PDA

View Full Version : The 10 Most Terrifyingly Inspirational '80s Songs



Rebel Yell
06-19-2008, 04:19 PM
#9."Wanted (Dead or Alive)" by Bon Jovi
This song was written in that small window of the '80s when a blue collar steelworker from New Jersey with a terminal case of hockey hair could write songs about being a cowboy and be taken seriously. It was a very small window; it really only encased this one song. When he tried to repeat its success with "Blaze of Glory," the whole thing became laughable (when Bon Jovi insists that he is a "Colt in your stable," a lyric which may be the most unintentionally gay thing anybody ever said, ever, throughout time).

Still, in "Wanted" when he throws up his fist and says he's seen a million faces and rocked them all, we believe him. We want to spend the rest of our lives rocking faces.



The Only Way It Could Be Better:
The song is a bipolar narrative, with Bon Jovi emotionally wandering from the depths of the deepest stone-washed denim blues to the highest peak of cock-rocker euphoria. One minute he's lamenting "Sometimes you tell the day/By the bottle that you drink/And times when you're all alone all you do is think." Then almost immediately extolling that hes rocked all those aforementioned faces.

Incidentally, if you have had your face rocked at any point by Bon Jovi, please seek prompt medical attention. It is highly probable you have contracted something doctors are referring to as "super-chlamydia."

Best Things to Do While Listening:
This is a song best suited for strapping on a six-shooter or saddling up a motorcycle. Anything, really, that one could conceivably do to let others know that you have a large penis and are not afraid to use it.


The whole thing, hell the whole site, is hilarious.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15636_10-most-terrifyingly-inspirational-80s-songs.html

Gingersnap
06-19-2008, 05:13 PM
I did not see ZZ Top's 'Velcro Fly' on this list. Truly terrifying, truly 80s. :D

DarkScribe
06-19-2008, 05:34 PM
Gee, I kinda liked Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive" song. Anyway, my vote is for Rick Astley. Hate the friggin song, "Never Gonna Give You Up." Ugh. :eek:

Penguins Fan
06-19-2008, 07:46 PM
Speaking of Rick Astley.....

In May of 1988, I had a temp job that lasted all of two weeks in downtown Cleveland. My cube was right next to a guy who listened to a Top 40 station all day long. If it wasn't Rick Astley, it was "Shattered Dreams" every 45 minutes.

Damn, I hated that job.

In the most ridiculous band names, they somehow overlooked Blotto.

As for ZZTop, I never hear my favorite song from them anymore..."TV Dinners".

namvet
06-19-2008, 09:07 PM
I love the 80's music. it was ass kickin. have my own collection. some really good artists stepped up to the plate then.

Bubba Dawg
06-19-2008, 09:31 PM
God thread. Was the Police doing "Every Breath You Take" eighties? If so, it it truly creepy in a dangerous obsessive stalking sort of way.

And some people play it at their wedding.

namvet
06-19-2008, 09:33 PM
God thread. Was the Police doing "Every Breath You Take" eighties? If so, it it truly creepy in a dangerous obsessive stalking sort of way.

And some people play it at their wedding.

yes. but what was bad about it????

namvet
06-19-2008, 09:36 PM
The whole thing, hell the whole site, is hilarious.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15636_10-most-terrifyingly-inspirational-80s-songs.html

rebel yell
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ToeY7MkCm0c

Bubba Dawg
06-19-2008, 09:44 PM
yes. but what was bad about it????

It sounds like it's about an obsessed ex lover who watches every move and every breath of the object of his "affection."

Sting said of people who play it at their weddings....'good luck.'

namvet
06-19-2008, 09:48 PM
It sounds like it's about an obsessed ex lover who watches every move and every breath of the object of his "affection."

Sting said of people who play it at their weddings....'good luck.'

and it happens in real life. believe it or not. poeple really do get obsessed with each other. oh well..........

Zathras
06-19-2008, 11:56 PM
One of my favorite 80's songs is this one....

Van Halen - Dreams (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjPEBunlstQ)

And speaking of 80's songs...

I didn't know SarasotaRepub was so talented (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfIH-Bn_fbE)