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Hawkgirl
10-18-2012, 12:32 AM
I was debating starting this in the Whiny Zone, but it sort of does apply to women. Bosses. That is.

We have recently been doing some "work reassignments" at the job. There have been layoffs. A certain gentleman who has flirted with me throughout the years has just taken a position as my direct subordinate. He's been my subordinate for years, but he's always worked the graveyard shift, so I hardly ever saw him. Though I did his evaluations and took care of any issues that occurred on his shift as those who work on that shift are my direct reports. It's been harmless flirting, for the most part..and I can dish it out when I receive it.:evil-grin:

Here is the problem. He has moved to my shift, in my direct working area. Without giving too much detail of my exact position, he's sort of like my secretary, but not really, because he assists coworkers more than he would me. However my office is directly next to him and he is in an open area. I have to pass him every time I leave my office. I have direct contact with the position, constantly, all day long.

He started a couple of weeks ago, and the attraction is mutual although I give NO hints of it. He brings me gifts, avocado's from his fruit tree, a machiato on his way in, one for him, one for me...etc. He's likes to hang out close to my office with small talk. I don't encourage it, but I also don't stop it. He is a very attractive Latin man, in his late 40's, has a house, is a conservative (we've been watching the debates at work). BUT FOR OBVIOUS reasons, I can't give him any hope or inkling that I'd date him ( in a heartbeat) if we didn't work together.

Dating in the hospital is not exactly discouraged as it goes on all the time. This guy's last girlfriend works in the same department and now they will be relieving each other at shift change. They lived together for 8 years and he also dated another employee before that for a LTR..so he's not a player.

TALK ME OUT OF THIS.

Rockntractor
10-18-2012, 12:44 AM
http://www.smiley-lol.com/smiley/drague/revebisous.gif

Hawkgirl
10-18-2012, 12:50 AM
Rock, you posted nothing.

Rockntractor
10-18-2012, 12:59 AM
Rock, you posted nothing.

Did too.

Oh and wait till after the election.

linda22003
10-18-2012, 08:41 AM
I would simply remind you of the old saying about gustation and defecation not taking place in close proximity. It's wise advice.

Molon Labe
10-18-2012, 08:44 AM
Talk you out of what? Sounds like you've already got it figured out.

SarasotaRepub
10-18-2012, 08:59 AM
Fire him and blame oBAMA.

:biggrin-new:

Odysseus
10-18-2012, 09:01 AM
I was debating starting this in the Whiny Zone, but it sort of does apply to women. Bosses. That is.

We have recently been doing some "work reassignments" at the job. There have been layoffs. A certain gentleman who has flirted with me throughout the years has just taken a position as my direct subordinate. He's been my subordinate for years, but he's always worked the graveyard shift, so I hardly ever saw him. Though I did his evaluations and took care of any issues that occurred on his shift as those who work on that shift are my direct reports. It's been harmless flirting, for the most part..and I can dish it out when I receive it.:evil-grin:

Here is the problem. He has moved to my shift, in my direct working area. Without giving too much detail of my exact position, he's sort of like my secretary, but not really, because he assists coworkers more than he would me. However my office is directly next to him and he is in an open area. I have to pass him every time I leave my office. I have direct contact with the position, constantly, all day long.

He started a couple of weeks ago, and the attraction is mutual although I give NO hints of it. He brings me gifts, avocado's from his fruit tree, a machiato on his way in, one for him, one for me...etc. He's likes to hang out close to my office with small talk. I don't encourage it, but I also don't stop it. He is a very attractive Latin man, in his late 40's, has a house, is a conservative (we've been watching the debates at work). BUT FOR OBVIOUS reasons, I can't give him any hope or inkling that I'd date him ( in a heartbeat) if we didn't work together.

Dating in the hospital is not exactly discouraged as it goes on all the time. This guy's last girlfriend works in the same department and now they will be relieving each other at shift change. They lived together for 8 years and he also dated another employee before that for a LTR..so he's not a player.

TALK ME OUT OF THIS.

Okay, but only because you asked.

There are two things that you have to worry about: If you date and it doesn't work out, you will have to see him every day. That could make for a very uncomfortable situation. Also, since he is subordinate to you, there are potential EO pitfalls, which would fall harder on you as the superior. Those are the downsides, and they can have significant impacts on your work situation as well as your personal one.

The upside is that you have someone there that seems to be compatible with you. If it worked out, you'd have a great longterm relationship with someone who is also in the loop at your job.

The critical question for you, is whether this has the potential for permanence. If it does, then you may want to consider it. If it doesn't, then you are playing with fire and are better off not going for it.

