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Elspeth
08-04-2012, 02:10 AM
Some of the funnier TV shows that aren't.

From theonion.com



The Dunham Group

PBS

11:00 a.m. EDT/10:00 a.m. CDT

Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham discusses the week's political developments with panelists Peanut, Bubba J, Achmed the Dead Terrorist, and Pat Buchanan.


$lapping $trangers

MTV

9:00 p.m. EST/8:00 p.m. CST

Contestants must slap as many unsuspecting passersby as they can for a chance to win $300.



News Team 9 Adventures

Cartoon

3:00 p.m. EST/2:00 p.m. CST

Adam, Sarah, Skip, and the rest of the team at the Boise-area NBC affiliate investigate property tax allocations in this all-new animated series.



Inadvertent Ice Road Truckers

History

9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST

After taking a wrong turn out of Calgary, trucker Dale Bronson eventually realizes he's hauled his load of Lady Jordache sporting apparel much too far north.



Nancy Grace's Kidnap Countdown

Headline

9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST

Nancy recounts her favorite kidnappings from 2011.



America's Great Interstate Rest Stops

A&E

9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST

It's just north of Milwaukee on I-94, where the brochures are plentiful and the fountain water is cold.


Pop Goes the Wiesel

History

9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT

You never know where Nobel Peace Prize winner and Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel might show up! This week it's a PartyLite event in a St. Louis suburb and 10-cent wing night at Rhino's Union Pub in West Seneca, NY.



House Haunters

HGTV

10 p.m. EDT/9 p.m. CDT

A pair of newly-deads are looking to haunt their first house in the Dallas area, but must choose between a quaint raised ranch, a modern end-unit condo, and a spacious colonial fixer-upper.


Ancient Mysteries

History

8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. CDT

Where did Mount Rushmore come from? When was it built? What does it mean? Were aliens involved?



I Shouldn't Be Alive

Animal

10 p.m. EDT/9 p.m. CDT

David Duke and whoever came up with those fucking electric hand dryers.



Rick Steves' Asia

PBS

9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT

In his first foray outside Europe, Rick is taken for all he's got and left for dead on a Manila roadside.



Chasers Of Storm Chasers

Discovery

10:30 p.m. EDT/ 9:30 p.m. CDT

Still hoping to finally meet their idols, aspiring storm chasers Kyle and Sean follow Reed and Joel, who follow a deadly West Texas tornado.



Now's Not The Time For Spiders!

Disc

7 p.m. EDT/6 p.m. CDT

The pranksters of the Spider Squad use their heaving sacks of arachnids to crash a lakeside marriage proposal and surprise a doctor's office where a patient is receiving a terminal diagnosis.



Conga Line

ABC

8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. CDT

The conga line gets tense this week when Kate tells Jason who tells Ryan who tells Allison who tells Rob who tells Trisha who tells Adam that she is in love with him.



Off-Season Christmas Tree Lot

CBS

8 p.m. EST / 7 p.m. CST

The sales team sits around and tells the occasional passerby that it's not that time of the year yet.



Joe Biden's Delaware

TLC

10 p.m. EST / 9 p.m. CST

Tonight: Uncle Joe shows off the place where he gets his ink, his favorite parking lots for doing doughnuts, and the Rehoboth Beach boardwalk where you can always spot some prime-grade tail.




N

PBS

11:30 a.m. EDT / 10:30 a.m. CST

The breakout hit letter from Sesame Street finally receives its own spin-off. Nick Nolte and Nine Inch Nails guest star.




Actual Science

DISC

7:35 p.m. EDT/6:35 p.m. CDT

This week, the chemical equations governing the interactions of H1-receptor proteins and antihistamines.



DHiPs

NBC

8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. CDT

Jack nabs a motorist with expired plates outside of Dover, while Chewy continually rides back-and-forth along Delaware's 23 miles of interstate.



Paranormal Cops

A&E;

10:30 p.m. EST/9:30 p.m. CST

This week the team investigates reports of an underage ghost loitering outside Foremost Liquors and badgering customers to buy her a half pint of Smirnoff.


Congressional Bloopers

C-SPAN

3 a.m. EST/2 a.m. CST

On this episode, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) accidentally votes for a bill to legalize machine guns, Orrin Hatch (R-UT) is caught saying he wouldn't mind if his grandchildren had a gay schoolteacher, and a window washer falls through a skylight.



Parking Garage Surveillance Camera

DISC

12 a.m. EST/11 p.m. CST

A tight advertising market has caused the Discovery Channel to lay off its overnight security guards, so if you spot anything suspicious happening in tonight's live feed from the network's parking garages, please call the number at the bottom of your screen.




How It's Broken

DISC

7 p.m. EDT/6 p.m. CDT

Tonight: A detailed look at the paper jam.




The NFL On Fox Pre-Pre-Pre-Pre-Pregame Show

FOX

12 p.m. EDT/11 a.m. CDT

Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long discuss the factors that may influence the elements that could affect the aspects that have a chance of impacting the details that will possibly shape the outcome of the game.



Bravo Coming Out Party

BRAVO

4 p.m. EDT/3 p.m. CDT

Four years after it would've surprised anyone, Bravo comes out as a gay network, winning hugs and cheers from Lifetime and Oxygen, and prompting Spike TV to move two channels away.



American Masters

PBS

9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT

More Bob Dylan.



I-70 Truckers

HISTORY

9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT

Tonight: Jeremy tracks retread debris across western Ohio, Clint catches some quick shut-eye on the shoulder of a Flagler, CO off-ramp, and Big Frank blasts his horn in exchange for a flash from two coeds in the back of a Jeep Wrangler.



The Real Housewives Of Mogadishu

BRAVO

10 p.m. EDT/9 p.m. CDT

Aasha is enraged when she finds out she's not on the guest list for Ugah's female circumcision.



I'd Hit That

SPIKE

9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT

From their bench in front of the Westfield Mall food court, 15-year-olds Mark Obst and Ted Baron judge whether or not they would do each and every female passing through their line of vision.




Archer Daniels Midland

CMT

8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. CDT

Thirty more minutes of corn being shot into a huge silo.



Fat Ghosts

Sci-Fi

8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. CDT

This show follows paranormal detectives as they track down apparitions that, to be quite honest, could stand to lose a few.




Ice Road Hookers

HISTORY
10 p.m. EST/9 p.m. CST
This weekly reality program chronicles the vicious competition and daring exploits of the rugged prostitutes who service the region's famed truckers.




Affirmative Action!

FOX

9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST

Two under-qualified cops crash through some fruit carts.



Paris Hilton's My New BFF

MTV

10 p.m. EDT/9 p.m. CDT

Four girls are eliminated when they can't explain the military buildup that led to Indonesia's occupation of East Timor.

Odysseus
08-04-2012, 11:28 AM
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:: thumbsup::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl ::thumbsup::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rot fl::rotfl::thumbsup:

LukeEDay
08-04-2012, 12:50 PM
:rotfl::lol::rotfl::lol::rotfl::lol::rotfl::lol::r otfl::lol::rotfl: