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View Full Version : Chivalry...dead, alive...or life support?



Phillygirl
06-16-2008, 07:36 PM
Linda numbers' post in another thread about men and hats got me thinking about chivalry. Is it still alive? Should it be? If you're a man, do you practice it? If you're a woman do you accept it, expect it?

It used to be that if a woman walked over to a table to sit down, the men would all stand until she was seated, and at least one or two would assist with pulling the chair out for her. I generally find now that of a table of 6, one will make at least a half-hearted effort to pull the chair out for the lady...the other 5 will not stop shoveling the mashed potatoes in their mouths long enough to notice.

Opening car doors? I'm okay with a man opening the car door for me (assuming he is driving) as long as I'm getting in the car. But really, does he expect me to sit there all helpless and wait for him to walk around and open the door for me when I'm getting out?

I used to not wait for a man to open other doors for me. Just habit (and the fact that my peer group generally didn't do such niceties). I've been scolded enough about my quick pace (and allegedly my pace would get even quicker as I approached doors) to now be able to smoothly wait and allow the door to be opened for me.

Holding my coat for me to get into. I hate that. Most men do not have the ability to angle it properly to actually "help" me on with my coat and there's then nothing smooth about the gesture. I prefer to put my coat on myself.

Lighting of the cigarette. I like this...as long as the man knows how to do it...and doesn't have the letter set super high because he's a cigar smoker (yes, I have some experience with this and the singed eyebrows to prove it).

So...where do you all stand on chivalry?

JB
06-16-2008, 07:52 PM
Alive for men. On life support for women.

Phillygirl
06-16-2008, 07:53 PM
Alive for men. On life support for women.

Expound, please.

Shannon
06-16-2008, 07:53 PM
Chivalry is dead.


Curse Sir Walter Raleigh.

JB
06-16-2008, 07:56 PM
Expound, please.Merely kicking your well thought out thread when it was receiving no action was chivalrous enough. ;)

Phillygirl
06-16-2008, 07:59 PM
Merely kicking your well thought out thread when it was receiving no action was chivalrous enough. ;)

Such a gentleman you are!! :D

Shannon
06-16-2008, 08:01 PM
Such a gentleman you are!! :D

Yankees can never be gentlemen.

JB
06-16-2008, 08:03 PM
correction...Dead for some women.

BSR
06-16-2008, 08:04 PM
Yankees can never be gentlemen.

I would be scared that you'd kick me in the puddle if I laid my jacket down for you to walk on. :(

Shannon
06-16-2008, 08:08 PM
I would be scared that you'd kick me in the puddle if I laid my jacket down for you to walk on. :(

I would...and I'd laugh at you afterwards.

BSR
06-16-2008, 08:09 PM
I would...and I'd laugh at you afterwards.

And that ladies and gentleman is why chivalry is dead..

Phillygirl
06-16-2008, 08:13 PM
And that ladies and gentleman is why chivalry is dead..

Funny. That's the same reason the cat is dead.

BSR
06-16-2008, 08:15 PM
Funny. That's the same reason the cat is dead.

Cause Shannon was around?

Phillygirl
06-16-2008, 08:16 PM
Cause Shannon was around?

And has a license.

JB
06-16-2008, 08:17 PM
Expound, please.I'll do everything you mentioned in your OP except the part about walking around to open the door for a woman to exit a vehicle. I don't see much of that anymore.

I always stand (or half-stand) when a woman sits down or exits from a table and sometimes I get looks like I just walked off Jupiter. Some time-honored traditions are fading away.

Phillygirl
06-16-2008, 08:22 PM
I'll do everything you mentioned in your OP except the part about walking around to open the door for a woman to exit a vehicle. I don't see much of that anymore.

I always stand (or half-stand) when a woman sits down or exits from a table and sometimes I get looks like I just walked off Jupiter. Some time-honored traditions are fading away.

That one really is. If I am the last to arrive at a table I usually make a point of telling the gentlemen not to stand on my account...it always generates nervous laughter...of course 1/2 of them are still digging into their salads during the convocation...that annoys me as well.

Oh...and people that start eating their food even though everyone has not yet been served. I never do...and then when it is noticed and the person waiting for their dinner tells me to go ahead and eat I love the sudden contortions of logic the other zealous eaters give as to why it was okay for them to begin eating. I usually just smile and nod and tell them of course they are right (but why the zeal over the rubber chicken they're about to gnaw on anyway?)

DarkScribe
06-16-2008, 08:24 PM
I think for the most part, chivalry is dead, and that is a sad thing. I think the newer generation wouldn't know that if it bit them in the ass. I may be referring to manners, as well, because in my experience most of them severely lack it. I can only assume--since I am obviously not a woman--that they will not behave very chivalrous as young adults. However, I believe that a lot of us older adults still try to uphold certain acts of chivalry.