Hawkgirl
10-18-2012, 10:11 AM
I'm going to keep this on a professional basis. I don't want to set my company for a potential legal suit if things go awry. He has remained professional with his ex's and has remained a gentleman. The fact that we work in such close proximity, not to mention our roles, makes this a recipe for a disaster. I have dated coworkers in the past, but at the same level.

I'm going to make guacamole tomorrow with the avocados he gave me and share them with the staff. No secrets. Secrets lead to indiscretions.:redface:

Starbuck
10-18-2012, 10:57 AM
Oh, just go out with him. You know the risks - it sort of like investing, and if things don't work out maybe it won't be so bad.
Figure out the worst that can happen. Can you live with that?.......................Yeah. I thought so.:smile-new:

G'Luck!:smile-new:

Starbuck
10-18-2012, 10:59 AM
..........This guy's last girlfriend works in the same department and now they will be relieving each other at shift change........................

:rotfl:

ABC in Georgia
10-18-2012, 12:12 PM
I was debating starting this in the Whiny Zone, but it sort of does apply to women. Bosses. That is.

TALK ME OUT OF THIS.

No! No! No! ... :nono:

Danger! Poison Ivy Ahead!

"You can look but you better not touch!"


Measles make you bumpy
And mumps'll make you lumpy
And chicken pox'll make you jump and twitch

A common cold'll fool ya
And whooping cough can cool ya
But poison ivy, Lord'll make you itch!!

Poison ivy-y-y-y-y ... Poison ivy-y-y-y-y

Then again ... if he looks and sings anything like an older version of Diego Boneta ... all bets are off. Go for it! ... :evil-grin:

Only joking girl, don't do it.

Odysseus
10-18-2012, 04:10 PM
If you do it, the morning staff meeting will never be the same...

http://www.playbill.com/images/photo/8/A/8A92EBBB14C741239AF6F9930F6EFBE5.jpg
"You wanted to see me, ma'am?"

JB
10-18-2012, 04:41 PM
Run from this as fast as you can.

And don't do the opposite of what I just said.

Retread
10-18-2012, 05:25 PM
Make the guac, give him credit and then turn your back on this situation. Do not follow up.

I was always a big flirt at work. The good thing is that every lady I flirted with saw me flirting with the rest of them and knew it was never serious. Then I flirted with the wrong one and got a reprimand from HR.

Just don't.

Hawkgirl
10-18-2012, 08:03 PM
Bah, he is talking to me in Spanish now and asking if I want to go see Andrea Bocelli in concert. I said, Nah, tickets are too expensive and *I* don't want to pay that kind of money. He looked confused, but got it. Yesterday I was playing Bocelli songs on my iPod at work and he listened to a bit with me. (We have the same taste in music)

C'est la vie.

SaintLouieWoman
10-18-2012, 10:57 PM
Any way that you can arrange a transfer for him? That might solve the problem. Or if he does a really super job, maybe you can unobtrusively help get a promotion for him. Then you'll be equals and that nasty little part about you being his work superior is eliminated.

Also don't forget that a true friendship can be more lasting than a romance. I still have buddies that send me emails from St Louis, both clients and fellow employees. They were buddies, nothing more, but true friends.

It sounds like you have a nice relationship with him. Keep it cool and just enjoy it, but be careful to not give the office gossips any ammo.

Hawkgirl
10-18-2012, 11:44 PM
, but be careful to not give the office gossips any ammo.

That's what I want to avoid, more than anything.

Apocalypse
10-18-2012, 11:49 PM
http://www.xarj.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/funny-wedding-cake.jpg

ABC in Georgia
10-22-2012, 10:16 AM
Okay Hawkgirl ... Inquiring minds need to know.

How's it going? ... :evil-grin: :smile-new:

Elspeth
10-22-2012, 01:23 PM
http://www.xarj.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/funny-wedding-cake.jpg

The bride needs a bigger gun. :friendly_wink:

Hawkgirl
10-22-2012, 06:45 PM
Okay Hawkgirl ... Inquiring minds need to know.

How's it going? ... :evil-grin: :smile-new:

I reassigned him tonight to a different department. He needs to cool off.:evil-grin:

And the guacamole is delicious, I'm sharing it with everyone, except for him. I told him he can come by before the end of his shift to have some though.

This should straighten him right up.

Rockntractor
10-22-2012, 06:51 PM
No!! You can't have toy boy, that will be all.
http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/smileys-and-emoticons/angry/smileys-angry-662871.gif (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/)

Apocalypse
10-22-2012, 06:52 PM
I reassigned him tonight to a different department. He needs to cool off.:evil-grin:

And the guacamole is delicious, I'm sharing it with everyone, except for him. I told him he can come by before the end of his shift to have some though.

This should straighten him right up.

