I've seen this woman's house, her car, and her expense statement. She spends more money on her hair every month than our house payment. If he was only taking care of his responsibilities, they'd live like we do.
Either your state doesn't get off on screwing men to make women feel "all better," or you're not paying attention.
Having said that, I can assure you that, except in the very high income cases (combined net monthly income of $20 k or more) most parties to a divorce feel the financial pinch of separation and the wife, even with alimony or spousal support, can not continue the lifestyle that she and the children had pre-divorce. The husband likewise can not continue the prior lifestyle very well. One of the differences, however, is that the rules that generally bar taking more than 55% of anyone's net income means that a wife with no income other than her husband's support, with 3 children, will be attempting to live on the same amount for 4 people that he is living on for 1 person.
The biggest problem is that so many people today fail to do what you and your husband have done, and that is to plan on being able to pay the major bills with 1 income. With most people buying houses that are out of reach, the mortgage payment alone will suck up most, if not all, of a support payment. Daycare will generally suck up the rest of it, if it is involved. Two people who previously had trouble making ends meet, other than pay check to paycheck, are now attempting to fund 2 separate households with the same income pool. It is generally nearly impossible without serious alterations to lifestyle. Frequently this means that 1 of them is unable to do so without a lot of familial or other help.
When Mr. Snaps and I bought our first house, we looked for a mortgage payment (not a house) that either one of us could pay if the other became unemployed. We also bought in an area with public transportation (in case the car died). Both things happened and we survived them handily.
Maybe the the answer to the divorce/kids thing is to make both parents support the house and kids and have each of them live in a studio apartment and rotate through the kid house off and on. :p