Phillygirl
06-16-2008, 08:30 PM
I think for the most part, chivalry is dead, and that is a sad thing. I think the newer generation wouldn't know that if it bit them in the ass. I may be referring to manners, as well, because in my experience most of them severely lack it. I can only assume--since I am obviously not a woman--that they will not behave very chivalrous as young adults. However, I believe that a lot of us older adults still try to uphold certain acts of chivalry.

It is sad. Chivalry is a good thing. Last year a man offered me his seat on the parking lot shuttle in the airport...I was absolutely shocked and grateful (I thought it boded well for the fact that I might not actually miss my plane..but no such luck!)

Shannon
06-16-2008, 08:34 PM
And has a license.

You are legion.:mad:

BSR
06-16-2008, 08:40 PM
You are legion.:mad:

I'm a Legionnaire..

http://www.wildfiregames.com/0ad/pages/pictures/legionarymain3.jpg

SarasotaRepub
06-16-2008, 08:49 PM
It's alive!

I always open the door for SLW and almost always open the car for her to get in.
I usually do the coat thingy but Philly is right, sometimes I don't get it right and
she just takes it out of my hands.

No cigs for SLW so I don't have to worry about that one. :D

BSR
06-16-2008, 09:06 PM
It's alive!

I always open the door for SLW and almost always open the car for her to get in.
I usually do the coat thingy but Philly is right, sometimes I don't get it right and
she just takes it out of my hands.

No cigs for SLW so I don't have to worry about that one. :D

That's cause you're a newlywed. You're still having smurf sex. Just wait till you're having hallway sex, then you'll be singing a different tone.

The 1st kind of sex is Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you
first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with
your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex
anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with
your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you
usually have sex in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with
your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway
you both say...."Fuck you"

Cold Warrior
06-16-2008, 09:30 PM
Standing and handling a woman's chair: Check
Opening doors: Check
Holding coats: Check
Lighting cigarettes: Check, although a bit out of practice

Spending the night with a $5000 hooker: Priceless

:D

asdf2231
06-16-2008, 09:38 PM
And has a license.


She killed Lancelot with her car as well? :confused:


:D:p


I subscribe to the wisdom of Elwood P. Dowd:

"Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" - she always called me Elwood - "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me."

Chivalry is an extension of being pleasant. :)

Shannon
06-16-2008, 09:49 PM
Standing and handling a woman's chair: Check
Opening doors: Check
Holding coats: Check
Lighting cigarettes: Check, although a bit out of practice

Spending the night with a $5000 hooker: Priceless

:D


I was just bemoaning the fact that I hate my current job. $5,000 a night, you say?

SaintLouieWoman
06-16-2008, 11:25 PM
That one really is. If I am the last to arrive at a table I usually make a point of telling the gentlemen not to stand on my account...it always generates nervous laughter...of course 1/2 of them are still digging into their salads during the convocation...that annoys me as well.

Oh...and people that start eating their food even though everyone has not yet been served. I never do...and then when it is noticed and the person waiting for their dinner tells me to go ahead and eat I love the sudden contortions of logic the other zealous eaters give as to why it was okay for them to begin eating. I usually just smile and nod and tell them of course they are right (but why the zeal over the rubber chicken they're about to gnaw on anyway?)

Sadly chivalry is pretty much dead. So is politeness. Being a smartass seems to be the preferred way to act. Shallow, thoughtless, snappy seem to be the norm.

But SR wasn't kidding about the chivalry thing with him. He's a keeper. :D

Appreciate your thoughtful thread.

linda22003
06-17-2008, 08:31 AM
I was just bemoaning the fact that I hate my current job. $5,000 a night, you say?

I think part of what makes them worth that amount of money is that they know when to say flattering things that are not deserved, and know when NOT to say unflattering things that ARE deserved. You may need some practice before you can aspire to that level. :D

LogansPapa
06-17-2008, 02:17 PM
I wasnít raised to ignore the small courtesies that are supposed to be afforded women. My dad (The Chief) taught me all the right things to do, when, and how (as in not to make such a big deal out of it).

Maybe an anachronism in present day - uncool, but I donít know any better.

Cold Warrior
06-17-2008, 02:23 PM
I wasnít raised to ignore the small courtesies that are supposed to be afforded women. My dad (The Chief) taught me all the right things to do, when, and how (as in not to make such a big deal out of it).

Maybe an anachronism in present day - uncool, but I donít know any better.

My girlfriend sometimes gets annoyed at me when I open a car door or help her with her coat as I don't think her generation is particularly used to it. That, however, doesn't deter me from doing so, as it comes so naturally to me.

Junebug68
06-17-2008, 03:02 PM
I love chivalry! I think it's great when guys do all the things you've mentioned, and I'm always sure to thank them.