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Bubba Dawg
06-20-2008, 08:13 PM
Okay, this is inspired by the 40 things a drunk should do before dying thread.

This is an oldie but goodie.

NEVER order a frozen drink in a bar that serves pickled pigs feet.

Also, NEVER hide Peter Lorre.

Gingersnap
06-20-2008, 08:18 PM
Okay, this is inspired by the 40 things a drunk should do before dying thread.

This is an oldie but goodie.

NEVER order a frozen drink in a bar that serves pickled pigs feet.

Also, NEVER hide Peter Lorre.

The eggs - don't eat them. I don't care what that other list says.

And absolutely don't eat one and do maybe 3 shots and then ride around in a pickup with no real suspension. :(

Cold Warrior
06-20-2008, 08:25 PM
Never order a VB in a Toohey's pub (ask Sonna). :D

Bubba Dawg
06-20-2008, 08:31 PM
The eggs - don't eat them. I don't care what that other list says.

And absolutely don't eat one and do maybe 3 shots and then ride around in a pickup with no real suspension. :(


In the Anderson Independent newspaper (SC) about a year ago, there was a story about an attempted robbery in a very small 'snack shop' type store. No one was hit, but there was a wild blaze of gunfire in both directions (owner/clerk and perpetrator). As I said, no one was hit but 'several' large jars of 'pickled pigs feet' and 'pickled eggs' were hit. The mess, the smell, the sight, and the clean-up had to be spectacular.

All you folks who don't live in the South just don't know wot you're missing.

Guns. Violence. Trotters.

Haute Damn.

Gingersnap
06-20-2008, 08:41 PM
In the Anderson Independent newspaper (SC) about a year ago, there was a story about an attempted robbery in a very small 'snack shop' type store. No one was hit, but there was a wild blaze of gunfire in both directions (owner/clerk and perpetrator). As I said, no one was hit but 'several' large jars of 'pickled pigs feet' and 'pickled eggs' were hit. The mess, the smell, the sight, and the clean-up had to be spectacular.

All you folks who don't live in the South just don't know wot you're missing.

Guns. Violence. Trotters.

Haute Damn.

I went for the egg in the spirit of spontaneous experimentation. I draw the line at pig's feet. Mr. Snaps eats them. I expect that he'll hook up with Philly one day over their mutual admiration for scrapple or as I term it - dog food.

Bubba Dawg
06-20-2008, 08:42 PM
I went for the egg in the spirit of spontaneous experimentation. I draw the line at pig's feet. Mr. Snaps eats them. I expect that he'll hook up with Philly one day over their mutual admiration for scrapple or as I term it - dog food.

I like Spam. Is scrapple the same as head cheese? I don't know what it is.

So, Philly eats everything?

Gingersnap
06-20-2008, 08:45 PM
I like Spam. Is scrapple the same as head cheese? I don't know what it is.

So, Philly eats everything?

Yeah, pretty much the same thing. She'll deny it but it's like quibbling over crack versus blow. You haven't lived until you've seen your saintlike grandmother pop the eyeball out of a pig head in the kitchen. :(

Bubba Dawg
06-20-2008, 08:50 PM
Yeah, pretty much the same thing. She'll deny it but it's like quibbling over crack versus blow. You haven't lived until you've seen your saintlike grandmother pop the eyeball out of a pig head in the kitchen. :(

You got that right. I grew up on a farm. I've seen animals become meat. It is a painful process. I prefer to avert my eyes from the slaughter and enjoy the fruits of the process. BUT, I would have a difficult time raising a pig or calf to become meat.

I do love my bacon, though. And burgers.

Gingersnap
06-20-2008, 09:12 PM
You got that right. I grew up on a farm. I've seen animals become meat. It is a painful process. I prefer to avert my eyes from the slaughter and enjoy the fruits of the process. BUT, I would have a difficult time raising a pig or calf to become meat.

I do love my bacon, though. And burgers.

We didn't raise hogs for money - just for the table. We traded them with the neighbors at slaughter time since all of the kids had played with them and fed them during the year. It was like a 4-H horror story.

Wasn't this thread about something more cheerful than putting down hogs? :confused:

Bubba Dawg
06-20-2008, 09:21 PM
We didn't raise hogs for money - just for the table. We traded them with the neighbors at slaughter time since all of the kids had played with them and fed them during the year. It was like a 4-H horror story.

Wasn't this thread about something more cheerful than putting down hogs? :confused:


Trotters and bar, and now for something completely different.....

