies.

Odysseus
06-27-2012, 09:14 PM
How about: If you say so..
or: Does this make me look fat? (Correct response: You look beautiful, as always)

The correct answer is to pause a moment, and then ask if she's lost weight.

Hawkgirl
06-27-2012, 09:47 PM
I've been told "let's be friends" is like a stake to the heart.:biggrin-new:

ABC in Georgia
06-27-2012, 10:36 PM
And I was once told by friend at a formal do we both attended long ago ...

"That dress looks *better* on you every year!"

We both laughed ... 'cause hers did as well! ... :biggrin-new:

~ ABC (and outta here til tomorrow.)

DumbAss Tanker
06-28-2012, 12:32 AM
You left out the worse of all...

"we need to talk."

As I recall, the correct translation for that one is "You need to listen."

:biggrin-new:

noonwitch
06-28-2012, 09:04 AM
The correct answer is to pause a moment, and then ask if she's lost weight.


You're good. You could teach classes to other men.

Hubie
06-28-2012, 03:40 PM
As I recall, the correct translation for that one is "You need to listen."

:biggrin-new:

Boy, is that ever true!

Hubie
06-28-2012, 03:41 PM
Go away! you're trouble incarnate.

I know. It's a gift.

Zathras
06-28-2012, 06:27 PM
Here's one for holidays like her birthday, aniversaries and other gift giving occasions:

"Oh honey, it's ok, I don't want anything."

Translation: "You better get me the biggest present you can find...OR ELSE!!!!"