View Full Version : ‘Suicide bomber’ squirrel hospitalizes Chicago politician

11-22-2016, 09:43 PM
Howard Brookins Jr., the alderman for Chicago’s 21st ward, had publicly spoken out about a toothy menace plaguing the city’s garbage carts: urban squirrels, which in Brookins’s view were “aggressive,” and aggressively damaging the trash cart lids.
He now has another reason to dislike the rodents. One recently sent him to the hospital with a skull fracture in a “freak bicycle accident,” as the alderman wrote on Facebook.
Brookins was biking along Cal-Sag Trail on Nov. 13, when a squirrel darted into his path. The squirrel cut Brookins’s bike trip short by wrapping itself in the spokes of the alderman’s bicycle. The alderman flipped over the handlebars and landed with such a severe impact that he fractured his skull, broke his nose and knocked out a handful of teeth, the Chicago Tribune reported (http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chicagoinc/ct-brookins-squirrels-1122-chicago-inc-20161121-story.html). A woman who passed by called 911. Brookins was only able to leave the hospital Thursday.

11-22-2016, 10:37 PM

11-23-2016, 11:54 AM
That squirrel is just a RACIST!!

11-23-2016, 07:37 PM

•Breaking news on the recent attack by squirrel. The Squirrel in question has been identified as Snappy D. Squirrel, age 13, of the local elm lofts. The family has provided as usual the traditional post incident picture of his 8th grade graduation. When interviewed, Mrs. Squirrel was only able to state 'my baby, my baby be dead". please find enclosed the picture as provided by the grieving family. Protests can be expected as SLM (Squirrel Lives Matter) held a vigil on the bike path halting bicycle traffic yesterday for several hours, calling for the end of bicycles and aldermen. A lawsuit was also filed yesterday in Cook County court against Specialized Bicycles for wrongful death