Nervous Nigerians Fear Penis-Snatching Pigeon
Now CU is back up. :D
Nigerian Taxi Drivers Strike For Missing Penis
IN Nigeria things are happening.
Motor bike Taxi drivers from Gwagwalada, a small locality close to Abuja in the middle of Nigeria, have gathered to protest against a client they accuse of using pigeons to steal penises.
The News Agency of Nigeria reports that the suspect’s last victim is a 35 year old Motor Bike Taxi driver named Musa Abubakar. The suspect denies all accusations.
Abubakar claims Mohammed Ma’aji had stolen his “family jewels” with the help of a white “spiritual pigeon” hidden in his bag.
This spiritual pigeon was wearing a small black tie around its neck.
“I drove this man to three different places. On our way back to our point of departure, he squeezed his legs tightly around me which made feel sick and weak immediately. I therefore stopped riding to have a look in my trousers and it was gone!”
Says Mohammed Ma’aji: “I already have one, what do you want me to do with his?..It is likely that Abubakar lost his penis yesterday evening with a woman.”
The local transport union of motoclyclists have threatened to take the case to court if the pigeon does not give back the missing penis to its owner.
ChiComms Step Up Attacks. Move From Poison Dog food To Poison Couches.
With awwwwwww itchy baby pic at site. What will those inscrutable people think of next? On the plus side, I'm hearing a lot more people yakking about buying locally made stuff.
Poisoned settee burned baby
By EMMA MORTON
A SHOCKED mum last night told how her baby son suffered blistering burns all over his body after lying on a “toxic” sofa.
Little Archie Lloyd-Bennett needed hospital treatment for what the consultant branded the “worst case” he had seen. The nine-month-old now has seven lotions, creams and pills to keep his condition under control.
He is among at least 1,000 people who suffered an agonising allergic reaction from sitting on the top-selling leather settees. And last night it was claimed there could be many more who have not linked their condition with the Chinese-made furniture.
They were sold by Argos and Land of Leather for between £600 and £850. They were treated with a potent fungicide to stop them going mouldy in storage.
Instead, the substance triggered violent irritant-related eczema in some people.