View Full Version : Progressive Guit Test Questions 21 - 30

09-09-2016, 03:44 PM
21. Where did you spend your last vacation?

Church trip to the Holy Land +15 Guilt points

Touring the USA +10 Guilt points

Touring France 0 Guilt points

Agitating for Revolution in Central America -10 Guilt points

Lying in front of Zionist bulldozers in the Gaza Strip -25 Guilt points

22. Which is your preferred place to shop for groceries?

Wal-Mart +15 Guilt points

A food co-op -5 Guilt points

Local food pantry -5 Guilt points

Dumpster diving -10 Guilt points

23. What car do you drive?

SUV +30 Guilt points

Family car +20 Guilt points

I rent Zipcars +5 Guilt points

I only use public transportation 0 Guilt points

I transport my belongings in a shopping cart (Lumpenwagon) -20 Guilt points

24. What is the capacity of your toilet tank?

5 Gallons +10 Guilt points

3 Gallon +5 Guilt points

1 Gallon 0 Guilt points

No water - I just "go" in the street -5 Guilt points

No water - I use a neighbor's lawn to be eco-friendly to the grass - 10 Guilt points

25. Do you recycle?

Never +20 Guilt points

Yes, newspapers and bottles 0 Guilt points

Yes, and I reuse paper cups and plates -5 Guilt points

Yes, and I reuse toilet paper -10 Guilt points

Toilet paper is a waste of precious resources; I use my bare hand -15 Guilt points


26. What is your preferred energy source?

Nuclear power +50 Guilt points

Oil +40 Guilt points

Coal +30 Guilt points

Wind 0 Guilt points

Solar - 5 Guilt points

Ethanol/corncobs -25 Guilt points

Hiring an Undocumented-American to pedal an old exercise bike jerry-rigged to a generator -50 Guilt points

27. You're behind the wheel of your BMW, waiting for the green arrow so you can turn left into Starbucks for your latte, when you see a homeless person on the median with a crudely lettered cardboard sign asking for help. What do you do?

Ignore him +25 Guilt points

Give him whatever change I have handy 0 Guilt points

I take him home for dinner and plead with my father to give him a job in his shop -25 (+5 if you have to promise Daddy this will be "the last time")

Nothing. Instead, I go home to my parents' $450,000 McMansion, where I write in my blog, lamenting his predicament and the government's failure to fund programs that will get him out of it -50 Guilt points

28. You're out there making a Difference™, raising Awareness™, and showing how much you Care™ by doing the following:

Taking responsibility for my life +50 Guilt points

Voting +25 Guilt points

Participating in marches and demonstrations 0 Guilt points

Buying up carbon credits -5 Guilt points

Dressing up in costume and pretending to be Gitmo prisoners or dead soldiers -10 Guilt points

Baring my genitals in public to protest war and violence -15 Guilt points

Burning and stomping on the U.S. flag -30 Guilt points

Wearing colored wristbands and awareness ribbons -40 Guilt points

Traveling the world in my Gulfstream jet and air conditioned limo, pontificating to others on how to live, which isn't how I live. Yes, I feel guilty about that; I despise my lifestyle and the wealth required to maintain it, but it's necessary to raise awareness among the masses. It doesn't help that people like you keep pointing out the so-called hypocrisy. It's easy to just stand around and criticize. AT LEAST I CARE! -50 Guilt points

29. If your home is invaded by a burglar, how would you most likely respond?

I would aim for the head +20 Guilt points

I would try to call 911 +10 Guilt points

I would try to understand his innermost feelings 0 Guilt points

I would let him know that his predicament is all my fault -5 Guilt points

I would offer to join him if we go after the neighborhood Republicans, who are really at fault -10 Guilt points

30. You believe that socialism is...

The utopian ideology of forced collectivism, where individuals exist only to serve the abstract "common good". It has resulted in poverty, slavery, famines, and genocide - and is accountable for over 150,000,000 murders in the 20th Century +50 Guilt points

Something that appeals to angry people with intellectual affectations, who never seem to have real jobs or the ability to properly groom/cut/wash body hair +30 Guilt points

Something all my professors talked about in college whose meaning I forgot after I took the final exam +10 Guilt points

An idealistic system of fairness, equity, and social justice that has been flawed in practice because it has never, in a hundred years, been given a chance to work properly 0 Guilt points

A movement that has time and again, through resistance and struggle, solved the problems of poverty, racism, ignorance, illiteracy, worker exploitation, inequality, American imperialism, Zionist colonialism, and capitalist oppression -15 Guilt points

Find your number in the Guilt™ hierarchy

+551 to +800 Guilt points = Non-person

You and your life's work are barred from being mentioned in media publications. Ineligible for re-education. After the Revolution subject to Revolutionary Tribunal Che Guevara style (shot in the head without trial). Everyone you ever came in contact with has been contaminated and is therefore also guilty. We will find them, too. You are all incorrigible corporate war-mongering Zionist terrorists; the people will continue to resist your capitalist attacks by any and all means.

+301 to +550 Guilt points = Patriarchal chauvinistic war profiteer

You are an unfeeling tool of the capitalist class and a menace to the state. Barred from working in educational, media, or entertainment industries. Not qualified for government grants or any other public assistance. Re-education strongly advised. After the Revolution you and your family will be arrested and relocated to a place where The People's Scientists will remove your guilt.

+101 to +300 Guilt points = Selfish capitalist pig

The only way for you to redeem your existence and feel better about yourself is to donate the amount that matches your score to the People's Cube. Donations are to be made here (link to PayPal). Print out and show the receipt to your local Kommissar. After the Revolution one receipt will be redeemable for one Get Out of Gulag coupon. Not for sale. Not transferable to family members. Violators shall be subject to Revolutionary Tribunal Che Guevara style.

+100 to -200 Guilt points = Moderate centrist

You are neutral, neither good nor bad, but only one who arouses suspicion. Expect to be placed under continuous surveillance. Eligible to work in the media but only as a token "conservative commentator." Grants or any assistance from the government and charitable institutions denied.

201 to to -400 Guilt points = Idealistic progressive

Entitled to government grants and promotion within the administrative hierarchy. Recommended for media appearances and awards. As a trusted member of the community you will be placed on only intermittent surveillance. We will count on you to provide us with useful information on your neighbors, co-workers, friends, and family.

-401 to -600 Guilt points = Selfless supporter of socialist revolution

The sense of entitlement is strong within you, comrade! Indeed, you are qualified for public assistance in the amount that matches your score. Print out your score and bring it to the local Kommissariat to redeem for one of the following: (A) free NPR broadcast by members of Media Workers Union, (B) free indoctrination by members of Teachers Union, or (C) free entertainment by the best state-sponsored members of Artists Union who will place a cult object of your choice into a bucket of urine.

601 to -800 Guilt points = Hero of the Revolution

Qualified for a position of a media darling, most-talked-about celebrity, the sexiest man / woman / transgendered person alive, and positive role model for the young generation. Entitled to winning national and international prizes in the field of the Party's choosing - from Oscar, Nobel, Pulitzer, Emmy, and Golden Globes to the prestigious "Pinky's Beet of the Week at the People's Cube Award and Bumper Sticker."

801 to -900 Guilt points = Protector of The People

Congratulations, Comrade! The People welcome you as an Ultimate Guiltless Member of Society! Call the Obama Administration and tell them you are entitled to leadership positions inside the government, non-profit, and community organizations, as well as subservient media, educational, or entertainment branches.