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Rebel Yell
12-15-2008, 03:38 PM
#1.Panda


"Not the cuddly, wuddly panda!" you exclaim, possibly chewing on a gender-neutral flax-soy bar. Well guess what? The panda is nature's loser, an animal so far gone that it won't even have sex without the aid of several Chinese zookeepers. When a species' sole responsibility is to "get busy" and it still doesn't bother, then we, as people who have to go to goddamn work every day, lose sympathy.

Speaking as men, we can tell you--when an animal has lost interest in its own penis, it wants to die. Scientists are considering cloning the species, but when you've got a room full of super-biologists stuck photocopying an animal that was too stupid to exist the first time, it isn't going to be long before they start thinking: "We could build a far better panda--with four arms! And laser vision! And neon pink! And isn't mystified by its own genitals!"



So how do we finish them off?
Pandas might be doing it themselves (by not doing it themselves), but as long as they have the "awww big teddy weddy bear!" appeal people are going to keep them around. But we know the secret that will truly encourage their extinction: they're carnivores. The cute color scheme blinds people to the fact that it's still a couple hundred pounds of goddamned bear.

http://www.cracked.com/article_16054_6-endangered-species-that-arent-endangered-enough.html

Gingersnap
12-15-2008, 08:10 PM
Prairie Dogs. Instead for 50 bajillion acres of Prairie Dog destruction, we now only have a bajillion. This isn't enough, apparently.

Words cannot adequately describe the loathing I have for Prairie Dogs. They are good for one thing. They're terrific for sighting-in your rifles every season. :)

Speedy
12-15-2008, 08:36 PM
Prairie Dogs. Instead for 50 bajillion acres of Prairie Dog destruction, we now only have a bajillion. This isn't enough, apparently.

Words cannot adequately describe the loathing I have for Prairie Dogs. They are good for one thing. They're terrific for sighting-in your rifles every season. :)

My dad had a tuned and accurized AR-15 with a sight rail, bipod and other goodies that he used for prairie dogs. Big fun making prairie dog tartar with that thing. I just used my Mini-14. My dad had two AR-15s. The prairie dog shooting one and an M4 Model. A cousin got the modified one, I got the M4 last year when my dad passed away.

Gingersnap
12-15-2008, 09:18 PM
My dad had a tuned and accurized AR-15 with a sight rail, bipod and other goodies that he used for prairie dogs. Big fun making prairie dog tartar with that thing. I just used my Mini-14. My dad had two AR-15s. The prairie dog shooting one and an M4 Model. A cousin got the modified one, I got the M4 last year when my dad passed away.

They're just like red mist, aren't they? Good times.