My father-in-law was a soldier in WW2. At Camp Shelby Mississippi he had a pass to go into town. First stop was a bar where he had a brew and an enormous pickled pig's foot. He went to take a bite and it slipped from his fingers and rolled down the front of his uniform shirt and pants. He had to take the bus back to camp before the MP's caught him and charged him with being out of uniform.

He loves to tell that story. I've heard it a hundred times.

Space Gravy
06-20-2008, 09:27 PM
Okay, this is inspired by the 40 things a drunk should do before dying thread.

This is an oldie but goodie.

NEVER order a frozen drink in a bar that serves pickled pigs feet.

Also, NEVER hide Peter Lorre.

That advice works with wine coolers as well.

Gingersnap
06-20-2008, 09:39 PM
Never drink the actual limit when some fool is buying like the White Throne Judgment is going to happen tomorrow.

My sainted MIL once dated a guy who really, really liked bars. He'd get everybody rounded up and throw a couple hundred at the bartender with orders to just keep it coming. :eek:

One time, my BIL and I had about 12 beers in front of us and on the floor. Those nights were the stuff of legend for the few who could remember the evening.

Also, never throw up in a sleeping bag. Slightly off-topic but great advice anyway. (No, it wasn't me although I had a hearty laugh over it.)

megimoo
06-20-2008, 10:22 PM
The eggs - don't eat them. I don't care what that other list says.

And absolutely don't eat one and do maybe 3 shots and then ride around in a pickup with no real suspension. :(
Never go into the head after a guy who has been chowing down on pickled pigs feet and hard boiled chillie pepper eggs all night,It could be terminal !!

Gingersnap
06-20-2008, 10:54 PM
Never play "Stairway to Heaven" on the juke box. Just don't do it.

DarkScribe
06-21-2008, 12:06 AM
Never receive a drink from Johnny Vegas? Cold Warrior?

Kidding, guys...really...:D

megimoo
06-21-2008, 12:12 AM
Never play "Stairway to Heaven" on the juke box. Just don't do it.
It could work out for a 'Hot date' with a ' Lonesome Polska long haul' trucker but it would be kinda 'stinkey' in that closed truck cab!

du freeper
06-21-2008, 12:39 AM
Never drink a white russian after drinking copious amounts of Jack Daniel. You will blow your lunch through your nose. :cool:

megimoo
06-21-2008, 01:01 AM
Never drink the actual limit when some fool is buying like the White Throne Judgment is going to happen tomorrow.

My sainted MIL once dated a guy who really, really liked bars. He'd get everybody rounded up and throw a couple hundred at the bartender with orders to just keep it coming. :eek:

One time, my BIL and I had about 12 beers in front of us and on the floor. Those nights were the stuff of legend for the few who could remember the evening.

Also, never throw up in a sleeping bag. Slightly off-topic but great advice anyway. (No, it wasn't me although I had a hearty laugh over it.)Also never share a sleeping bag with cheep beer drinking, pickled pigs feet, hard boiled egg eater on a cold night with the top zipped up or suffer the ''Green Faced Death' !

lacarnut
06-21-2008, 01:46 AM
Never try to drink up the bar's supply of Black Jack in one sitting. I tried to do that when the drinks were on the house; a lawyer won a multi-million dollar lawsuit and set the bar up for the whole night.

Constitutionally Speaking
06-21-2008, 07:08 AM
You got that right. I grew up on a farm. I've seen animals become meat. It is a painful process. I prefer to avert my eyes from the slaughter and enjoy the fruits of the process. BUT, I would have a difficult time raising a pig or calf to become meat.

I do love my bacon, though. And burgers.


I've done the butchering myself. Country living is unmatched for grounding a person and giving them a sense of the real facts of life.

linda22003
06-21-2008, 08:51 AM
I expect that he'll hook up with Philly one day over their mutual admiration for scrapple or as I term it - dog food.

I'll be happy to go along on that gastronomic expedition. I'll even bring my own maple syrup.

linda22003
06-21-2008, 08:53 AM
Never drink a white russian after drinking copious amounts of Jack Daniel. You will blow your lunch through your nose. :cool:

You could have stopped after the fifth word of that first sentence, and you still would have been absolutely correct.

Bubba Dawg
06-21-2008, 09:13 AM
If you build a thousand bridges, you are a bridge builder.

If you build a thousand bridges, and drink one girlie drink, you are a girlie drink drinker.