OOOooo... private meeting after work. "to have some"

Hawkgirl
10-22-2012, 06:57 PM
No!! You can't have toy boy, that will be all.
http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/smileys-and-emoticons/angry/smileys-angry-662871.gif (http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/)


He's 8 years older than me. I'm younger than most of the people who work for me. :cool:

Apocalypse
10-22-2012, 07:10 PM
He's 8 years older than me. I'm younger than most of the people who work for me. :cool:

You don't understand the term "Boy Toy"?




boy toy


1.
A male used specifically for pleasure and fun when they feel they are not giving enough attention.



2. A male "Friends with Benefits" with no obligations to each-other.

Hawkgirl
10-22-2012, 07:16 PM
Boy toys are normally younger, more virile males. Not to say older man lack the virility...but it's a term more applied to the younger boys.

Rockntractor
10-22-2012, 07:49 PM
You don't understand the term "Boy Toy"?




boy toy


1.
A male used specifically for pleasure and fun when they feel they are not giving enough attention.



2. A male "Friends with Benefits" with no obligations to each-other.

I say she is busted!http://www.smiley-lol.com/smiley/energique/sautlangue.gif

Hawkgirl
10-22-2012, 08:13 PM
I say she is busted!http://www.smiley-lol.com/smiley/energique/sautlangue.gif

Sellin a sista out like that? aight.

Rockntractor
10-22-2012, 08:17 PM
Sellin a sista out like that? aight.

Ruh Roh.http://i1110.photobucket.com/albums/h451/shymartinez1/SCOOBY-DOO/30.gif

ABC in Georgia
10-22-2012, 08:18 PM
I reassigned him tonight to a different department. He needs to cool off.:evil-grin:


Great decision! *Serious smile!*

And bless your boots for coming in. Is helping me to get through the next 40 mins waiting until the debate! ...:biggrin-new:

ABC in Georgia
10-22-2012, 08:26 PM
Boy toys are normally younger, more virile males. Not to say older man lack the virility...but it's a term more applied to the younger boys.

Believe you me Hawk ... they don't!!! ... :evil-grin:

:DDsmilie_panic:

Odysseus
10-23-2012, 12:36 AM
I reassigned him tonight to a different department. He needs to cool off.:evil-grin:

And the guacamole is delicious, I'm sharing it with everyone, except for him. I told him he can come by before the end of his shift to have some though.

This should straighten him right up.

Okay, a couple of CYA points here:

First, can the reassignment be construed as a step down for him? If so, document your reasons for making the change, to protect yourself.

Second, if you share the guacamole with him, do not offer to eat it off of any part of his anatomy. It might be misunderstood as an advance. :evil-grin:

Hawkgirl
10-23-2012, 09:10 AM
Okay, a couple of CYA points here:

First, can the reassignment be construed as a step down for him? If so, document your reasons for making the change, to protect yourself.

Second, if you share the guacamole with him, do not offer to eat it off of any part of his anatomy. It might be misunderstood as an advance. :evil-grin:

The reassignment was a one day thing(for now) It wasn't a step down, I just made him work in a different department that needed help due to high volume.

As for the guacamole, it was long gone before he had a chance to try it. I predict more avocados in my future.:cool:

One observation I've made, he has many lady friends stop by to ask for him. Hmmmm.

ABC in Georgia
10-23-2012, 03:32 PM
Hawkgirl ...

Put aside all the advice we have given in here for a moment.

The most important thing is for you to find out if he is Conservative or Liberal! ... :evil-grin:

Odysseus
10-28-2012, 11:21 AM
The reassignment was a one day thing(for now) It wasn't a step down, I just made him work in a different department that needed help due to high volume.

As for the guacamole, it was long gone before he had a chance to try it. I predict more avocados in my future.:cool:

One observation I've made, he has many lady friends stop by to ask for him. Hmmmm.

That could mean that he's a player, or that women simply like him, which you have already confirmed because, let's face it, you're a woman and you like him. Don't read too much into that. The critical issues are the ones raised about the workplace, your position and his and the second and third order effects on your job. If the reassignment has made dating him safer from that perspective, then you can reevaluate the situation, but don't lose sight of the important thing, which is your career.

Hawkgirl
11-01-2012, 11:30 PM
don't lose sight of the important thing, which is your career.

I wouldn't, it pays my bills. That's the thing..I ALWAYS play it safe and do the right thing when it comes down to it. But flirting is harmless.:cool: That's where I shall keep it.

RobJohnson
11-09-2012, 08:43 PM
I wouldn't, it pays my bills. That's the thing..I ALWAYS play it safe and do the right thing when it comes down to it. But flirting is harmless.:cool: That's where I shall keep it.

Work is work. I've been very close to a couple co-workers and now we hardly speak. A couple others we ended up in very difficult situations. Work and relationships usually do not work so I tend to run like hell the other way now.

Now at work there is a love fest between two younger location leaders. It's against the rules and it's so obvious I puke a little...