Convicted Perv Bites Off More Than He Can Chew (We Hope).
You can't tell me that this hideous flexibbility isn't the work of Satan. Or yoga. Whatever it is, it's unholy.
Here's a Tip: Don't Bite Your Own Junk
By JOHN P. WISE
updated 32 minutes ago
A convicted sex offender from Brooklyn took a bite out of crime and a bite out of himself too, police said.
Damiene Iriarte was found naked and bleeding behind a building in the Fort Greene section of Brooklyn after having bitten the tip off his own penis, police told a local newspaper.
It goes without saying that he was subsequently hospitalized.
"How he did it? Limber, I guess. Not the work of a sane mind," a police official told The Daily News.
Iriarte, 26, pleaded guilty in Suffolk County in 2004 to two misdemeanors after being accused the previous year of raping a 13-year-old girl, according to the News.
It's not clear why Iriarte bit his own penis, but investigators might be just as confused -- or impressed -- that he did it at all.
He's recovering at Brooklyn Hospital Center, representatives of which have not returned calls seeking comment.