Help! Anyone here know how to pass a urine test?

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Originally Posted by movie buff

I figured it was a reference to this old episode of 'Seinfeld' where Elaine gets fired or at least is denied a promotion (I forget which) because an employee drug test she took tested positive for opium, but it turned out it was just because she had a fondness for poppy- seed muffins.

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Aren't all episodes of 'Seinfeld' technically "old" now. :eek:

Yeah, I thought of that episode too as I am quite familiar with the series.

How to pass a urine test. Stay up the night before and study, study, study.

It seems the height of DUmbness to be asking this question of a group of MORONS who probably have all failed an employment drug screening thus allowing them to post on that forum all day in the 1st place.

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Originally Posted by ralph wiggum

So, if I am to believe this story (which I don't), this idiot ate enough poppy-seed bagels to spend five years at a juvenile facility?

Where's that giant B.S. flag when I need it?

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http://i53.tinypic.com/b8qyp2.gif

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Originally Posted by ralph wiggum

So, if I am to believe this story (which I don't), this idiot ate enough poppy-seed bagels to spend five years at a juvenile facility?

Where's that giant B.S. flag when I need it?

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I believe it. He obviously had a roaring case of the munchies. :D

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Originally Posted by FlaGator

How to pass a urine test. Stay up the night before and study, study, study.

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I've found that it helps to cram before a test. A gallon of water works wonders.

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Originally Posted by noonwitch

Hey, Dummie, it's called Goldenseal tea. Ask any crackhead who got their kids back from foster care.

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Don't it works in your neck of the woods but Goldenseal is just a diuretic. Most places test for specific gravity now out here. Peeing more isn't helpful.

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SidDithers (1000+ posts) Mon May-16-11 12:58 PM
Response to Original message

22. K&R for any post with the phrase "fake penis" in it...

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What if a chick needs to take the test?

Fake vajayjay? Is that possible?

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Originally Posted by Odysseus

I believe it. He obviously had a roaring case of the munchies. :D


I've found that it helps to cram before a test. A gallon of water works wonders.

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When I first enlisted I was a skinny bastard. I weighed about 10lbs UNDER the minimum weight allowance. That morning before getting leaving the hotel for the physical, I slammed a gallon of water.

They get us in, weigh us, and take us to a room to sit down. Next in line was the drug test. After about 20 minutes, you can see a number of us starting to do a bit of a dance in our chairs. A few minutes later we're standing up just trying to think about something else. The recruiters there all know whats going on, and you could see a hint of a smile on their face. Finally, one of them spoke up and says "Ok, it's time to do a urinalyses. Who really needs to go first?" We bolted for that door. Not one of us gave it a single though that it was just 6 us us standing around a circular trough hanging out pissing into a cup with a bunch of other guys watching. I never had to pee so bad in my life. And I still needed a weight waiver. :mad:

I know how to pass that urine test. I've done it over and over again.

(I stay out of trouble).

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Originally Posted by Adam Wood

Yeah. Nothing like hanging steel while stoned. That's not a recipe for disaster or anything.

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Pretty much every iron worker I have ever known was a partier.